Sunday, June 29, 2008

Home at last

We made it!!!!

This is me releasing the biggest sigh of relief ever.

The move went very smoothly. Hiring the moving company made all the difference -- it was great to have everything in the new house on Wednesday, instead of dragging it out through this weekend. Bean was surprisingly calm and pleasant during the packing, loading, and unpacking. I was afraid it would be too much stimulation for him with too few naps, but we had no such problem. The hardest part was keeping track of Evey, lest she decide to take advantage of the open doors and roam the neighborhood. The movers were very patient stepping over her leash as she snaked through the maze of boxes, towing an exhausted me or DH behind her.

I realized on Wednesday as we were moving that it was also the one-year anniversary of the day we found out we were pregnant with Bean. So after a BFP and a new house, June 25, 2009 sure has a lot to live up to. I'm thinking winning lottery ticket.

We are now busily trying to settle into the house as much as possible before leaving for our Michigan trip on Thursday. It currently looks like a cardboard factory exploded in here, and then a tornado swept through. Yikes. But despite all that, we love love love LOVE the house so far. I never expected to find a place so wonderful for us. That doesn't mean I don't have a major redecorating wish-list, though! Now about that winning lottery ticket...

I'd love to stay and type, but the exploded cardboard factory calls. I am super behind on answering emails and catching up on friends' blogs, but I promise I'll get up to speed again eventually.

The post would not be complete without a couple of pics...

Bean takes a moment out of munching on his fingers to smile at the camera on moving day.

We recently noticed that you can see Mt. Rainier from some of our upstairs windows! How cool is that?!

Bean embraces his Detroit heritage, but Evey is a Cardinal's fan through-and-through.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Yet another reason I love my husband

He has agreed to hire the movers to pack us and move all of our stuff, instead of packing ourselves and moving some of the boxes on our own. With a three-and-a-half month old in the household, we operate at 25% efficiency, at our best; often we are in a dead stop. I was consumed with panic the other night and woke him up at 3:30 in the morning to plead my case. Thankfully he agreed. This means I have to put off buying a new kitchen table, so our set from 1982 will unfortunately be making the move with us. But the '80s are fashionable again these days, so I figure we're actually quite hip.

Now begins the descent into madness. Tonight we are doing the walk-through of the house, then we are going to grab a quick dinner for DH's birthday. Oh yeah, did I mention it's DH's birthday today? We're not exactly in party mode, so we'll have to celebrate later. Then tomorrow we both work, and we should HOPEFULLY be getting the keys by 9 pm. Personally, my money is on Tuesday afternoon. I am less than impressed with this title company and have no faith in their ability to actually have closing when it's scheduled. But it's out of my hands now, so I'm trying not to stress about it. Anyway, the packers are coming at 8 am on Tuesday morning, and then Wednesday is The Big Move. Our Internet access will be down this week, so I'll be getting even more behind on my blogging, commenting, and emailing. I'm disappointed in the timing of all this -- there were a few posts that I wanted to write before NaComLeavMo ends on Wednesday, such as my experience with pregnancy after infertility and how infertility has affected me as a mother so far. But if anyone cares to hear about those things, maybe I'll get back to them after the craziness subsides.

Next time I write, I'll be at the new place. I can hardly wait! So I'm signing off for the last time from this rental house with some pics of my sweet Bean...

On the way to sign the settlement documents. He's very excited to get the new house.

Waiting for the rep at the title company. Grandma M. sent us a new outfit for Bean to wear at signing. (DH and I chose our outfits accordingly.)

Bean finds the home buying process to be a very exhausting.

Big smile for mommy.

Arm hair, yummy! (You'd think we don't feed the poor kid, if it weren't for all those fat rolls.)

Friday, June 20, 2008

Impatience, confusion, and sleep deprivation

The house. As you can see by the ticker at the very bottom of this page, which I'm sure you have been monitoring as obsessively as I have, we are almost ready to close on the house. Washington has this ridiculous process by which escrow closes several days after you sign the papers, when the title transfer gets recorded by the state. How annoying, I want to get in NOW! (We are used to anticlimactic closings, though. When we signed the closing documents in Missouri, the realtor handed us our new keys and we drove the 20 minutes to our first house. All the way there, we were giddily squeaking observations like "this is the last time we will drive across this bridge before we have our house" and "next time we drive into this sub, we'll have a house in it!" Well, after about 25 minutes of trying every key and door combination multiple times, we realized they gave us the wrong set of keys. We had to drive all the way back to the realtor's office to get the right ones. We were silent on that trip.) Anyway, because of this absurd delay period imposed by the Evergreen State, I thought we would have signed by now, seeing as closing is supposed to be Monday... but NOPE! These people feel that I need yet another lesson in waiting. Fingers crossed they call us into the office very soon. I am purposely not doing my hair and make-up this morning to dare them to call and want us in immediately. I'm a punk that way.

