Whew! It has been one exhausting week.
And that's saying a lot, considering I've been laying in bed for approximately 98 hours since the week started, and I have done nothing substantive that entire time.
Unless watching "Year One" is considered substantive.
No, I didn't think so.
Finding out about the gestational diabetes was obviously the biggie. We spent the three days between the diagnosis and our education meeting trying (basically in vain) to follow the appropriate diet without clear guidelines or feedback from a meter. And you can imagine how emotional it makes a poor double-preggo when you blindly mess with her food intake like that. I looked slightly less cuddly than the diabeetus cat:
Fortunately the meeting cleared up a lot of our questions and misconceptions about gestational diabetes, and now we have the meter to tell us how we are doing. For the record: we are kicking butt. (And I say "we" because it is a huge team effort between me and DH and my Mom.) The diet is not as bad as I had initially feared -- although I still maintain that whole grains are vastly inferior to the refined variety (who wouldn't prefer something that's refined? it sounds so sophisticated. ooh la la, look at me eating refined grains!) -- and so far at least, my diabetes seems to be easily controlled by diet. Yes, I am bitter that I can't have cake at my baby shower next weekend. Yes, I am even more bitter that I can't inhale a gigantic cookie cake on my 30th birthday. But I soothe myself by imagining how I will eventually make up for the weeks of sacrifice by turning my bathtub into a giant hot fudge sundae and rolling around in the sugary deliciousness while laughing insanely -- MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
AHHH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
MUWAHAHAHA-- *ahem* Excuse me.
Then my cervix check was this morning, which always fills me with anxiety for at least a day in advance. It wasn't my favorite sonographer when we arrived, which made me even more nervous. But as soon as the screen came up, I knew we would be okay. It's holding fast and tight at 2.4 cm. Whew! High fives all around, and back home for another week. I did forget to ask the doc if I can stop the ibuprofen I'm taking, I'm so over it, but there's always next week.
Despite all the stress and worry this week, I've had moments where I have just been overcome with gratitude. Our situation at the moment is not ideal, that's for sure. But it's very temporary. And while I know there will be inevitable change and loss somewhere in our future, because that's the nature of life, I am so grateful for today. I have a devoted husband who still makes my heart flutter with giddiness after so many years. We are not rich, but we live a comfortable life. I have a healthy son with a gentle but playful spirit who brings joy to my every day. I have parents willing to sacrifice to care for me and my growing family without so much as a mutter, despite my own decisions to live so far away and get myself knocked up with twins. And as of this moment, I have two tiny babies wiggling in my belly, filled with all the promise of new life. It's much easier for most people to achieve a family than it has been for us. But this is our journey, and if it has to be this way, then I will gladly walk through the rough patches to earn my great blessings.
I know it's cheesy... but hey, I'm pregnant, remember? It's not so much my right to be emotional as my duty.
Now it's time to end this rollercoaster of a week. I'm ready to get back into the groove of laying around and spending quality time snuggled with something else I'm grateful for, my DVR. I have the season premiere of Psych waiting for me. I'm coming, Shawn!
Tall, Dark and Damaged by Sarah Andre
8 hours ago