Sunny in Seattle

Wordless Wednesday

2012-01-18T02:30:00.000-08:00

(or: I'm feeling too tired to post something real but wanting to catch up on pictures taken since Thanksgiving)

(Oh come on, it's just sparkling apple cider! We don't let our kids drink alcohol until they are least 6 years old.)

Half way, and some infertile thoughts

2012-01-02T12:35:00.000-08:00

Last Friday, we hit the half-way point with this little munchkin: 20 weeks pregnant. We also saw the doctor for our anatomy scan, and good news abounds. All of his measurements (yes, still definitely a "him" -- our boys love to show off the goods for the camera!) are spot on. He's at the 63rd percentile for size, and I'm hoping he stays at that level instead of being a newborn toddler like his singleton brother. Although he's ultimately exiting via the sunroof, carrying around a 10+ pound fetus is not what I'm talking about. The cervix that gave me so much trouble during my twin pregnancy is long and closed and showing no signs of early shortening. The doc isn't worried about it because of my previous success carrying a singleton and won't check again unless I insist. Which I might. But combined with test results putting our babe in the lowest risk categories for Down Syndrome and Cystic Fibrosis, we left the office happy. Well, except for the fact that we had to wait two hours to be seen. But I'm sure the OB could tell through my smile and "that's okay!" when she apologized that I was severely pissed and would not tolerate that in the future.

In the lower ultrasound picture, you can see the lens on his left eye. Isn't that freaky? I mean, in a "I will still love my baby even if he's a cyborg" kind of way.

At this point, I am feeling much better physically. My appetite is picky at times, but the nausea is all but faded. I am tired, but I have three kids under the age of four, how could I not be tired? I have gained about 10 pounds so far, which is fine, but I weakly succumb to my intense sugar/carb cravings, so I fear I either have gestational diabetes or 30+ more pounds waiting for me in the third trimester. Place your bets, everyone!

I also thought I'd finally take a minute to answer a question I get asked a lot: Does this pregnancy help heal the wounds of past struggles because it was not the result of infertility treatments? (Okay, only my Mom asks me that. But she's asked several times now.)

The answer: Not really. Not yet.

Let's first go back to the day I found out I was pregnant. Because this pregnancy was not exactly planned, I didn't have the HAPPY-HAPPY-JOY-JOY reaction that I always imagined I'd have if we achieved unassisted pregnancy. It was almost like, "Really, God? Really? Now? After all we've been through?" I realize this is not a popular answer for the IF crowd, but it's honest -- I was very conflicted, worried about how a new baby would affect our family. I could hardly speak or function for days after seeing a positive on the home pregnancy test, as it all sunk in. Of course this pregnancy is a blessing, and after processing it, I am thrilled and grateful to be completing our family with the fourth baby I started longing for after the twins were born. But my initial concerns about the timing of this birth and the strain on our already strained family overshadowed the pure glee I would have felt to experience the more traditional hey-let's-make-a-baby-hooray-now-we-are-pregnant route.

But I think the main reason this pregnancy doesn't feel different is that we are still waiting for our grand result: The Baby. Even though I'm thankful to have achieved conception without medical aid, I feel like I can't really declare this pregnancy a success until I'm snuggling my newborn in my arms. We already know that after receiving help with conception, my body can carry a pregnancy to term and produce a healthy baby. And praise God for that! But what about when the baby is made from just me and hubs, au natural? There were artificial drugs involved in boosting my eggs for previous pregnancies, and only the Best of the Best of DH were allowed to come to the party. It makes me worry that this pregnancy is more fragile, that there is more of a chance something can go wrong, because our two parts (mainly my part, really) are weaker without the assistance.

How's that for being scarred by infertility?

So I guess the short answer is that hopefully this baby will be healing for me, but it's too early for that. And I'm grateful to have one last little man to hold, love, raise, and share with the world, regardless of how it all came to be.

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-24T07:31:00.000-08:00

Das Boot

2011-12-21T19:30:00.000-08:00

Grumble.

Grumble. Grumble.

The good news is that Nix is no longer encumbered by a full leg cast.

The bad news is that he's not healed yet. Now he's in a walking cast boot thing for at least two more weeks.

He can take baths again (the boot comes off for the tub), although he screamed bloody murder when we tried to give him one tonight. Before breaking his leg, bath time was a favorite of his.

He also doesn't need to wear it at night. I anticipate that re-adjustment going better than the bath, but I've been wrong about everything else so far, so we'll see.

Trying not to feel sorry for him, and for myself. There are much worse things. But can I be irritated about this for a few more hours? Thanks, you're the best.

Sigh.

Favorite Things Friday

2011-12-14T15:42:00.000-08:00

Yes, I am posting my Favorite Things Friday post two days early. I feel like I am late or behind on everything these days, and this gives me a sense of being ahead of the game for once. I even considered naming it Favorite Things Sunday and counting it as four days early, but that just seemed ridiculous.

But before I get to the list, a quick update on Nix and his broken leg. He has been doing very well with it overall. During the day, he remains his bright and happy self, and he's even learned to walk on it, provided he can use something to help him balance. In fact, I'd bet $100 that a scan would reveal he is already healed, but we have to wait one more week for the official word nevertheless. His x-ray is on the 21st, and as long as it's looking good, the cast will come off. Unfortunately, the cast is so cumbersome that it does interrupt ~~our~~ his sleep. And he finds it quite hysterical to lay in his crib on his back and smack the cast against the rails, producing a loud banging sound and chipping away the paint on the gorgeous crib that our parents purchased when Bean was in utero. So much for the one nice piece of furniture left in the house. But it's memories, right? That's what I tell myself. Unconvincingly.

Now on to my list of 10 things that are making my life easier, happier, tastier, and better looking these days!

Jet-Puffed Gingerbread Marshmallows. Bought these on a whim at the grocery store, and YUM! Gingerbread is one of my favorite flavors of Christmas, and these do not disappoint. My favorite is adding a few of them to classic Swiss Miss hot cocoa, the hotter the better because the men get all melty and flavor the drink. There are other recipe suggestions on the bag, but making them dance around and then biting their heads off is good enough for me.

Method Laundry Detergent. Maybe it's just me, but I still haven't figured out a good way to deal with the measuring cap on the huge container of detergent I buy at Costco. It gets sticky and looks yucky and gets lost even though my Mom cleverly put a ladle holder on top of my washer to serve as its home. This Method soap may not be the most economical alternative, but I think it's fun. It's a PUMP. Which means I can use it one-handed while holding a squirming toddler who is trying to "help" and there is absolutely no mess. Oh, and it cleans our clothes, to boot!

Alterna Bamboo Smooth Kendi Oil hair treatment. I am a sucker for those small free samples you get at Sephora when you ~~spend too much money~~ make small, reasonable purchases. But very rarely do I actually buy the product after tossing away the used package. This is one of those exceptions: I ordered this immediately! I may be sporting baggy pajama pants and an old Michigan State t-shirt with a cow on the front, but if my hair is soft and silky, I can actually fool myself into thinking I look decent. This stuff does the job better than any product I have tried -- my brush literally purrs when it runs through my hair. Okay, not literally. Maybe that's me purring. But one of us is, for sure.

M*A*C eye paint. After discovering this product years ago, I truly never -- NEVER! -- put on eye make-up without it. I have a basic canvas color that I use as an eye base under my powder and liner. My eye make-up looks almost exactly the same at the end of a long day as it does when I apply it in the morning. Which is to say, I look like Cindy Crawford. When she wears baggy sweats and a cow t-shirt, of course.

Starbucks new Everything with Cheese bagels. Dang those tricky people at Starbucks. Despite the fact that I dislike their coffee (much preferring a lesser-known local chain) and remain bitter that their overwhelming presence in the Seattle area chased out Dunkin Donuts, they find a way to keep me rolling through their drive-thru on a regular basis. First it was their salted caramel hot chocolate. Now it's these ridiculously yummy bagels. Sliced and toasted with cream cheese, please! Why am I wearing this bag over my head? Let's not talk about it.

Amazon Subscribe & Save. Oh Amazon, how did I ever live my life without you? Shopping from the comfort of my own home, for products from oil misters to garden gnomes, conveniently rated by other users and with free shipping. And now I don't even have to strain myself with the clicks required to search for and order products, you send them to my door automatically just when I need them! Subscribe & Save isn't always cheaper than going to the store, but on certain baby products like diapers, wipes, and diaper pail refills, your prices can't be beat. And I don't have to risk running into these people.

Butter London nail polish. I discovered this polish in a boutique shop during a trip to a nearby fake Bavarian town that DH and I took for our anniversary in July. I can't in good conscience recommend the locale (it felt sort of like the Walmart of fake Bavarian towns), but luckily you don't have to go there to get this product. I no longer have the 100+ collection of nail polish colors that I did when I gave myself weekly manicures in college -- oh the leisure of youth! -- and I very rarely have the chance to paint my nails. So it's nice to have a splurge like this when I do. It really does go on like butter! It is also "3 free," which apparently means it's made without three very, very bad ingredients. I could tell you what they are, but then I'd have to kill you. Let's leave it at that.

Skinny Cow Heavenly Crisps. When I am grocery shopping, I generally avoid things that boast "low fat" or ''low sugar," because I would rather eat less of something that tastes delicious than eat more of something that tastes like dog food. Even the premium stuff we buy for my pooch because of her butt-scooting problem. But praise be to God when something has a relatively low amount of calories and satisfies that must-have-chocolate-or-I-will-tear-this-town-down-brick-by-brick-until-I-find-some craving that I get ~~daily~~ on rare occasion. But this is true to advertising: the bars are light, crispy, heavenly, and have only 110 calories. Good news, town! You are safe. For now.

Epsom Salt. December is one of my favorite months, but this particular one has been a challenge. From dealing with the kids to pregnancy pains to holiday stress, I have rediscovered my love of taking baths to relax in the evenings. It doesn't take long, I can usually find the time once the kids are in bed to soak for 20 minutes. The package sums it up: "Beat Winter Blues. Simply dissolve two cups of Lavender Epsom Salt in a warm bath to provide soothing relief from stress and stiffness." They also offer tips on using the salt in spring, summer, and fall -- but I'll leave you to read the bag and make the thrilling discovery about those seasons yourself. Hint: they all have to do with adding the salt to your bath.

Sunbeam Dual Control Electric Blanket. In the summer, one of my favorite things is crawling into cool, fresh, crisp sheets at the end of the day. In the winter, it irritates me. I finished my hot chocolate with gingerbread marshmallows, beat my winter blues with a salt bath, pulled on my snuggly PJs, and now it's time to cuddle up in bed and watch Seinfeld as I drift off to sleep. Except I'm jolted out of my warm reverie by freezing cold sheets! Or at least, I was, until we got this electric blanket. I warm my side of the bed before getting in, and now I don't have to ~~force~~ ask DH nicely to warm my feet on his legs. I also use it in the middle of the night to keep my side warm while I respond to the urgent requests of a certain unnamed 3-year-old who doesn't seem to have the same affinity for his own bed. Maybe Santa needs to bring him an electric blanket.

What product is rocking your world right now?

Breaking point

2011-11-27T12:15:00.000-08:00

We are having quite a time over here in the Sunny Household right now.

Quite. A. Time.

First, let's start with the literal break. Nix's sweet little leg. He had just started up the stairs, on the first step above the landing. He realized he had forgotten to flip the hall light on and off 20 times before heading up, so he turned to come back down to complete the important the task. But he slipped off the stair and fell five inches onto the landing.

Managing, in the process, to fracture both the tibia and fibula in his right leg.

After spending a delightful evening at urgent care getting x-rays and a splint, then calling around for a couple of hours the next morning to find an orthopedist who could cast the leg of a 19-month-old, then taking him to Seattle Children's to finally get said cast.... now we will enjoy the four weeks of a completely immobile and uncomfortable, if still adorably sweet, Nix. He is a trooper, but sleeping is a challenge (for all of us, in consequence), as well as trying to keep him occupied during the day without plugging him into the television for 12 straight hours. And it is truly heartbreaking when his earnest, pleading face looks up at you and he grabs at his cast, "asking" you to please take it off. Because he's too young to understand why it's there and when it'll be gone.

I don't mean to complain.

But waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

I do feel like I have reached a rite of passage as a Mother of Boys, though. Our first broken bone in the family. I didn't pass out, so that's saying something.

Now the emotional break. Namely: mine.

In addition to dealing with Nix's leg, which I realize is a relatively minor inconvenience, there are a few other things conspiring to deepen the divide between me and my sanity.

1) I am in the grips of swirling, irrational pregnancy hormones.

2) Bean is in the grips of the More-Terrible-Than-The-Twos Threes.

3) I have active twin 1.5 year olds.

4) HOLIDAYS!