The job. For the past two weeks, I've had the babysitter come over to watch Bean while I work from home 20 hours a week. I'd say it's been going pretty well so far. It's definitely much better for us than group day care; I love being able to interact with him whenever I feel like it, and so far, no eruptions of screaming while I'm on the phone with a client. But I still really struggle with whether or not I should continue working, or stay home full time. My mom had a good way of phrasing the question in my head: "Am I a better mother because I work?" While I think I'm generally the best person to be caring for my son during the day, there's a part of me that thinks I have been a better mom since going back to work. My job gives me personal satisfaction and time to be myself -- so I am more prepared to give Bean the quality of attention he deserves on my days off. But then again, as he gets older, I'm feeling less drained and more satisfied when spending the entire day alone with him. (Seeing the surprised and delighted looks on his face when he explores the world is priceless!) My inner counselor asks: "Are you considering staying home with him because you feel like you should want to, or because you really want to?" Then my inner client sticks her tongue out and storms off. As you can see, I've still got a bit of thinking to do.

The Bean. Many people told me that after three months, it would start getting easier to care for the baby. Thank goodness for all of us (including any potential future children, God willing), they were right. Bean is much more agreeable and smiley these days, drawing admirers when he and I are out on the town running errands. He talks to the baby in the mirror, grabs the zebra on his swing, watches the dog with amusement, and knocks us over daily with his overwhelming sweetness. His sleeping habits aren't the best, which I will tackle as soon as we get back from our trip to Michigan. I can't figure out why he can take a 3-4 hour nap during the day, but only sleep in 2 hour increments at night before he's starving again. And unfortunately, our first foray into 100% shieldless breastfeeding was a failure. His awkward latch meant less milk for him and decreased supply for me over the course of about 5 days. We are back on the shield, but I am working with the lactation specialist at our birthing center to try a more gradual process of weaning off of it. And of course, I can always consult with the dog.

A few smiles to carry you into the weekend...

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Evey Louise turns TWO!

Happy birthday to my sweet little Schnoodle! I know it's cliche, but I fondly remember the day we brought her home, she was just an itty bitty pup of 5 lbs.... *sigh* I wanted to write a post about what she's meant to me and how our relationship has grown over the past two years, but it's getting increasingly hard to keep up with my own blog while caring for a baby, packing the house up for our move (NEXT WEEK!), working, and participating in NaComLeavMo. So sorry pooch, once again you have to get pushed to the side for other priorities. But you'll still snuggle against me on the couch without holding a grudge, which is one of the reasons I love you so much.

In honor of her second birthday, here are a few of my favorite faces (and tails) of Evey Louise.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Happy Father's Day

For me, one of the most difficult aspects of infertility was the feeling that my body was not only failing me month after month, but also my husband. He is such a great man -- intelligent, kind, and funny, without any conceit to go with it. There seems to be no selection process in who becomes a father these days, but if there was, my DH would pass with flying colors. Looking across the dinner table at him after a failed treatment, my heart would break into a million pieces fearing that I may never be able to give him a child.

Reading through the NaComLeavMo blogs, I am reminded that many people experience far greater heartache than we endured to conceive Bean. For those who haven't reached parenthood yet, I hope they get to celebrate Father's Day next year with their own sweet babies. Facing infertility and realizing that nothing is guaranteed brings a new level of appreciation to a holiday that is often reduced to an obligatory greeting card and a new tie. Cheesy as it may be, I find this day to be a bit sobering as well as celebratory, and for the millionth bazillionth time, I am grateful for my beautiful family.

So Happy Father's Day, DH. I couldn't be more proud of you, nor more grateful that Bean will have you to guide him as he grows up. Look what we made together.

I also want to say Happy Father's Day to my Dad, my father-in-law, and my grandpa. Bean has such wonderful male role models in his life, he's a lucky little boy.

Enjoy the day!