At this rate I'm basically screwed

I've been debating whether or not to blog about my pregnancy over here... ideally I wanted to wait until I hit the second trimester. But really, what's the point? The cat has left the proverbial bag, I actually pinched its butt so it would leap out with a giant MEOW.

But before I go on, I will say that it's really early. Only 3 1/2 weeks, to be precise. Which is sooner than most women even know they are pregnant. I am hopeful, but painfully aware that every moment is fragile at this point. My first ultrasound will be on September 1, and we are praying for a heartbeat. That would not erase all fears, but it would be a good sign. In the meantime, I am constantly running mental diagnostics on myself, wondering if the baby is still okay, how many are in there, girl or boy, did I pee enough today, am I still as bloated (yep!)...

My first clue that I was pregnant: I looked pregnant. I came home from a walking date with my friend last Monday, looked in the mirror... and DEAR GAWD! That belly wasn't there when I left the house that morning! I mean, sure, DH and I had made a batch of his mom's famous 10 Minute Cookies over the weekend. And sure, I had eaten more than my fair share. And the fair shares of eight other people, let's be honest. But come on, this was obscene. I can't believe my friend didn't freak out and scream that I was turning into a giant blueberry like Violet on "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory." I tried to chalk it up to pre-AF bloat, or perhaps the progesterone supplements I've been taking, because I'm a doubter like that. But in the back of my mind, I could here the little voice whispering, "This could be it, chica."

Sure enough, two days and six positive home pregnancy tests later (including one digital that said PREGNANT), I was starting to suspect that I might actually be pregnant. I called my nurse first thing on Wednesday morning. We had a zoo date in Seattle with our preschool pals at 10:30 am that day, and she said I could stop by their office at 9:45 am to have my first of two blood tests. I was only 10 days past ovulation, which is early for a test, but I was anxious to have it done.

Because now we had to leave the house earlier than expected, I frantically grabbed the Bean and all of our crap and flew out the door. To my relief, we made it downtown on time. I parked in a metered lot and stood behind an older man, waiting to pay for my spot at the automated machine. He was having trouble using it, and asked if I would go first so he could watch me. "Of course," I smiled. I opened my purse, and...

... no wallet. In my haste, I had somehow walked out the door with my wallet on the kitchen counter. I have never, ever done that before. ARG!!! What was I going to do for the rest of the day?!

The kind man offered to pay for my parking, God bless him. We took care of both our spaces, and I went into the office for the blood draw. Easy enough! I had a balance to pay, because of course they wanted to drain my bank account in addition to my veins, but fortunately I did have my checkbook.

Then it was off to the zoo. I desperately called a friend on the way there, who withdrew some money from the ATM and lent it to me so I could cover parking, zoo entry fee, and lunch. I felt like a huge dork, but at least a huge dork IN the zoo, instead of banging on the gates with a crying toddler in my arms.

The zoo itself was fine. I was nervous and shaken from the morning's events, but I tried to focus on the animals because Bean didn't give a crap about them, and after all this effort to go to the zoo, at least one of us should look at the chimps, dammit. Then my cell phone rang. It was the nurse, reporting my blood test results.

"You're hcg level this morning was 33.2. Which is lower than we typically like to see, but you did test early."

She instructed me to schedule a follow-up on Friday, to make sure that number had doubled. I thanked her and hung up. The conversation, of course, did nothing to calm my nerves. I was anxious to get home and jump on Betabase.info so I could compare my number to others. Was it actually low, or just low compared to other women's first betas, which usually occur closer to 14 days past ovulation?

Somehow I survived the rest of the zoo, and I raced home. I had finally reached our exit, on the final stretch before I turned into the neighborhood.... and I was pulled over by a cop.

I was apparently going 53 mph in a 35 mph zone. Which I had achieved in only about 30 yards since exiting the highway.

The cop was very nice, I'll give him that. "Can I see your license and registration, ma'am?"

Well, officer, you COULD see my license! If I wasn't a flaming MORON who left it on my kitchen counter! Which is actually right there, inside that house on the corner, the one you could hit with a stone from here, incidentally.

*sigh*

He gave me a ticket for going 10 mph over the speed limit, and didn't write me up for not having my license with me. I explained that I had found out I was pregnant that morning. "Well, that'll mess you up," he chuckled. Ain't that the truth.

I finally got back home. I looked up my hcg level online and was comforted to find that it was nice and high for being only 10 days past ovulation. I called DH to tell him about the ticket and the blood test. He suggested I stay inside for the rest of the day. I complied.

So here I am, at 3 1/2 weeks pregnant, and I have two problems. Apparently, pregnancy brain has set in early. I cannot muster productive thought for more than 20 minutes a day, it fades quickly and I'm forced to rely on post-it notes to remember to do things like get dressed in the morning and close the fridge after taking something out. And seriously, THIS STOMACH! I'm all about the baby bump, I think they are adorable. But what the heck am I supposed to do at 3 1/2 weeks pregnant when I CAN'T BUTTON MY JEANS! I got out my maternity clothes, but it just seems wrong to wear them so early. Suggestions, Internets?

At this rate, I am going to weigh an extra 85 lbs and do nothing more than mumble incoherently by the time this baby is born.

But you know what? I'll take all of it. Gratefully.