On the bright side, I no longer live with the constant feeling that I could barf at any moment. My stomach is still uneasy, and food is overall unappetizing. Even my beloved chocolate sits uneaten on the shelf. (If only I could bottle that feeling for post-pregnancy, right?) But it's an improvement. What remains is the lethargy, a short fuse, and wild swings of emotions. I cried three times during a recent episode of Glee, and Bean's impressive temper tantrums are matched only by my own. Let's just say I have less a "pregnancy glow" and more a "pregnancy growl."

Add to my inability to be calm and stable, the onset of the "Harrowing Threes" or whatever you want to call it. I have read on countless blogs, other mamas lamenting how three is a much more difficult age than two.

Y-E-S.

I guess I had to pay my dues. Bean was a ridiculously easy toddler. And he still is a great kid, most of the time. At preschool and his gym class, he intently listens to the teachers and follows all directions enthusiastically. He is respectful of the other kids and loves to do artwork. He is creative and thoughtful and his mind is absorbing new ideas like a sponge. He loves to cuddle.

But then... things turn bad. They turn bad quickly, and they turn bad severely.

I'll spare the details, other than to say it involves convulsing, crying, screaming, and possibly throwing a toy, if one is within reach.

And Bean gets pretty worked up too.

I realize what I lack, other than the fair amount of patience that I had when I wasn't gestating, is a plan. A script. Since the same scenarios play over and over, I need to know in advance how to handle it. That should keep me calm, at the very least. I'm working on that plan right now, wish me luck. In the meantime, thank goodness my parents are nearby.

Meanwhile, the twins. They are so hilarious, adorable, energetic, curious, and enterprising. Which absolutely wears me out. I ran into a mom with twin boys a few years older than the twins. She told me that this age was the hardest for her. Another twin mama with 6-year-olds told me the first year of mobility was the most difficult for her.

I am hoping that's true.

They are fabulous boys, really. I adore them to pieces and find so much to love about this age. And I have not forgotten how incredibly blessed I was to deliver them full-term without any health problems, I regularly thank God for that. But they are exhausting right now. They find so much more trouble to get into than Bean ever did at this age, and they want to be involved in everything we do. The only thing harder, I imagine, would be having three of them.

Add in holiday stress... getting the tree up (when? how?)... buying presents (when? how?)... mailing cards (when? how?)... well, despite the fact that I absolutely love Christmas, and I'm one of the few people who doesn't mind seeing the displays go up at Target in October, I'm feeling rather grumpy about the whole deal this year.

But enough of my complaining. You can see why I haven't posted in a while, and you're welcome! Let's move on to something more fun that discussing the chaos that is my life at the moment. Catching up on pictures of everything from a visit to the Museum of Flight, a soggy trip to the pumpkin patch (when my camera battery died after 5 minutes), playing at preschool, Thanksgiving, and general tomfoolery. Enjoy!

12 weeks 4 days (and an early gender reveal)

2011-11-09T12:57:00.000-08:00

From the outside:

From the inside:

I had forgotten how emotional it is to see your baby on an ultrasound. The first peek we had, he was hardly more than a blob. Other than relief to see the heart flickering away, I can't say I really felt connected with him being a baby. But this time (at our sequential screen yesterday), he looked like a little person in there, flopping and wiggling all around. We could even see him gulping down some amniotic fluid, which was one of the cutest, sweetest things I have ever seen.

It's official: I am completely in love with him.

Oh yeah, and I say "him" because it's a boy. The tech was able to get us the money shot.

I'm going to have four sons!!!! Tee hee!

The Cuteness League of America

2011-11-01T15:29:00.000-07:00

Let no bad guy rest easy.

It's a bird, it's a plane...

... it's some ridiculously adorable superheros.

They may be small, but when they work together,

they can easily bring you to your knees, begging for mercy.

Trust me.

The pooch was excited that we weren't going to make

her be a lobster this year.

Until we put her in this.

... and of course, Jack O'Melon 2011

In which my uterus starts to resemble a clown car

2011-10-21T10:15:00.000-07:00

It may look like a dog wearing glasses, but let me assure you: that is a baby. In my uterus.

To answer all of your questions but two:

I am 10 weeks along, due May 18th.

There is only one baby in there. Yes, we are sure.

We did not use any infertility treatments.

This baby was not exactly planned. We were in talks about the possibility of Baby #4, when God/Fate/Randonmess/Whatever you Believe decided for us. Regardless, we are both thrilled and feel gratefully blessed.

It is quite possible that I have never been as surprised in my entire life as I was when I tested positive on that home pregnancy test.

Bean is absolutely thrilled. He watches my baby bump and talks to the baby almost daily. By his estimation, the baby seems ready to come out.

Yes, I have a baby bump already. My uterus is either incredibly excited, or completely lazy.

I am super exhausted and extremely nauseous. This is the hardest first trimester of all of my pregnancies. Could be entirely a function of the pregnancy itself, or because this time I am trying to keep up with three small children who have no interest whatsoever in allowing me to rest.

I do not have it in me to try for a VBA2C, so God willing we make it that far, we'll be scheduling a third C-section. While she's in there, my OB will tie my tubes. Double knotted.

No, I am not crazy. Yet.

Stay tuned for the answers to your other two questions: my thoughts on gender, and what it's like to be fertile after infertility.

And now some picture of the kiddos on the outside of my womb, because I've gotten behind again!

This will probably read like one of those letters people put in Christmas cards

2011-09-21T21:45:00.000-07:00

I haven't meant to be away from my blog for so long, I truly haven't! In fact, I am rather horrified by this extended absence. But life has been hectic lately, and with school starting... well, time has gotten away from me. I thought I'd do a little update on each member of our family, just for posterity (and my Grandma, who reads my blog faithfully, no matter how infrequent or boring my posts). Life with two 1-year-olds and a 3-year-old is quite different from life with two infants and a toddler, for mostly better and occasionally worse!

Bean, my big boy, just hit 3.5 years old. He is starting his fourth year at our co-op preschool, and this is the first year that I will drop him off (usually) instead of staying the whole time. Although he is generally shy and prefers to hang close to me when we go out, he is very familiar with the building and teachers and classmates, so we haven't had any problems with the transition so far. The teacher's comment was, "He is so quiet -- I think he was having fun?" And from the big grin on his face when he told us about flying kites and being traced on a giant piece of paper, I'm sure he did. Bean's core qualities remain steady: he is thoughtful, careful, and loving. I never hesitate to bring him on errands with me; he is patient and well-behaved and helpful. He talks constantly and asks a million questions, from deep concerns on mortality ("Mom, are we going to be around forever? Are we going to melt?") to musings on male private parts ("Mom, it would feel good for you if you had one.") We are struggling with whether To Nap or Not To Nap, which can result in a nasty case of incessant whining, but I try to look on the bright side: when he skips his nap, he goes to bed early. Cue angels singing. In exciting news, after almost a year and a half, he's starting to come around to his brothers. Perhaps they don't exist solely to steal attention from him and destroy his toys? As long as they don't touch his prized monster trucks, there is often an unstable truce among them. Better than the constant bitter resentment, so we are moving in the right direction.

Nix is 17 months old. His Bumpa dubbed him a "sack of sugar" long ago, and even as a toddler, he lives up to the description. He is similar to his big brother Bean in many ways: he is sweet, adorable, and snuggly. Nix loves to smile, he giggles a lot, and he easily wins everyone over with his precious face. While he likes to wander and explore, he is physically more tentative than his twin. He adores reading, loves to point to objects on the page when asked, enjoys watching cars zoom down the road, and there is no greater pleasure in his life than watching Sesame Street. His new favorite word is "truck," which he pronounces enthusiastically with an extremely guttural German-sounding "UGCK." Nix is beginning his second year at the co-op, and this year he is actually mobile. Sadly, I don't think he's going to be my scholar, because so far he absolutely hates it. Not a good sign when the biggest challenge is trying to keep your crayon on the paper instead of drawing on the table. He can sometimes, however, be distracted by fun items in the sensory table. Especially those that are edible, like unsweetened rice puffs or oats. Of course, he still tries to eat the stuff that isn't edible, but that's why we go to school, right? Gotta learn these things.

Gax is also 17 months old, of course. His personality is quite different from his twin's, as it has been since their birth. He is very energetic, daring, always looking for the next adventure, and constantly imitates what adults are doing. He studies life and dives right in. Gax will fall off something or bang his head and not make a peep of complaint, even as the rest of us wince and think, "Oooh, that's gotta hurt." He loves cooking, only reads books if he's the one in charge of the endeavor (i.e. don't bother trying to actually read it to him, or even touching the book), and while he does love dancing to songs on Sesame Street, he isn't as big on watching television. I admire the spirit and energy in Gax, he is decisive and confident. Which also makes him my biggest challenge, because he can also pull an attitude or throw a tantrum worthy of an 8 year old at least. He's quite advanced for his age, really. He loves preschool, and I'm just grateful he can explore/destroy things that aren't in my house for a couple of hours a week.

DH is still the superstar of my life. He is passionate about his job, and although he has little time for anything but working and take care of our boys, he still manages to make sure I always have everything I need. He has been getting up to ride his bike before work, and despite my complete lack of understanding about what compels people to 1) wake early to exercise and 2) ride a bike out of anything but absolute necessity (escaping a zombie attack, perhaps?), I am very proud of him.

SAHMs don't often have the opportunity to recognize an accomplishment other than "I successfully kept my kids from being electrocuted by the light socket today," so this is a big confidence booster for me. Other than that, I am keeping busy once again serving as the VP of Fundraising at our preschool. Because, you know, I need something to keep me busy.

My Mom is unfortunately struggling with her back. She has an inflamed disk that is resting on a nerve, causing great pain in her leg. She's on some meds and sees a physical therapist twice a week, and we are all hopeful that this won't last too much longer. But on a happier note, she is otherwise enjoying life in Seattle as much as we are enjoying having her here. Her neighbors have welcomed her with wide open arms, and there is always someone knocking on her door bringing food or drinks or other goodies or asking if she can come out to play. I am beyond thrilled that my Mom has made these new friendships, mainly because she shares the food and drinks and other goodies with me. But yeah, I'm happy for her, too.

My Dad travels a fair amount for work, but fortunately for all of us, he has freedom to be home a lot as well. The twins think that the sun rises and sets on their Bumpa. Seeing my boys bond so much with their Grandpa... well, it's indescribable, really. He will feed them, he will take them to the park, he will bath them, he will brush their teeth, he will put them down for bed. He is pretty much a life preserver in Grandpa form. I can't imagine what I'd do without either one of my parents, but I'm pretty sure there's a straight jacket, padded cell, and delusions of being Lady Gaga involved.

As I mentioned before, life has changed quite a bit in the past 12 months. A lot more sleeping at night (hooray!), and a lot more keeping active young toddlers from climbing and hurling themselves off dangerously high places. Or preventing them from breaking objects that I didn't realize they could reach. Or desperately trying to keep them from having meltdowns in public while I try to grab some groceries. Or scrambling to find something for them to eat since they suddenly hate anything they loved yesterday. (Luckily the dog's tastes are much more consistent.) Yes, they are at that precious age where they have opinions, which they may or may not be able to effectively express, and God help you if you don't comply immediately. With one toddler, this is a challenge. With two toddlers... well, let's just say I am well stocked with Excedrin Migraine.

I don't mean to complain, because life at home really is getting easier as the months pass. But there are still challenges to having 1-year-old twins that do make me sometimes envious of friends who have their children one at a time. There are things I can't do, places I can't go, just because of the logistics involved. The children are all still at the ages of needing a lot of assistance with everything they do, so I am often run ragged trying to keep everyone happy.

But then there are times when I see my three boys playing and laughing together, so close in age, learning about life together, growing up with shared experiences... and I wouldn't change it for the world. I hope and pray that under the standard sibling bickering, they will find support and friendship, because they have a lot to offer one another.

I am tired. But I am really, really excited about this family.

Snapshots of Summer

2011-08-24T13:32:00.000-07:00

I intended to include an update of what life is like with a 3-year-old and very mobile 1-year-old twins with this post, but then I downloaded 107 pictures, and I figure that's enough to keep you busy for now. Here are pictures that cover most of our summer (not previously seen, natch), including: DH's family's visit, playing outside, potty-training celebrations, DH's birthday, learning to eat, playing outside, playing the piano, bothering the dog, first haircuts (results, at least -- I forgot the camera! *banging head against wall*), visiting a farm, my cousin J's visit, flying a kite with no wind, first trip to Dairy Queen, blueberry picking, and general silliness. Enjoy!

Home is whenever I'm with you

2011-08-07T18:04:00.000-07:00

So I guess this is the part where we sit down together and you pretend to be interested in my vacation pictures and stories? Fabulous!

Verdict on traveling as Just Sunny: it was amazing. Did I miss my family? Absolutely. Did I have the constant nagging feeling that a part of myself (or four parts of myself) was missing? Of course. Was it awkward not having children around to blame for random food stains on my shirt? Naturally.

