Signs that you may not use that gym membership

So DH and I have been doing a lot of gum flapping lately about getting into shape. Evey is the only one in the family these days who isn't sporting a generous layer of pudge around her midsection. But instead of putting my money where my mouth is, I've just been... well, putting ice cream there.

In attempt to reverse the growing trend, DH called a local health club that offers free child care while you work out. As expected, the representative was dodgy on the phone when DH pressed him about the cost of membership. Then when DH asked if we could come in and check it out, the representative responded, "Well, we like you to come in and work out with us for about 20 minutes as an introduction." Frustrated, DH's gut reaction was, "Who has 20 minutes to work out? I just want to look at your equipment!"

Needless to say, we probably won't be joining any time soon.

Instead, we are dipping our toes into a new diet plan -- the sustainable kind. The other day I was watching the Mike & Juliette show, and they featured the top four diets per Consumer Reports. Number four was Jenny Craig, three was Slim Fast (worked for me in the past, but it's not nursing friendly), two was Weight Watchers, and number one was Volumetrics. Although not well known, this diet is supposedly the best there is. Intriguing! Seeing as the health club thing probably isn't going to pan out, I decided to get the cookbook from Amazon.

While I haven't read through the introduction in depth yet, from what I understand, the basic and rather obvious theory is that you can lower your caloric intake by replacing some of the foods you eat with more nutritious and filling options, not reducing the quantity you eat overall. In fact, if you follow the author's advice, you may actually be eating more in a day -- and then when it's ice cream time, you'll only be hungry enough for a small scoop, instead of two enormous ones. Now there's a diet my behind can get behind.

And if that doesn't work, I'll just wear my new black yoga pants every day. My DH and our babysitter both asked if I lost weight when I wore them.

I've gotten some surprised reactions to my distaste of our new DVR. I'll admit, I've gotten used to it a bit, and I think it's okay. While Netflix may be closer to my heart, I do appreciate not having to miss the new episodes of Monk and Psych. But now I feel pressure to always be recording stuff, lest I sit down to nurse Bean and have nothing on queue to watch. Then I end up being forced to watch an episode on war machines that DH recorded from the military channel. And as far as liking to watch commercials (or at least using them to escape for a quick diaper change), a friend kindly reminded me that I don't have to fast-forward through them. Good point! Although I just saw a rerun of the Simpsons where Marge gets a Tivo and ends up watching only commercials, and that clown guy tricks them into going to the grand opening of a restaurant, and then he attacks them. So you have to be careful.

Moving on to baby news, mine turns 5 months old today. I find it harder and harder to resist his adorableness as he coos, squeaks, laughs, and reaches for me while gazing lovingly at my face. How amazing is motherhood? It's nothing like I thought, but underneath the exhaustion, frustration, and confusion, I am blissfully happy being Bean's one and only mom. The other day when we were at Qdoba eating dinner, I proposed to DH that we try to have a bunch of kids. He raised an eyebrow, "How many, exactly?" "I don't know... a bunch," I responded. He looked down at my plate quizzically. "What is in that quesadilla?" So maybe he's not on board, and that's probably a good thing. But wow, what an experience it's been.

The sleep problem remains our biggest challenge, and it seems insurmountable at the moment. I am sustained by the promises of my friends who say it does get easier. My next plan of action is to follow the advice of a book called "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. I've read some of her stuff in the past and have liked it, and she's from Seattle to boot. (Whatever that has to do with it, I'm not sure. But it makes me happy anyway.) I've gotten through the introduction and the first chapter on sleep safety for infants. It may be no-cry for Bean, but it hasn't been for me so far. I've burst into tears several times reading the cases she presents... that's my baby! And there's hope? I'll keep you posted on our progress, because if this works, it will be an absolute miracle.

There is a movie coming out this weekend called "Pineapple Express." It's an action-adventure-meets-stoner-comedy. An instant classic, I'm sure. Anyway, a few months ago I mentioned a Pineapple Express in my blog. Were you paying attention? Take the poll on the right to find out!