But have no worries, my friends, I got past it and had an incredible weekend.

Let's move on to the pictures first, shall we?

Kicked off the weekend at a spa. I spent the time in between appointments texting my friends. Because the only thing that's better than being completely pampered is bragging about it.

Oh yes we did.

Quack quack, baby!

I don't have many good pictures from the Duck Tour for two reasons. First, it didn't occur to me to pack my telephoto lens, so all the pictures are far away. Second, who can remember all of the famous buildings and landmarks, anyway? I have at least a dozen random photos that mean nothing to me, like this one.

And this one.

Yet another meaningless snapshot.

It's sad when the most interesting thing in your picture is the side of some strange dude's head.

I do remember this one, though! The second largest remaining piece of the Berlin Wall. It was given to a guy as a birthday gift, and he leaves it right there, for some reason. The rounded top was designed to be physically impossible for a person to hurl himself over. Take that, barbed wire!

Ah, Dunkin' Donuts, how I have missed you. This chain does not exist in the state of Washington. Rumor has it that Dunkin' Donuts coffee cannot compete with Starbucks in Seattle -- it runs in people's veins -- so they pulled out of the market completely. I'm not sure if that's true, but it's another reason I don't patronize Starbucks (unless for a salted caramel hot chocolate when absolutely necessary).

Speak of the devil.

The Boston Public Library, can't you practically smell the sweet scene of literature? But as beautiful as the building is, it's the King County, Wash. library system with 22.4 million items checked out that was recently named the busiest library system in the United States. Currently, five of those are mine as I work my way through one of Gena Showalter's series. Just sayin'.

After spending the day gawking like a tourist, I felt positively Bostonian as we enjoyed a fancy Italian dinner on the North End and finished with a cannoli from Modern Pastry. Heavenly!

We were lucky enough to be joined by one of my sorority sisters, whom I hadn't seen in nine years. Thanks for coming out to join us, Kel! It was great to catch up.

As if the spa, shopping, restaurants, touring, more shopping, donuts, and resting (I ACTUALLY GOT TO REST DURING THE DAY SEVERAL TIMES!! SITTING ON THE COUCH WITH NO ONE CLIMBING ON ME!!) wasn't enough, my friend booked us on a Chocolate Walking Tour of Cambridge. Yes, the very home of Harvard. They asked me to stay and professor some classes in the fall, but I politely explained that I had previously committed to co-leading the fundraising efforts of a cooperative preschool on the other side of the country. Maybe another time.

It was my third trip to the East Coast, and as before, it struck me how different it is than other places I have lived in the country. Instead of casual Keens and cargo shorts: preppy boat shoes and collared shirts. Instead of hiking in the Cascades: weekending on the Cape. Instead of lush, towering Evergreens: those other kind of trees that are not Evergreens. I was just as captivated looking at (and listening to) the locals as I was admiring the one-if-by-land-two-if-by-sea Paul Revere church tower.

I wish I had some great epiphany to share following this very rare long weekend spent as Just Sunny, with no responsibilities to anyone but myself. It felt rather like college to me, during which time DH and I spent the better part of four years in a long-distance relationship. I could do it on my own, I had a fabulous time, it was good for me to do it -- but I was comforted knowing that at the end of it, I would be back with my honey (and now our mini-honeys as well). I am perfectly fine being Just Sunny out in the world, but I feel best being Sunny With Her Boys here in Seattle. Even if I don't like Starbucks. And hiking, if we are being truly honest. Although the trees are nice.

A crisis of confidence

2011-07-29T06:29:00.000-07:00

Last spring, I heard from one of my best friends from college that she was going through a bit of a life upheaval. Not like the "I just won $245 million in the lottery and I'm not sure weather to buy an island or have a stadium renamed after me" kind of upheaval, but the "I could use some extra support from my girlfriends" kind of upheaval. As soon as I hung up the phone with her, I dialed DH at work.

"Honey, do you think I could go out to Boston to visit my friend?" I asked in my best Adoring Wife voice. "We just got our tax refund, I could use some of it for the plane tickets."

He didn't hesitate. "Of course!" Then a brief pause. "You're taking the boys, right?"

After I finished laughing hysterically and wiped the tears from my eyes, I gently suggested maybe he could take a few days off of work. I'd only be gone for a long weekend. He agreed, and the trip was conceived.

Fast forward a few months to this past Wednesday night, the evening before my plane left. We put the kids down for bed, and suddenly I found my stomach was in knots. I was nervous, practically terrified! I tried to talk it out with DH, to figure out what was going on. He suggested maybe I was worried about how the kids would do without me, or maybe I was afraid I would miss them terribly.

Which certainly plays into it somewhat. Naturally I do miss them. I look at their grainy, blurred pictures on my dinosaur phone all the time.

But I think it's more than that.

At the airport, I was a complete idiot. You'd think it was my first time seeing big machines with wings and engines that fly in the sky like birdies. I'm staring at the departure screen, trying to find my gate. Boston... Boston... Boston... no Delta flights to Boston.

Okay, take a deep breath and look again.

No Delta flights to Boston.

OMG THERE ARE NO DELTA FLIGHTS TO BOSTON AND I'M NOT SURE WHAT'S GOING ON BUT I DO KNOW THERE ARE NO DELTA FLIGHTS TO BOSTON AND I NEED TO FIND SOMEONE TO HELP ME BECAUSE I'M SUPPOSED TO GO TO BOSTON AND THERE ARE NO! DELTA! FLIGHTS! TO! BOSTON!

I look down at my ticket to check the flight number and departure time.

To Detroit.

Because it wasn't a nonstop flight.

Which, naturally, I already knew.

I looked at the screen again, and phew! There was a Delta flight to Detroit. Praise the Lord in Heaven.

As I made my way to my gate, I passed throngs of families with little ones. Little ones carrying backpacks with their names embroidered on the back. Little ones in strollers, sucking binkies and looking as relaxed as I wished I was.

And I felt naked. What was I missing? Had my ticket, had my books, had my iPod, had my xtreme-chocolate-flavor-blasted Goldfish crackers to snack on.

What I was lacking, therefore, was three small boys and one husband.

To compensate for the feeling that I was forgetting or missing something, I developed OCD checking for my purse, which was tucked in my carry-on. I can only imagine what my row-mates thought was in my bag, as I grabbed it every 5 minutes and frantically felt around inside. I'm rather surprised that I wasn't escorted off the plane by an Air Marshal for suspicious behavior. Just goes to show you they'll let any wacko on a plane these days.

Fortunately the flights were relatively uneventful. On the first leg, I sat next to Jon Gosslin in disguise (i.e. he wasn't wearing Ed Hardy), and boy does that man TALK! He was one of those people who spouts a lot of random facts. At first, I couldn't decide if he was full of crap or if he belonged on Jeopardy. Eventually it turned out that yes, he was just full of crap. My layover was a matter of mere minutes, and I was nervous that I wouldn't make the connection, but fortunately there wasn't a problem. On the second leg of the trip, I sat next to a young man who slept the entire flight. (Wow, I can't believe I just typed "young man." Further evidence that I am, indeed, very old.) Anyway, it allowed me to finish reading Life from Scratch, written by one of my favorite bloggers ever, Melissa Ford. Devoured cover-to-cover on the trip, it was such a delicious read. (HA! Get it? It's a book about cooking, and I "devoured" it because it was "delicious." Just wanted to make sure you caught that.)

My friend picked me up at the airport (natch) and we headed out to dinner. Which was incredible. Did I mention I'm not dieting on the trip? My goal is to gain back at least 5 pounds. Hey, they'll have more SlimFast shakes at Fred Meyer when I get back. Anyway, we stuffed our faces (okay, I stuffed my face, my friend is much more civilized) and chatted about Life. I think we were able to tease out the reason that, although I expect to feel FREE and UNENCUMBERED during this trip, I feel... well, not quite that. Not yet, at least.

For the first time in years, I am somewhere that I am neither Wife nor Mother. I am just... Sunny. I am with my friend, who knew me in college as Sunny well before I got married. I am meeting her friends here, who aren't watching me wipe evidence of lunch off the faces of my children, but rather are seeing me as Sunny.

I feel... exposed.

And that scares the crap out of me.

I'm worried my clothes aren't cool enough. I'm worried I won't have anything interesting to say. I'm worried my friend will think, "Wow, you've lost a lot of yourself over the years."

And I guess on the deepest level, I'm worried that I'll agree.

I'm hoping that this trip is exactly what the doctor (now a psychiatrist, apparently) ordered. I've got three days of exploring and tasting here in Boston, then another day spent traveling home. Hopefully during that time I can really start enjoying the fact that I don't have anyone depending on me to pull their pants down so that they can pee, or cut their grilled cheese into itty bitty pieces. Hopefully during that time I can remember how it feels to just be Sunny, for better or for worse.

But, if you'll excuse me now, I need to get going. I'm going to go practice being Sunny during a massage. And mani/pedi. And shampoo and blowdry.

The things I'll do to support a friend and rediscover myself, I tell ya. It's rough.

Your daily dose of irony

2011-07-23T12:45:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've gotten a bloggy award -- for obvious reasons that we won't discuss right now. *ahem* But there are two beautiful ladies out there who saw fit to give me a couple of awards recently, undeserved as they might be, and I'm grateful!

The first award is from Strong Blonde, and while I can't speak for the "blonde" part, she is definitely strong in a multitude of ways. She's raising twins, getting in shape, and side-stepping extended family land mines (in the great mitten state, in fact). The rules of this award are simple: list 7 things about yourself and pass the award on to 7 other bloggers. Consider it done!

The seven facts:

1. Sometimes when my husband goes out of town for work, I put on his deodorant in the morning. That way I smell his scent randomly throughout the day, and I feel closer to him. So far no one has asked why I smell like I've been with a man when DH is not home. I'll let them wonder.

2. I buy parenting books because it makes me feel like a better mom. But then I don't end up reading them and I feel like a worse mom because I'd rather read the latest Jennifer Crusie than strategies for potty training. Oh well, Bean seems to have caught on to the concept anyway.

3. I have gotten teased for having a "dinosaur" cell phone. Which is not quite accurate; although my phone lacks any additional features (okay, there's a sub-par camera at least), it is relatively new, as it came free with my latest contract. After enduring some teasing from a friend, I responded, "Well, I still hear the same voices as you do when I talk on it." To which she asked incredulously, "You TALK on your phone?" Fine, I'll text, if that's what people do these days. It'll just take me about 15 minutes to respond because I don't have a keyboard. Crap.

4. I've had a couple of random gray hairs on my head for years. They never really bothered me, and I was rather self-congratulatory about my nonchalance with the whole situation. In the past month, however, I've found a ton more, and now they are starting to bother me. I'm 31 and I'm already done aging gracefully.

5. I saw a UFO when I was in high school. Driving down the road at night with friends in my home town, a big bright light flew up ahead of us in the sky, then flew away. My friend Al totally saw it too. Luckily there was no abduction or... umm... probing involved. Well, that's what we prefer to believe.

6. My car (or rather, my minivan *sob*) is always clean inside. There may be a stray SlimFast wrapper or post-it note on the console, and certainly some pebbles that hitched a ride on the kid's shoes. But overall, free from junk. I actually come from a long line of clean car lovers, I'm not sure if it's genetic or a learned trait. If I get in your car and I have to move mountains of crap to sit down, or contort my legs to get my feet on the floor, I'm not judging you, but -- wait, yes, I am judging you.

7. I recently learned that I may have a deep but completely unconscious obsession with "Full House." At one of the July 4th parties we attended, someone asked the name of my twins. When I told her, she immediately exclaimed, "Just like Jesse and Rebecca's twins on FULL HOUSE!" (I had no recollection of the names of those twins, for the record.) The good news is that the boys are 15 months old and she was the first person to say that, so hopefully it won't plague them throughout their lifetimes. The bad news is that then I also realized that Bean's initials are the same as Candace Cameron's character's name. I'm seeking therapy.

And I'm passing this award to: Jamie at Sticky Feet (Part Deux), Katie at Taking the Statistical Bullet, E at Hope in Briarrose, Stef at Eat Sleep and Run, And So it Goes at Life in the Detours, Aisha at Aisha Iqbal, and last but not least, Dana at Life Unexpected. Such wonderful women who share beautiful, thoughtful, inspiring, and *ahem* substantive words!

The second award is from the lovely Kmina, who has her hands full with a little monkey who overflows with personality (much like my Gax, I think). And he's almost ONE! Where does the time go? Sigh. But yes, she has passed on these pretty pink gems:

The rules are:
* Thank the giver. (You rock, Kmina!)
* Choose five bloggers as recipients. (I'm selecting the lovely Holly at Seriously Holly, and Alisa at The World According to Alisa, and Pufferfish at Puffer and the Baby Fishies, and Kristi at Interrupted Wanderlust, and Heather at The Donut!)
* Write seven random facts about me. (I'm going to do a list of seven of my favorite things, because I think you probably still need some time to digest the seven riveting facts from the award above.)
* And finally, let the recipients know they have the award to claim. (I'll get to it.)

So yes! Here are seven of my favorite things at the moment. I'm sorry if any of these are repeats, I'm too lazy to look back at previous Favorite Things posts.

1. Betty Crocker Warm Delights Mini Molten Chocolate Cake. You could say I have a "thing" for raw batter and dough. As far as desserts go, that's pretty much top on my list. But I'm still hanging onto my diet (about 24 pounds lost now, thank you very much!), so I do try to be as good as possible. Fortunately, this cake mix helps satisfy my craving with only 150 calories. I mix in the water and then -- yep -- eat the batter out of the bowl with a small spatula. Oh, you could also actually cook them. If you are into that sort of thing.

2. AVEENO Baby Care Products. You could also say I have a "thing" for soap products -- shampoo, body wash, hand soap, etc. I love trying new stuff, it's a small splurge that makes me feel like I'm pampering myself while I go about my normal routine. This has transferred to what I buy for the kiddos, too. And hands down, AVEENO is the best I have found. Johnsons Natural products feel very inadequate to me, but the hair and body washes (and lotions too) from AVEENO are wonderful.

3. Connoisseurs Jewelry Wipes. Now that I no longer have to fear that the twins will yank off a special necklace or rip earrings from my ears, I am able to wear real jewelry again. After sitting unused for so long, all my pieces have that cruddy stuff on them. I consulted my friends at Amazon.com and chose the jewelry wipes. They are incredible! The Mr. Clean Magic Eraser of bling. Highly recommend storing a pack in your closet.

4. DHC Rich & Moisturizing Treatment. If left to its own devices, my hair would resemble one of those round shrubs people use in landscaping the outside of their houses. Fortunately there are many products that allow me tame the mane and go out in public. I like to deep condition my hair once a week, and my Mom turned me on to this stuff. The only problem is that there aren't instructions on the tube (in English, at least), so when I first got it, I had trouble remembering where to put it. Luckily I called my mom to ask her, right before I slathered it all over my face. Now I keep it next to my shampoo, problem solved.

5. Denim pedal pushers from Black House White Market. I love these because they fit my body type perfectly; the waist feels like elastic even though it's not, allowing room for the evidence of a twin pregnancy that scoffs at my diet. They have cute embellishments that make them appropriate for any top, from a casual t-shirt to a fancy tank. They also make your rear look fabulous, as I recently noticed when reviewing some action pics I took of a new wrap for my fellow babywearing geeks. Totally, right? If I do say so myself.

6. It's a Bam Bam Diddly! CD by Father Goose. As much as possible, I try to turn off the television and turn on music. It's a daily struggle that I usually fall short on. But one of the things that helps is this CD. It's perfect for summer, it has a reggae-type feel with fun songs that the kids enjoy and that don't make me want to gouge my eyes out with a baby spoon. There are also other well-known singers featured, such as Cheryl Crow. I like to perform a little floor show for the munchkins while they eat, while they still think I'm awesome and not an embarrassment to humanity.

7. MAC Studio Finish Concealer. I have dark circles under my eyes even when I am at my most rested, it's just in my genes. You can imagine that having three small boys does nothing to help the situation. I've tried many an undereye concealer, but after finding this, I'm hooked. Best coverage, longest lasting. It is possibly the number one reason that I hear, "Well, you don't look like you have a three-year-old and twin one-year-olds!" instead of, "Oh my God, it's a ZOMBIE ATTAAAACK!"
I'd love to hear what products are rocking your world these days!

Fun on the Fourth

2011-07-04T20:23:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday, America!

Nineteen point eight

2011-06-27T19:52:00.000-07:00

When I had gestational diabetes during my twin pregnancy, everyone said, "Well, it's a tough diet to follow, but the good news is that it'll be easier to lose the baby weight!"

Which makes sense to a degree. Due to obscenely healthy eating, the weight I gained during that pregnancy was entirely in the baby-carrying region; the rest of my body was actually thinner than it had been since I got pregnant with Bean.

But what those people didn't consider, and something I knew from a previous post-partum experience, is that I gain weight while nursing. I am not one of those shiny, glowing new mamas who credits breastfeeding for helping her fit into her regular jeans a month after cutting the umbilical cord.

When I am breastfeeding, I crave carbs more than Paris Hilton craves attention. We practically had to take out a second mortgage to afford all the bread and pasta I wheeled out of Costco. What's worse, it's only the white stuff that satisfies me. Nothing brown with floating grains and nuts and crap. Shiver! And trying to nurse twins while caring for a 2-year-old (even with all the help I had) was so taxing, there was no way I was going to deny myself even one delicious, pleasurable bite. If I was sleep deprived, at least I wouldn't be hungry -- so pass that box of powdered sugar Donettes. And quickly.

I would have to breastfeed an entire day care center to burn all of those calories.

And it was tempting to try.

By the time I weaned the twins at their first birthday *sniff* I was completely fed up with my body and it was negatively affecting my mood. I was ashamed thinking about all the junk food I had inhaled in the past 12 months, and that guilt spilled into my outward appearance. I weighed the most I had in my entire life (just shy of 160 pounds at 5'5"), and almost nothing in my closet fit me anymore. I was wearing drawstring-waist pants and t-shirts every day, and not the cute maybe-I'll-strike-a-downward-facing-dog-pose-on-my-way-to-the-parking-lot matching yoga clothes that some women sport at the grocery store. I half expected Stacy and Clinton to accost me at the post office with a camera crew and a $5000 prepaid credit card. We are talking Full-On Frump, in attitude and ensemble.

I promised myself I would lose weight after I weaned the twins and didn't have to worry about keeping up my ever-questionable supply of breastmilk. (Yes, I realize I could have eaten healthier before weaning and it could have helped my supply level even more. Thanks for the tip.) The time finally arrived, and I really needed to step up to the plate. I decided to use the Wii Fit Plus to track my progress. As I stated previously, I learned from my Wii trainer that my BMI was firmly in the "overweight" category. I was 35 pounds heavier than the day I became Mrs. Sunny (almost 9 years ago) and just over 25 pounds heavier than when I got my positive home pregnancy test with Bean.

The "ideal" method of losing weight is healthy eating and exercise. With the three small and incredibly clingy children, I find the latter of those two to be nearly impossible. I purchased Zumba for the Wii to help (no babysitter needed!), but in trying to learn the steps from a two-dimensional computer image, so far I've only succeeded in flailing around like a monkey covered in fire ants. (Although it was worth the $35 for the game just to watch my husband attempt the calypso. I certainly burned a few hundred calories in uncontrollable laughter.)

So that left diet. In a perfect world, I would go to the grocery store every couple of days to buy fresh ingredients, then make myself healthy salads and sandwiches and snacks. In reality, I have approximately 45 seconds to make a meal for myself and 30 seconds to eat it before Gax is done with his food and climbs up on the tray of the high chair to hurl himself down to the ground. Strap him in? Sure, I will enjoy my lunch while he screams bloody murder and shatters every mirror in the house with high-pitch wailing.

I decided to go with the SlimFast diet, one that I used successfully to lose almost 10 pounds to fit into a dress for my brother's college graduation in 2004. I realize this is not a sustainable nutritional change, but it's easier to maintain a weight than to lose weight, and I'm fairly certain I won't be nursing twins again any time soon, so I'm hopeful that I can return to my usual non-pregnant, non-nursing diet after I shed some pounds and hover in a better weight range.

Some people have asked me how SlimFast works. I am not an expert on it by any means, nor am I a nutritionist (obvi, as my sister-in-law would say). You probably shouldn't even read beyond this paragraph. But this is how I shed some weight, and I haven't died or lost all my hair, so I'm pretty sure I'm not putting anyone in danger by posting this. Pretty sure.

SlimFast has three main categories of products: shakes, meal bars, and snack bars. You have two shakes and/or meal bars, three snack bars (or replace with a 100-calorie snack of your choosing), and a sensible dinner (around 500 calories) every day. This is what my typical day looks like:

- breakfast: chocolate shake
- mid-morning: snack bar
- lunch: meal bar
- mid-afternoon: snack bar
- dinner: sensible (I don't count calories, just try to be smart)
- dessert: eight Nilla wafers and a glass of skim milk

I don't stick to this diet every day, all day. But pretty close. I tend to follow it exactly for a few days in a row, then (often on weekends) I'll cheat a little bit with a "regular" lunch and/or snacks. One of the great side-effects of the diet is that your stomach grows accustom to smaller portions, so even on my cheater days, I'm not gorging myself by any means. And while the outline above may sound boring, the shakes and meal bars are actually really tasty and don't leave me craving sweets. My favorites are the Creamy Milk Chocolate shake, Chocolate Fudge Brownie meal bars, and Double-Dutch Chocolate snack bars. The Peanut Butter Crunch Time snack bars actually taste like a Butterfinger.

I also often get asked: "Do you get hungry during the day?" And the answer is... well, yeah, sometimes. But it's less as the diet progresses, and since I'm still eating every few hours, my blood sugar stays relatively stable so I don't have those crashes that make me so grumpy I want to hurl furniture through the windows when the twins dump their milk onto their trays, cover the soggy food in it, and then splash it all over themselves, the walls, and the dog. Again. Grrrrrrrr.

But I'm not starving by any means. Plus, the way I figure it, the times that I'm hungry are the times that the diet is really working. I visualize myself shrinking.

So when I first stepped on the Wii Fit scale and got the news that I was overweight, my eager virtual trainer asked me what my goal was. I decided 20 pounds would be a good starting point. Ambitious, but not unattainable.

After two months and one week on the diet, cheering along the way as the Wii Fit reflected my melting pounds and return to the "normal" weight category, I stepped on the scale last Wednesday for what I anticipated to be the achievement of my first weight loss goal.

My heart fluttered as the Wii trainer narrated: "Measuring... Measuring..."

And the results? Drumroll please: 19.8 pounds lost overall. "You're steadily approaching your goal!" he told me, as he has every other time.

The damn Wii doesn't round, apparently.

Sigh.

Well, I don't officially count it as 20 pounds, but it's close enough that I went off the diet for a few days to catch my breath and gear up for the next round.

At this point, I feel wonderful. I still struggle with my tummy -- every extra pound on my frame is centered there, and combined with a full-term twin pregnancy (of ginormous babies for a multiple pregnancy, I might add), my flabby stomach reaches almost to my knees and does not lend itself to fitted shirts. But I fit into a lot more of my clothes and don't feel the need to hide behind my Where's Waldo "Dude, I'm right here!" t-shirt all the time. (Although I do still wear it on occasion, because come on, it's funny.) I also feel empowered that I was able to set a goal for myself and achieve it, one that is a bit loftier than "keep all three children alive all day long."

I am hoping to lose another 5-10 pounds. I have a trip to Boston planned in one month (by myself! alone! to visit a great friend I haven't seen in 8 years!) and I'm hoping my stomach will be slightly less flabby by then, maybe mid-thigh level.

I think this diet works for me because I:

- am motivated to lose weight
- lack self-control with food portions
- have very little time to prep and eat meals
- love chocolate
- am a lazy cook
- have no patience for slow weight loss

If the above describe you as well, SlimFast may be a good fit for you, too. At the very least, try those snack bars that taste like Butterfinger. Yum!

Happy Father's Day

2011-06-19T18:08:00.000-07:00

It's a bird, it's a plane

2011-06-15T19:56:00.000-07:00

GAH! I can't believe it's been more than two weeks since I posted. But this time, I have an iron-clad excuse for my absence. (If feeding, diapering, and chasing three small tornados until I collapse doesn't cut it for you. Man, you are tough!) DH's mom, dad, sister, and grandma stayed with us for about a week. In fact, my mother-in-law is still here, staying until the 23rd to help me out with the kidlets while my parents are in Michigan for 10 days for my cousin's wedding. (CONGRATS NEIL AND AMANDA!) Anyway, we've kept our visitors busy with hiking, playing games, visiting Pike Place Market, stroller skating, bouncing in inflatable houses, and trekking to Mt. Rainier, among other things. I grabbed some shots from my mother-in-law's camera, I'll post my own pictures later.

Oh, and in the Mt. Rainier pics, you'll notice a caped crusader -- our very own SuperBean. An incredibly fabulous (and talented!) friend and former coworker of mine opened an Etsy shop called Sweet Baby, and we scored some awesome goodies. I highly recommend you check her out!

Turning Corners

2011-05-31T15:52:00.000-07:00

This is one of those posts that I am always fearful to write -- as if the act of publishing the words will somehow annoy the Fates and my good fortune will be revoked. Not that I believe the Fates are regular visitors on my humble blog, of course, but in a moment of boredom they might google "is it ever sunny in Seattle" and inadvertently stumble across my blog (as lots of people do, according to my blog stats) (the answer to that question, by the way, is "apparently not anymore") and they'll read this entry and say, "Holy crap, how did this happen?" And then they'll send lightning bolts down at me or whatever it is they do exactly to keep human arrogance in check.

But throwing caution to the wind, I will say: I think things are starting to get easier around here. The key to that sentence, of course, being easiER. I still steal constant glances at the clock when I am alone with all three boys, counting the minutes until my back-up arrives. And I had to call my Dad to come over yesterday morning while DH was at work, because at just 8 am I knew it was going to be one of "those days," a day that I would face better if I could at least brush my teeth (which required a second adult if it was going to happen without two small sobbing toddlers clawing at each of my legs while a young preschooler yelled with decreasing patience for his mommy to make him a batch of cinnamon rolls for breakfast.

But yes, easiER.

Part of that is natural maturation. (Of the kids, of course. Fortunately I don't get any older. Ever. I'm talking to you, rapidly reproducing gray hairs!) The twins are nearly 14 months old now, and their attention span with toys has increased from 4 seconds to 40 seconds, which affords me the luxury of sneaking into the laundry room to toss in a load of clothes before they 1) realize I left the room and 2) crawl/walk into the laundry room to derail my effort to actually make this house function properly.

But the biggest reason I suspect that raising the boys feels easiER these days is that we are all sleeping. Ah, blessed and beloved sleep. How I missed thee! I still have some remorse that I "forced" (if you will) the twins to wean at 12 months old instead of letting them self-wean like Bean did. I will say, though, that my life overall is significantly improved (yep, I'm saying it!) since I am no longer breastfeeding the twins. Mainly due to the restricted calorie diet I can now follow, which is rocking my socks off (14 pounds lost, fitting into some of my smaller clothes and feeling great), and the fact that the twins almost instantly started sleeping 12 straight hours when they could fill up on all the milk they wanted during the day (not limited by my perpetually lackluster supply) and when they realized there would be no nursing for comfort overnight -- just a groggy mommy or daddy with a bottle of milk. So even though there are new challenges as the twins get older and more mobile, to me it is easier to childproof the entire house than it is to be an effective parent when you are only getting 2 hours of sleep at a time. Actually, forget effective parent -- effective person. I couldn't find my bathrobe once for about four days, I was certain that aliens abducted it because there was no! possible! place! in the house where it could be. Eventually found it hanging on the opposite side of the closet door. This from the person who, six years ago, earned the highest score in my graduating class when taking the exit exam for my master's degree. I've been at the top of my game, and I've been at the bottom of my game; now with luck I can settle somewhere in the middle.

(I would like to mention here, though, that although the first year of the parenting twins passed with me in a lingering, robe-losing fog, it was still fantastic and I consider it one of the greatest gifts of my life that I was able to be present for all of it. Physically present, at least, if not completely on a mental level. It was both more difficult and more rewarding than I could have imagined.)

And speaking of turning corners, our dear Bean seems to be making his own strides. The parent educator at our co-op preschool explained that children tend to go in 6-month cycles of being more... challenging and then more stable and easygoing. I dare say we are entering the phase of stability. Bean has finally embraced his role at Big Brother, we are hearing less whining about the twins and seeing more kindness and sharing. Although, Bean will frequently tell on them, such as this morning when he was quite upset to report to me (with a stern frown): "MOM! Gax told me that I did not eat breakfast this morning. But I did, Mom, I ate my waffle for breakfast. Even though Gax said that I did not eat anything." As a parent I strive to stay neutral, but I will say it's an unexpected challenge not to take sides in a verbal disagreement when one child cannot talk. But Bean really is a fabulous kid, and I'm glad that he seems to be more at peace right now after a rather extended period of change.

Yes, overall life at Casa de Sunny is moving in a positive direction. My house is still a disaster, I don't have the time or energy to cook a decent meal, and sometimes I have to fight the urge to lock the kids in their rooms and drink margaritas until I pass out. (Which wouldn't take long, considering I've been pregnant and/or nursing from June 2007 until only recently.) But we find ways to have fun and stay sane, and I have known the whereabouts of my bath robe for the past 4 months. Welcome to the new normal!

And just so you aren't disappointed, pictures.

And last but not least... Happy Memorial Day. Thank you Troops!

(Okay, I'm a day late, I started this post yesterday. Sorry!)

Wordless Tuesday

2011-05-17T15:40:00.000-07:00

Because sometimes, the hardest thing is to know when your words do more harm than good.

Feast

2011-05-03T13:20:00.000-07:00

Before we get to the really good stuff -- the photos -- a few updates. We've had some big things happening around here! To start, our dear Gax is officially walking. He still prefers crawling, but he's taking steps across longer and longer distances. Of course it's a double-edged sword, because now he can get into more things. But we are pretty well baby-proofed around here, and if he can entertain himself by walking around, I don't mind the extra clean-up later. I just wish Nix would start walking soon too. Poor kid spends a lot of the day crying because he can't get where he wants to go. Of course he can't crawl (yes, STILL), so that makes a difference. Nix is physically able to walk, and he will take steps unassisted if we trick him into it. But he doesn't have the confidence to do it unprompted. Much like his older brother Bean, actually. Let's hope we don't have to wait until he's 15.5 months!

Also, at nearly 13 months old now, the twins are transitioning down to one nap a day. Like walking, this is a blessing and a curse. It completely disrupts my morning get-ready-for-the-day routine, because I can't count on them taking a nap around 9:45 am. But I think it's helping them sleep longer at night, and now this summer we can actually get outside and enjoy morning activities that start at 10 am. And by "enjoy," I mean my Mom and I frantically and desperately chasing the three children, trying to keep them contained yet happy. It'll be awesome!

For my own news, my diet is absolutely rocking. I just adore SlimFast, I can't even tell you. I've lost 10 pounds now, and my Wii Fit tells me that I am no longer in the "overweight" category as my BMI dropped below 25. If Nintendo decrees it, it must be true! I still have a ways to go, I'd like to lose at least 15 more. But I'm fitting into more of my clothes, looking better, and feeling better both physically and emotionally. Bring on the fudge bars and chocolate shakes!

I hope you don't mind it's either feast or famine with the pictures. I tend to dump them all at once, and I don't have time to add captions to all of them. Topics include: hiking, Great-Grandparents' visit, Nix and Gax's first birthday, Easter, eating, making art, and general cuteness. Enjoy!

Drive-by blogging

2011-04-19T13:36:00.000-07:00

The past months have been busy, and my posting has been spotty at best. I'm hoping that someday soon, I will be able to resume regular ~~and interesting~~ blogging. I am getting more sleep, in fact, so my ability to form full sentences is slowly returning. In the meantime, here's a quick check-in about life overall in Casa de Sunny.

Celebrating. Yes, we are now into our second year of having twins, and our three-under-three has turned into three-under-four. Nix and Gax's birthday party was small but lovely, and I will be posting a bunch of pictures at my earliest opportunity. And for those who are curious, their one-year check-up with the pediatrician went well. Nix is 30 inches tall (75th percentile) and 21 lbs 12 oz (40th percentile), while Gax is 29.25 inches tall (50th percentile) and 20 lbs 8 oz (25th percentile). Now that their first birthday is past, I am having trouble letting go of the thought that after a full year of raising twins, I should have my life back in order. Which then brings shame and guilt, because even at best it's in the neighborhood of controlled chaos. A lot of things are easier now, for sure. Their nap schedules are flexible but reliable, for example. But we still have three small and mobile munchkins who have c.o.n.s.t.a.n.t. needs. There's no setting one down to care for someone else -- they can follow you now and hang on to your leg, immobilizing you while you have the another kiddo (or two!) in your arms. My saving grace is my parents; I don't know what I'd do without them, and even thinking about it makes me sobby. The boys absolutely adore them, and I appreciate them more than I could ever express. Can I get a cheer for awesome life-saving grandparents everywhere?

Weaning. Disproving my theory that absolutely everything has to be as difficult as possible, the twins weaned from nursing to sippy cups in about two weeks around their birthdays. On the down side, my cup size once again resembles the report card of your high school valedictorian. On the up side, I'm freeeeeeeeeee! As soon as my Mom and I can escape to the mall, I'm heading right to ~~the training bra section at Macy's~~ Victoria's Secret to buy a little gift for the girls for nursing twins for a year. I am a little wistful that I couldn't nurse them longer (Bean self-weaned at 18 months), but honestly, I was pretty burned out after 12 months with two babies. It kinda counts as 24 months, right?

Sleeping. One of the best outcomes of weaning the twins is that they now sleep better at night. Nix only wakes when he loses his binky. (And no, littering his crib with pacifiers does not help, as he is inexplicably still unlikely to find one on his own even in a Binky Utopia.) Gax will fuss at times, but as he quickly learned that he will just get groggy snuggles instead of comfort nursing (sorry my love!), he will put himself back to sleep. The two biggest offenders of night waking now are Bean, who suffers from the occasional nightmare or night terror, and the dog, who prefers the brisk midnight air and privacy of darkness when she wants to take a dump. Overall, though, I have been upgraded from the walking dead to the typical worn-out mommy. Still looking for ways to get Gax to sleep past 6 am, though. No matter what time he goes to bed, he's ready to get the day started bright and early. Never wants to miss a thing, that kid, day or night. And lord knows there's exciting stuff happening around here, like cooking waffles in the toaster oven and every now and again, if you pay careful attention, you can catch Grandma vacuuming a rug. Thrilling!

Hosting. My grandparents visited us for a week to celebrate the twins' birthdays with us. It was so fabulous having them here. The kiddos took to them immediately, and I was proud of how they both jumped into our hectic schedule without missing a beat. It means a lot that my children get to spend time with their great-grandparents, I only wish it was more frequently. They put us to shame in the amount of energy they brought to handling these three creatures who pretty much level us to exhausted blobs by the time they are in bed for the night. I can only hope to have that level of endurance in 50 years. Heck, I can only hope to have that level of endurance tomorrow.

Convalescing. It's been a tough winter (and now spring, so far) for illnesses in our house, one thing after another. Mostly tough colds, but recently Bean had a sustained fever as well. We just keep riding them out and crossing our fingers that we'll get a break soon. With the twins, however, I've been concerned about how much antibiotics they have been taking for ear infections. We have been considering ear tubes for them, but the specialist is advising us to hold off and see how they do in the summer when colds and infections are less common. The main risk of tubes is the anaesthesia, as the boys will have to be put under for about 10 minutes. "There is never a zero risk," the pediatric ENT explained to us, "but you are more likely to get in an accident in your car." To which DH insightfully pointed out, "So then there's the added risk of driving to the hospital for the procedure." I thought it was funny, but I think the doctor is hoping we choose not to get tubes, as even the income won't be worth spending additional time with us.

Adjusting. While the twins are getting bigger and more ~~destructive~~ active, sweet Bean continues to struggle to get used to these two short people who want nothing more than to be near him and "help" him play with his toys. It's hard on him, and I do feel bad for him that he has to deal with two little siblings at the same time when most kids get to adjust to one at a time. But obviously that doesn't excuse acts of retaliation when Nix knocks over his blocks or Gax dares to breath air in the same room as Bean. It's up and down, we'll have a bad day of Bean acting out followed by some calm when the mere existence of his brothers doesn't elicit a 3-hour whine session. When he's not busy protecting his property from the twins (and "his property" includes everything in the entire house), Bean is busy being his usual brilliant, funny, adorable, helpful self. When he's being good, it doesn't get any better than Bean. I think the three of them will have a lot of fun when the twins are old enough to start some real trouble around here -- I'm clinging to that notion, anyway!

Renovating. Worthy of a brief mention... no more linoleum in our kitchen. As I type this, the floor in our kitchen and pantry/mudroom/laundry room is being replaced with the same pretty laminate wood that we put in our family room and living room. They've really come a long way with the processed stuff, it looks great and is so durable. We also had the pantry painted a yummy goldy yellow color, much happier and still coordinates with all the Chef Boyardee cans and Mac and Cheese boxes stored in there. Before and after shots coming when it's finished.

Losing. According to my Wii Fit Plus trainer, my BMI places me in the "overweight" category, my body performs as if I'm in my early 40s, and my poor balance indicates that I probably walk into walls a lot (which I do). I allowed myself to scarf carb after carb while nursing with the promise that I would lose some weight after the twins weaned, and now it's time to pay the piper. I started on the SlimFast diet last Wednesday, and so far I have lost about 2.5 pounds. I have been on two diets previously in my life: SlimFast when I was 24 to fit into a dress for my brother's college graduation, and Gestational Diabetes diet when I was pregnant with the twins. The diabetes diet is far more healthy, but SlimFast is faster, easier, and doesn't require the threat of harm to unborn babies to keep me from ditching it in favor of a bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Because in fact, I am enjoying my lunch of a "Chocolate Peanut Caramel" bar as I type this. I know carrying over 14 pounds of baby in my stomach has destroyed my body beyond repair, but I'm hoping to at least fit into my closet full of size 8 jeans again someday. That's not too much to ask, is it? And until they come out with a SlimInstant diet, this is the best I can do.

WE DID IT!

2011-04-09T21:08:00.000-07:00

To my sweet Nixy Noo and Gaxy Goo... congratulations on you first birthday. I couldn't be more proud to be your mama. You have turned our world upside down, and you amaze us every single day. I can hardly even imagine what the years will bring us, but I know there will be a lot of fun and laughter involved. And hopefully a bit more sleep. Yeah, I could do with a bit more sleep.

Nix is very precise as he eats his pizza.

Gax prefers the demolition approach to mealtime.

(More pictures and updates coming soon, because speaking of sleep...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...)

And you thought eating just one Lay's potato chip was hard

2011-03-22T15:34:00.000-07:00

We are about two weeks away from the twins' first birthday, and I don't want to be premature on calling this, but it appears as though we will all actually live to see that day. I have been fortunate to read a lot of insightful posts reflecting on lessons learned about raising twins through the first 12 months of life. This will not be one of those posts. Instead, I created a list in the hopes of normalizing what new twin mommies are going through, and giving the rest of the world a glimpse into this challenge.

So here it is: Ten things that are easier than surviving the first year of parenting multiples.

1. Earning 100% on every quiz, test, and paper in an advanced college organic chemistry class.

2. Finding the perfect birthday gift for your sister/BFF/mother/grandma who already has everything and has returned every present you bought her for the past 10 years.

3. Becoming fluent in Kamassian, an extinct language of Russia whose last native speaker died in 1989.

4. Painting your toenails and fingernails, with accuracy, while sitting in complete darkness next to a humming bee's nest.

5. Losing the last 20 10 pounds of baby weight.

6. Convincing your 3-year-old that he doesn't really want to watch Little Einsteins for the umpteenth time, but would instead be happier catching the latest episode of What Not To Wear.

7. Identifying all symbolic objects and allegorical relationships in the book "Lord of the Flies" without buying Cliffs Notes or consulting Wikipedia.

8. Fitting into your skinny jeans, when you have your period and just polished off an entire can of Pringles (washed down with some Coke and a bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups).

9. Composing a blog post, with actual sentences that make actual sense, when you've had 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep only a handful of times in the past year.

10. Finding true and everlasting love as a contestant on The Bachelor.

And because it's easier than writing actual sentences that make actual sense, now some photos.

The best three years that have ever kicked my butt

2011-03-06T21:07:00.000-08:00

I can think of no better way to jump back into blogging after an inadvertent dry spell than to celebrate the birthday of my dear sweet Bean. Yesterday he turned three, and it was unexpectedly very emotional for me -- much harder than two, or even one. He has officially graduated from "toddler" to "preschooler," creeping dangerously closer to being "school age" when he will head to kindergarten with a Spiderman backpack, freshly sharpened Number 2 pencils, and a cell phone with a Cee Lo Green ringback tone. *sigh* They grow up so fast.

In the meantime, though, I am enjoying the fleeting moments when our home and family is still the center of his world. Bean is such a bright child, a thoughtful child, a careful child. He is creative, inquisitive, funny, and snuggly. The past year hasn't been easy for him, with me on bedrest and then welcoming two infant brothers into the family. He struggles with Nix and Gax at times, as they require a lot of attention and have now taken a decided interest in Bean and anything he is doing. But Bean will also comfort them when they cry, share his toys (when he feels like it), feed them tiny bits of his dinner, and make silly noises that make them giggle. We do our best to show Bean that he is still special and still valued; I can only hope the message is received.

Bean's favorite activities these days are playing with Thomas the Train and cars, drawing pictures, cooking, asking "Why?", avoiding his brothers, listening to music, doing puzzles with Bumpa, taking baths, begging for treats, cuddling with Mom or Grandma, building towers with Legos, playing Mario Kart with his Dad, refusing to go potty on the toilet, playing with playdough, and watching television (especially Little Einsteins, Super Why, and Cat in the Hat) and movies (Cars and Toy Story are favorites). He is currently a picky eater, although he seems to be getting more open-minded again. His favorite foods are cinnamon waffles, pancakes with chocolate chips, mac and cheese, spaghetti, quesadillas with salsa, grilled cheese, strawberry smoothies, "skinny noods" (i.e. skinny noodles, or raw angelhair pasta), Chicken McNuggets, fries, fruit snacks, and ice cream. Obviously, he has good taste, just like his mama. Except he's still in the stage when weight gain is a GOOD thing. Until you find yourself on the Maury Povich Show as the 250 pound 4-year-old who smokes two packs of cigarettes a day. Or wait, I'm mixing up my episodes. Nevermind.

I am so grateful that Bean is my son. I was happy with my life before he was born -- married to my soulmate, pursuing a career that I loved, and sleeping. (Oh the sleeping!) But becoming a mother has given me a deep sense of peace and contentment that I never could have imagined. Which is saying a lot in this household these days. But back to Bean, this post belongs to him. Happy birthday, my amazing boy. I wish you a lifetime of happiness. And know that I will be here for you every step of the way, with fruit snacks and cuddles whenever you need them.

I've jotted down a few Beanisms, as I always enjoy reading these on other mommy blogs (especially Alana's!). It's better when said in his tiny, sweet, high little voice, but this will have to do!

ON LOGIC

Me (trying to prepare him for ditching his nap/night binky on his birthday): Bean, when we turn three years old, we don't use a binky anymore.

Bean (with a bright smile): No, silly mommy. I'm turning three and I have a binky every day!

ON KEEPING IN TOUCH

Me: Honey, are you ready to go downstairs with me?

Bean (looking over at me from the computer area): No, I'm going to stay up here and do emails.

ON GIFT GIVING

Bean (while getting on his PJs for bed): Daddy, what do you want for Christmas next year?

DH: I'm not sure. I got everything I wanted this year.

Bean (passes gas and grins goofily): Do you want my farts for Christmas?

ON ROLE MODELS

Bumpa: Bean, your little brothers really look up to you.

Bean (considering this, with furrowed brow): Yeah, and they look up to the ceiling, too.

ON SPELLING

Bean (looking at name tags on a table at preschool): Mommy, which one is mine?

Me (picking up his tag, which is decorated with animal stickers): Here it is, sweetie.

Bean (looks at the letters carefully): Mom, my name starts with "Cow"?

ON FASHION

Bean (from the back seat of my mom's car): Grandma, where did you get that coat?

Grandma: Oh, do you like it?

Bean: Grandma, I just asked where you got it.

ON SKILLS AND ABILITIES
Bean (walking to my mom's car): Grandma, can we listen to "Mumford and Sons" in your car?

Grandma: I'm sorry, honey, I don't have "Mumford and Sons" in my car. Maybe you can make me a CD.

Bean: Grandma, I'm just a kid. I can't make a CD.

And finally, some pictures of his big day.

DH and I got him a Batman tricycle. As soon as summer arrives in Seattle and it stops raining, he can ride it around the neighborhood. Those will be a fun four days.

Grandma and Bumpa came over and brought more gifts, including Gordon the Train. He's the same color as Thomas, but he's longer. So naturally we need both.

Here is a picture of me and DH and Bean. Are you shocked, to be getting such a gift?! I bet you think it's your birthday too. But it's not.

We had a birthday party for him at the local kids' gym where he attends class once a week with his Dad. It was an absolute blast, and a stress-free party for me. No cleaning, no entertaining, no serving. I still managed to forget drinks for everyone, because I am talented like that, but as no one collapsed from dehydration, I'm going to call it a success.

My reward for the day: his smile!

I'm proven right, for once

2011-02-11T00:30:00.000-08:00

Today I turn 31.

Part of me is a little sad, I'm having Round Two of mourning the lack of celebration that occurred on my 30th birthday. Not allowed to sit up while on bedrest, permitted only a small piece of cake due to my gestational diabetes. Because you know what? I was really, really looking forward to turning 30, and I wanted to do something special. I've always said that my 30s were going to be My Decade. The 20s had their high points, but they were mostly marked by going to school and struggling to conceive. Ugh and double ugh. I mean, I did overcome both of those things -- I am exceptionally brilliant and I have more children than you can shake a stick at (believe me, I've tried). But still.

As I detailed in my birthday post last year, I had very specific plans for my 20s that didn't turn out like I had expected. My plan for my 30s, though, was to enjoy the spoils that I worked so hard for in the previous decade.

A couple of days ago, while driving the twins to our co-op preschool, one of my favorite songs came on the radio: "Long December" by Counting Crows. It's beautiful and emotional, filled with regret and loss and tempered hope. Or as my Dad would call it, a "whiny song." As soon as I heard it, I turned it up.

But you know... I just didn't feel it. My life is missing the deep angst, the unfulfilled longing that I used to have, which served as a connection to the lyrics. My hope has come true. I still have dreams for myself in the future, but right now, at this very moment, I feel like I am in the right place. I am madly in love with my husband. I am having a blast raising my children (when I don't feel like making a mad dash to Canada). My wonderful parents are present in our lives. This is a temporary time in my life, and it comes with many struggles, but overall it's glorious.

It's my 30s.

And the verdict after one year: it's all that I had wanted, and more.

Happy birthday to me.

This year? I'm eating the whole damn cake.

Because nothing puts you in the mood for cheesecake like talking about your uterus

2011-01-27T19:58:00.000-08:00

As I'm sure you can imagine, I enjoy getting out of the house without my children. The other day when I sustained a Random and Bizarre Finger Injury that required me to go to the urgent care clinic (yes, that is the second Random and Bizarre Finger Injury I've sustained since the twins were born, in case anyone is keeping track), I eagerly grabbed my book and a water bottle for an enjoyable two hours spent not responding to the constant needs of three men-in-training. All the better when getting out of the house doesn't involve sharp and excruciating pain, such as our recent Seattle Bloggers' Night Out. It was a smashing success, and I really enjoyed chatting with Katie and Jenn and Kendra while wolfing down a fancy dinner and dessert. There was also an Anonymous Blogger who attended, but I will not share her name, as obviously she is embarrassed to admit being seen in public with me (or so I deduce is her reason for staying behind the curtain). Naturally, I don't hold this against her.  Anyway, all four of them are inspiring, fabulous women and I am lucky to have met them.

We had such a great time that ~~I begged them~~ we agreed to do it again in the spring. Stay tuned for more details!

To segue into a topic that's been on my mind, I wanted to share a question that Anonymous Blogger asked me over cheesecake that has stuck in my mind. (Much like said cheesecake has stuck in my thighs.) While the rest of us are parenting after infertility, Anonymous Blogger is now embarking on her first IVF cycle. After listening to me complain about how much harder it is to have twinfants than a singleton (do I ever talk about anything else, good lord!), she turned to me and said, "So how much should I push [my husband and doctor] to transfer one embryo instead of two?" (Two being the standard number of embryos transferred during an IVF cycle, which contributes to the high incidence of twins resulting from the process.)

I was sort of tongue-tied by that question, and I did my best to answer, although I'm sure it wasn't helpful at all. For me, this question of TO TWINS or NOT TO TWINS (as much as it's a choice) ties into the two extreme categories of responses I get when someone finds out that I am a mother of multiples.

Response one: "Oh my God. I would have killed myself if I found out I was having twins." (Yes, someone actually said this to me.)

Response two: "Oh, lucky you! I always wanted twins! I think it would be SO. MUCH. FUN."

Like many unexpected turns that life takes, you can't categorize having twins as entirely good or entirely bad -- but people's reactions always seem to fall squarely on one side or the other. I'm not sure I'm giving the balanced view on my blog, as I do seem to continually mention the high stress of having three under three. And truly, it has been difficult. Difficult to get pregnant, difficult to stay pregnant, and difficult to parent two newborns. Another multiple mama blogger (I believe it was Jamie) said it best: two infants need two mothers. Plain and simple.

Now that we have hit 9 months, the twins seem to have settled into a decent sleeping pattern, and life has gotten easier. (Two naps each at approximately the same time, and 1-2 night wakings.) It's only RELATIVELY easier, of course. I'm still ready for a shot of hard liquor by ~~8 am~~ 4 pm.  But in all seriousness, my feelings on having twins has completely changed since I saw two blobs on the ultrasound monitor and muttered a swear word.

Having twins is a.m.a.z.i.n.g. It's a shite-load of work, no doubt. It means a lot of sacrifices all around. But the reward is that I have two human beings to love more than life itself. They make me laugh constantly -- they are each such a gift. And now that they are noticing each other and interacting more?  I can practically feel my heart squeeze with joy as they "play" together. It blows my mind to watch them develop so differently, despite their similar beginnings. They shared a womb, now they share an infancy... I'm not sure if they'll be friends as they grow up, but I hope so. I hope they play together and support each other. I imagine Gax standing up for Nix on the playground, and later Nix comforting Gax when a girl breaks his heart. God willing, they will travel through life knowing that they have a twin in the world who will always be there if needed.

The main reason that I would recommend a single embryo transfer during IVF is because the pregnancy is more dangerous for mama and babies. Too dangerous to consider? No, certainly not in a healthy woman. Most mamas and most babies are just fine. But without a doubt, it's harder on your body and it's harder on your kids. Your risk of dangers like gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia, preterm labor, and stretch marks (GOOD GOD THE STRETCH MARKS!) increases. If you thought you had to take care of yourself when pregnant with one baby, it's even more vital with two. I ate salad and whole grain bread for lunch, people. SALAD AND WHOLE GRAIN BREAD! With not so much as a giant brownie to wash it down. I mentioned the sacrifices, right?

So I'm not really sure where I was going with all this. Another side effect of having twins is double mommy brain caused by double sleep deprivation. Not having done IVF before, I can't really advise on a single embryo transfer versus a double. Transferring two is the norm because IVF is such a gruelling, expensive endeavor. Doctors and hopeful couples want to maximize the chance of success while minimizing the occurrence of multiples, and two embryos is generally a good number for that. If you can achieve a singleton pregnancy, that's the ideal. But if you do end up knocked up with twins, please take care of yourself. When you make it to the parenting stage, it will be difficult, but the rewards are so indescribably beautiful that you wouldn't have it any other way.

I know I wouldn't.

In and out

2011-01-19T21:44:00.000-08:00

We've reached a milestone that seems worth noting somehow but I'm not exactly sure why: the twins have now been living outside the womb longer than they bunked in it.

It feels like a decade ago that we brought them home from the hospital. And definitely ancient history when I called DH at work, a home pregnancy test gripped in my shaking hand, and told him, "I need you to come home as soon as possible. I think there is a faint line. There's a possibility we might be pregnant." (Surrounded by coworkers and unable to react, DH paused and asked, "This is how you chose to tell me?" I guess he wanted to come home to congratulations balloons or perhaps Bean wearing one of those "I'm Going to be a Big Brother" onesies. Men and their high expectations!)

Anyway, it's just like they say -- the days feel long, but the years pass quickly. (They do say that, right? I know I didn't come up with it.) I can't believe the next milestone we'll be noting for the twins is their FIRST BIRTHDAY. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. We still have three months to survive first.

So just a quick update, as we are about to watch "White Collar" and I want to pay full attention because the main character is... slightly good looking.

Characters welcome, indeed.

Anyway, here's the quick and dirty:

Nix is 29 inches tall (75th percentile) and weighs 19 lbs 13 oz (40th percentile). He's a good sleeper and a good eater, especially fruits and anything made by his dad. He is anxious to crawl like Gax, so he tries to "spring" out of a sitting position -- but he abhors being on his stomach and cries when he immediately realizes this is necessary for that particular method of travel. His current obsession is lights, he points at them constantly and looks up at them with complete fascination. Nix still lives up to the moniker bestowed by my dad very early in Nix's young life: our little bag of sugar. The kid is such a sweetie, it's almost unbearable sometimes.

Gax is 28 1/4 inches tall (50th percentile) and weighs 19 lbs 9 oz (30th percentile). Gax is the busiest person I have ever met in my entire life. He prefers veggies and eats a ton, as I would imagine is necessary when you burn 1000 calories every half hour. He's up, he's down, he's here, he's there. Gax has been sleeping a bit better -- naps are longer and occur at roughly the same time every day. He still wakes up twice a night to eat, and then he likes to get a jump start on the day at 6 am. One of my favorite things about Gax? He is head over heels in love with his mama. And the feeling is mutual.

I need to write more about what Bean is up to these days, but I'll do that later. Poor kiddo has to share everything with his brothers, I'll give him his own post. After I finally share my Chaos-Level Theory of Family Building, as promised!

And don't forget, it's not too late to join me and Katie and Jen for a fun night out, this Saturday! You can RSVP via our web site. Even if you find us dull and inane, there will be cheesecake. Mmmmm.

And last but not least... pictures. It took me forever to upload all of these (is it just me, or did Blogger take away the ability to select multiple files at once?) and I don't have time to add captions. So you'll just have to imagine my witty remarks as you browse.

Balance

2011-01-09T21:28:00.000-08:00

I don't make New Year's Resolutions. Maybe it's my "naturally defiant" streak (as DH calls it), but if I feel too much pressure to do something, I am less likely to do it. One of my friends said she has never heard me swear more than when I gave it up for Lent years ago. And besides, if I really need to feel inadequate about something, I have plenty of other benchmarks I could use to measure my shortcomings. Hello, pre-twin-pregnancy clothes hanging unworn in my closet! Yes, I do miss having a waist, thanks for asking.

But as this new year begins, I feel something missing in my life that I'd like to reclaim, even though I know it's going to be a long road. Let's not call it a resolution... let's call it a theme. Like "Under the Sea" or "'80s Flashback."

I want -- no, desperately need -- more b a l a n c e.

No, not the balance that would keep me from bumping into walls so often. I don't really know why it tends to happen, and as long as DH doesn't see me do it and try unsuccessfully to stifle a chuckle, it doesn't really bother me too much. I'm not a Rockette, the bruises hide easily enough.

But what I seek is the kind of balance that involves reducing some portion of my focus that is spent on my children (currently 99.9%) and move it back to anything else whatsoever (currently .1%). The year 2010 was entirely devoted to the kids, and mostly the twins at that. Starting on January 4, I spent three months on complete bedrest, living almost every second on my back to keep them healthy. I thank God constantly that that was all it took to arrive at two enormous and healthy boys, but still... it wasn't exactly like reclining on a lounge chair by the pool. And then the next nine months I struggled to care for twinfants plus a toddler. Again, I feel so entirely blessed and love each of them to my absolute core. But that doesn't negate the exhaustion that comes from month after month of frequent night wakings and meeting the ceaseless demands of three small people, even with my super-stellar support system.

I just feel spent. There is little, if anything, left in my personal reserve. I don't mean to sound like a martyr, but last year I sacrificed a lot of myself to care of other people, and I rarely get to take care of myself.

You know, like a martyr.

I subscribe to the theory that when you are a mother, you need to take care of yourself first, your marriage second, and your kids third. Just like when you are on an airplane and there's a loss of cabin pressure, you need to put your own oxygen mask first before assisting those around you. Not to compare motherhood to an aircraft spiraling dangerously out of the sky... but the kidlets did wake me up literally SIX times on Friday night, so yeah, sometimes it does seem that way. Anyway, I just mean that if you are an emotional wreck, and your marriage is in turmoil, the kids are going to suffer. It's okay -- actually, it's necessary and good -- to make sure you are taking the time and energy to keep yourself sane and your relationship with your partner solid. Your kids will benefit not only while they are growing up, but hopefully into adulthood as they start their own families.

But it's easy to pay lip service to the idea of having balance. With two infants and a two year old at home, I'm finding it nearly impossible to actually do it. It is really, really hard for me to leave home during the day right now, because I am trying to maintain the sanctity of nap time for all three of the kids. Dragging both twins out when they are tired in order to participate in an activity for Bean is a recipe for a gigantic family meltdown of epic proportions. When Bean was the twins' age, we would bop all over town in between his snoozes, and I loved connecting with other moms wherever we went. I was energized and honestly the happiest I've been in my life. But now, I find myself retreating into my computer to find any sort of link to the outside world, which isn't really the best thing and doesn't add much to my depleted reserves.

I would love to do something for myself, like hot yoga or read a book or spend a Saturday shopping with my mom. But DH works long hours, and because I'm still nursing the twins frequently, it's difficult to leave them for any significant period of time. Sadly, my plan for balance in 2011 does include weaning them after their first birthday in April. I will miss the bonding, but I am really burned out and looking forward to letting some real cows do the hard work from then on. I'm also hoping that weaning will help them sleep better at night. I believe that is one of my biggest obstacles to having balance: I am desperate for more sleep. The extended sleep deprivation has me very worn out. Even if I had the time and babysitters to go shopping with my mom, my body would rather just blob around on the couch. Bean didn't sleep through the night until he was 14 months old, but the twins are waking more often than he did at this age. It's killer.

Anyway, I suppose this turned into a big poor-me rant. But that's not what I intended. I just hoped to honestly share how much this past year has kicked my butt. I wouldn't give up my family for anything, but it has not been easy to get where we are. I am hoping that the hardest is behind us, and maybe I can rejoin the world again soon.

I'd love to hear your thoughts... did you ever find your life sliding so hard in one direction that you had to put on the brakes and realign? How did you do it?

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-23T21:48:00.000-08:00

Without a doubt, this December has been my worst month of posting in the three years I have had this blog. It has thoroughly kicked my butt, from multiple ear infections (the twins) to severe sinusitis (me) to acute bronchitis (DH) to preparing for and hosting five family members for the holidays (in-laws). Not to put my in-laws on the same level as infectious bugs, but you know what I mean. Ahem.

Despite limping along through the month, we managed to get a few things done. In order to have an extra bedroom for our guests, and desperately hoping it would help get the twins on the same schedule (HA!), we moved the babies into the same room. The jury is still out on that decision, but at least we no longer feel guilty for having Nix sleep in the lovely nursery with Gax tucked away in a random spare room. I did most of my Christmas shopping online, indulging my love of Amazon.com and UPS tracking web site. It's coming... it's coming... it's HERE! (I am so house-bound right now that I almost rabidly await the arrival of mail and parcel trucks. Maybe Santa will bring me a life for Christmas.)

We are rapidly approaching 12 months since I went on bedrest with the twins: January 4. It's been a strange year, filled with the most amazing blessings (gave birth to healthy full term twins, DH's mom successfully finished chemo and radiation for breast cancer, my parents moved across the country to be near the boys), but yet the daily grind was especially... well, grindy. Spending almost 3 months on bedrest and then raising three munchkins under the age of three has NOT been easy. But soon they'll have birthdays, so I'll have three kiddos under the age of four, which I'm pretty sure is going to be a breeze.

So 2010 wasn't exactly a bad year, but I am definitely greeting 2011 with open arms. Hoping to get out of the house more, laugh more, sleep more, bake more cupcakes, read more trashy romance novels, spend more time with my husband, and play more with my children. I have the most amazing people in my life, and as I slowly emerge from the fog of parenting twinfants, I am so excited to enjoy them more.

And speaking of the most amazing people... pictures!

This is the teddy bear that DH bought me for Christmas 1996. Bean calls it "his" bear, because what's mine is his, and what's his is his.

Determined to crawl, Gax spent a few days getting the form down, then another few days coordinating movement...

...and now will spend the next 17 years getting into things he's not supposed to.

Nix has no interest in crawling yet, but he has every interest in being stinkin' adorable.

DH's parents, two brothers, and sister arrived in town from Michigan last week. We are beyond thrilled to have them for the holidays. It's the first time they are meeting the twins, in fact. The boys are turning on the charm in the hopes that, like my parents, my in-laws will be unable to leave Seattle, ever. Then we just have to capture my brother with our Web O' Cuteness, and the whole family will be together again!

The twins were baptized last Sunday. It was such a lovely service, and it meant a lot to have our family there. Nix and Gax took pity on me and didn't fuss the entire time! (They saved that for 10 pm, midnight, 3 am, and 5:30 am.)

Both Grandpas were on hand to entertain the babies for the remainder of the service. Joy and love, indeed.

The twins absolutely adore their Bumpa, and evidence points to the reverse as well.

Bean is totally a Grandma's boy. They are thick as thieves, those two!

Bath time is major cute time in our house.

Nix shows off our new Lemony Inka wrap. (No worries, I may have been sick and busy this month, but not too sick and busy to manage my stash of baby carriers.)

Despite teething six pearly whites at the same time (praise be to infant ibuprofen!), Gax retains his sense of humor.

Merry Christmas, from my family to yours!

Win a date with your favorite bloggers!

2010-12-07T18:31:00.000-08:00

(And by "win," I mean everyone is invited and encouraged to attend.)

(And by "date," I mean we are going dutch.)

(And by "favorite bloggers," I naturally mean Katie, Jen, and myself.)

That's right, we are having a Seattle Bloggers Meet-up next month! We even have our own web site where you can RSVP, which makes it incredibly Official and Fancy. As bloggers, we all obviously love to talk about ourselves. So let's eat cheesecake together while we do it!

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go crawl back under my rock. I have been afflicted by a deadly plague that some "urgent care" doctor would like me to believe is allergies. HA! Note to self, inscription on tombstone to read: Told you Claritin wouldn't make me feel better, doctor.

(If I do indeed succumb to this illness, or am otherwise on my deathbed, I will not attend the Seattle Bloggers Meet-up. Please have a piece of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough cheesecake in my honor. Thank you.)

More pictures than you can shake a stick at

2010-11-22T21:36:00.000-08:00

I've been lax in posting lately for several reasons. First, as I mentioned in my previous blog entry, we are not exactly leaving the house much these days. While I'm sure you are all waiting with baited breath to hear when the twins napped (or didn't) today, I like to cultivate a bit of mystery about my life, so I remain silent instead. And second, my brain is clearly functioning on "low" these days -- even introspective topics or simple life observations seem farther away than Lindsay Lohan's sobriety. (Hey, I can still read "People.") Maybe it's the sleep deprivation, maybe it's the fact that I hear "Mommy, I want..." spoken so often that I'm no longer capable of doing anything else but fetching apple juice and searching for missing Matchbox cars. But I always appreciate inspiration, so please do let me know if there is anything you want to hear about! I know I've asked you this before, but here I am, feeling stale yet again. (And I don't mean because I haven't showered in a couple of days. But yes, since you asked, I am feeling stale in that way as well. Fortunately I am well stocked with Shampowder.) I have a few posts started that I haven't finished: my chaos-level theory of family size and why we should have one more kid, the joys of babywearing and how to justify another carrier to your spouse so that you both kinda believe it, the personalities of my kiddos and how they combine to make the Superhuman, my Julie-and-Julia cupcake quest that has no chance of being made into a chick flick starring Anne Hathaway as myself... Anything sound good? Something else? Just shut up and post pictures? Sure.

We went to a kids' cooking class hosted by our MOMS Club, and Bean enjoyed creating (and munching) his own pizza. At least someone in the house will be able to make dinner.

That Bean, such a hot head. (groan...)

Found in one of my parents' moving boxes was an alphabet floor puzzle Bean's uncles got him for Christmas last year. He and Bumpa teamed up to knock it out.

It doesn't matter who it is, but the twins strive to make sure at least one of them is unhappy at any given time.

My hobby these days is buying, selling, and trading gorgeous woven baby wraps. And as a bonus, they actually serve a purpose other than just being stalked online and then petted.

We figured it was time for Bean to start playing video games, because he wasn't watching quite enough television to fully rot his brain.

Gax is my little veggie man. Here he summons great enthusiasm for DH's pureed carrots.

Bean has had a surge in enthusiasm for play-dough because we let him use the toddler scissors to cut it. You can also see his beloved Black Car "watching him" on the left, resting on a jar opener pad so he won't roll away. Grandma thought of this bit of brilliance when wandering Black Car caused many a tear to be shed. (We are simple folk, no?)

The twins have graduated from the uncomfortable reclining baby bath to sitting in suds in the sink. It's a family affair. (But what isn't these days?)

I love taking pictures of Gax because it is the only time I get to see him being still.

Nix is such a smiley guy, even when I put him in dorky pants. Bless his little heart.

When I set the twins down before this picture was taken, they were both on the activity mat. Not two minutes later, Gax had migrated. I won't say he is crawling exactly, but he can drag himself around on the slippery floor. Watch out world, here comes the Gaxinator. You've been warned.

"I want to wreak havoc on your house."

"And I'm going to giggle about it."

We were supposed to go on a fire station tour with MOMS Club this morning. (Or as Bean said, "We are going to the fire place to see a FIRE.") However, Mother Nature had other plans, as she shut down the entire city with a snow storm and we couldn't leave home. Fortunately, Bean wasn't too disappointed.

The good thing about not having a schedule is the time change doesn't throw us off

2010-11-08T20:05:00.000-08:00

The twins just turned 7 months old, and yes, we are still barely on this side of chaos. Where to begin the update... shall we tackle sleep issues first?

Sadly, I have no miraculous news to report about the twins sleeping through the night. And really I don't expect that they NEVER wake up for a nibble, but something like 1-2 times a night would be appreciated, and not too much to ask in my opinion. Every now and then they will tease us and renew our hope that we will eventually get decent rest -- immediately after I lamented to our preschool class that the boys wake every 3 hours on the dot, Nix slept 14 hours that night and only woke to eat ONCE, and Gax didn't do so bad either. Of course it was then back to status quo, but at least we know the possibility exists. In the meantime, I just pretend that I don't look like I forgot to take off my zombie Halloween costume. Trick or treat?

Under the free-for-all that is nap time, I feel there is a schedule struggling to emerge. Nix seems pretty content sleeping until about 7 or 8 am, taking two decent naps during the day, and going to bed around 6:30 pm. This works for me. Gax, on the other hand, prefers to keep things interesting. He wakes up closer to 6 am, but he's not really ready to face the day yet (who is, really?), so we have this little challenge where he's tired and crabby but 8 am is super early for a nap... I do end up putting him down for an early nap anyway, because ~~I am~~ the poor little dude is exhausted, and it ends up throwing off our entire day. Gax obviously needs to sleep in a bit longer for all our sakes, and I'm hoping as he gets more mature, that the super early nap will start blending into his wake-up time, and I may actually have two kids that are sort of on similar schedules. HA HA HA! Sorry, that made me laugh too.

My parents moved into their house a couple of weeks ago, and we are all adjusting. They still spend a lot of time over here helping me out with the boys, but I try to hold down the fort as much as I can alone so they can tackle a three-car garage overflowing with boxes. DH is usually successful getting home by 7 pm so he can help put Bean to bed, although he does work one day over the weekend as well. When I'm by myself, it is practically impossible to leave the house with all three boys, and because of the aforementioned napping pandemonium, it's nearly impossible to leave the house with all three boys even with another adult. Do you want to wake a sleeping munchkin and drag him all over town? The result is that I'm feeling almost as cooped up now as I did on bedrest. It is getting old -- very old -- to sit around in sweats all day watching Fireman Sam and trying to ensure that no more than one child is crying at any given moment. My gracious DH still tells me I'm beautiful when I'm not wearing make-up and my hair is smooshed from bedhead because I didn't get to shower in the morning. It's really tragic how I've eroded his standards when it comes to beauty. On the other hand, I'm grateful that the same trick worked for cooking meals.

All three of the boys adore their mama, which is a huge compliment and makes me feel so lucky. It also makes me incredibly exhausted, because there are multiple times a day when each of them will cry if he is not attached to me in some way. Nix is a born snuggler; and Bean is probably the biggest snuggler of the bunch, but these days it seems much of his neediness comes from competition for attention and not so much a desire for a hug at that particular moment. Then there's Gax, who doesn't so much want to be held as to be suspended in mid-air so he can practice his audition for Cirque du Soleil. I swear that kid has more personality in his pudgy little baby finger than I have in my entire body.

Even though I still feel like a mess, I would have to say that the general trend of things is that life is getting easier as the kids get older. However, I do struggle with feelings of incompetence because I know it's getting easier because they are outgrowing certain problems, and not because I am getting better at parenting twins. When I get more sleep and the fog clears, I know I will let go of that ridiculousness. I mean, isn't that what parenting is about? Surviving each challenging stage and praying for it to pass, knowing the next one is right around the corner? But at the moment, in the muddled mind of this mama of three under three, it bums me out sometimes. That kick-butt Supermom of Multiples that formed in my head during pregnancy has yet to arrive on the scene, and frankly, I don't think she'll ever show.

But to end on a happy note, the twins have started to really take notice of each other and their big brother, and it makes me even more excited for the years ahead with my little men. When Bean acts silly and all three of them laugh, I can practically feel my heart sprouting wings and fluttering around in my chest. When they make each other cry -- well, that's kinda funny too because it's usually the result of the twins affection for grabbing handfuls of each other's faces.

I do love them more than I can possibly express, and although it's overwhelming at times to so completely give myself over to raising three small children, I don't want to miss one single precious smile. Unless it's one of those "I'm pooping" smiles. Really, I'm totally over changing diapers.

Happy Halloween!

2010-10-31T21:54:00.000-07:00

And there's even captions, too

2010-10-18T20:27:00.000-07:00

I wanted to type a thoughtful post, reflecting on the struggles of being home with three children under the age of three. But between quadruple ear infections, multiple nighttime awakenings, sibling jealousy, and a couple of killer cases of teething, I am way too tired. (Which I suppose in itself is a reflection on the struggles of being home with three children under the age of three.) All I can handle is posting some pictures... and I will muster all the energy I can to add captions.

Today is my Mom's birthday, happy 39 plus a few years to her! For their gift, the boys made her a cute Halloween wall decoration ~~inspired by~~ directly copied from the ever-brilliant Lisa.

Nix celebrates the Spartans' grid iron victory over the University of Michigan by looking adorable in a sweatshirt.

Gax is my expressive, dramatic child. Here, he nails "forlorn."

As much work as it is to have twinfants, you are rewarded in spades watching them accidentally clobber each other.

Last Friday, Bean and I took a field trip to the pumpkin patch with his preschool class. They gave us ice cream, which seemed a bit random, but I sure wasn't going to question it.

It was the same pumpkin patch we visited last year. He was much happier this time around... or at least, it was way easier to trick him into smiling by singing show tunes and flashing jazz hands.

October 2009

October 2010

October 2009

October 2010

October 2009

October 2010

October 2009

October 2010

Poor Gaxers is suffering so much as his first teeth make their way to the surface, he has trouble sleeping. His exhaustion overcame him today, and he fell asleep in Grandma's lap.

Hmmm, that's looking mighty tempting. I think I'm going to try the same thing, but in a different location. Good night!

Two halves

2010-10-07T19:51:00.000-07:00

Today the twins are 6 months old. We are half way to the first birthday, which makes me both relieved and wistful. My fellow twin mamas told me things would be easier around 4-5 months, and I'm disappointed to find myself behind the curve on that one. The twins have obviously matured a lot since the newborn stage, but I feel just as inept with schedules and general care of multiples as I was the first day. *sigh* So I'm hoping that by the time they are 12 months old we'll have things more under control. And if not, perhaps by the time they are 12 years old. Or... well, I guess they'll move out eventually.

But before I get ahead of myself, here are their 6 month stats --

NIX
Height: 27" (75th percentile)
Weight: 17 lbs 3 oz (50th percentile)
Head: 17 3/4" (80th percentile)

GAX
Height: 27" (75th percentile)
Weight: 17 lbs (50th percentile)
Head: 17" (30-40th percentile)

The appointment started off very well. I was surprised to hear they are the same size, as they feel completely different in my arms, but I was thrilled that my girls are obviously producing enough milk for my boys. Then came the kicker: I have a new item to add to my application for Most Craptastic Mother of the Year. The lovely doctor, after peering into their little tiny ears with that proby thing, winced and gave me one of those "I really don't want to tell you this because you are SO going to hate yourself" faces and informed me that we have a quadruple ear infection.

That's right. Two kids, two ears each.

All. Infected.

They've been fussy lately, but I thought it was just a cold. I had no idea my poor munchkins were suffering like that. Well, we've started the antibiotics now, and I pray they feel better soon. With a massive amount of luck, relief will come by Saturday so I won't have two grumpy infants throwing a WE! HAVE! A! QUADRUPLE! EAR! INFECTION! fit during the rather pricey family photo session I have scheduled with a great local photographer on Saturday. *double sigh*

I was also going to update on our continued sleep struggles, but the ear infection thing totally overshadows that, so I'll put it on hold until the meds can work and my twinklets are feeling better. I'm sure at that point they'll start sleeping through the night anyway. *snort* I can't even type that without laughing. Anyway, we'll just skip right to the goods: pictures.

We gave my Grandparents and Aunt a day pass from the Baby Circus to go sight-seeing at Mount Rainier and Pike Place Market.

We also got a tour of my parents' new house -- closing is in about 2 weeks. It's a fabulous place, about to be made even fabulouser by my Mom's awesome decorating sense. I've already picked out the bunk bed that accommodates three children for their guest room. Tee hee.

Bean took his Great-Grandma to preschool with us. It was such a nice treat!

We have just started to introduce "solid" food to the twins. Here, Nix reads a recipe from the Top 100 Baby Purees book and then misunderstands its application.

My Grandparents were so good at feeding Nix, it was like they had some experience.

Nix hasn't smiled in his high chair since this picture was taken. He much prefers that you hold him when you try to feed him, as then he can better emphasize how much he hates avocado by smearing it all over your shirt.

Being the opposite of his twin, naturally Gax loves his high chair. In fact, he'll feed himself, thankyouverymuch.

We already miss Great Grandma and Great Grandpa and Aunt D!

I don't know who taught Bean this move.

He practices his "BUZZ WIGHTYEAR TO THE WESCUE!" with wings from his Halloween costume and a little help from Bumpa.

"I wish my Mom would do something about this ear infection."