Monday, November 8, 2010

The good thing about not having a schedule is the time change doesn't throw us off

The twins just turned 7 months old, and yes, we are still barely on this side of chaos.  Where to begin the update... shall we tackle sleep issues first?

Sadly, I have no miraculous news to report about the twins sleeping through the night.  And really I don't expect that they NEVER wake up for a nibble, but something like 1-2 times a night would be appreciated, and not too much to ask in my opinion.  Every now and then they will tease us and renew our hope that we will eventually get decent rest -- immediately after I lamented to our preschool class that the boys wake every 3 hours on the dot, Nix slept 14 hours that night and only woke to eat ONCE, and Gax didn't do so bad either.  Of course it was then back to status quo, but at least we know the possibility exists.  In the meantime, I just pretend that I don't look like I forgot to take off my zombie Halloween costume.  Trick or treat?

Under the free-for-all that is nap time, I feel there is a schedule struggling to emerge.  Nix seems pretty content sleeping until about 7 or 8 am, taking two decent naps during the day, and going to bed around 6:30 pm.  This works for me.  Gax, on the other hand, prefers to keep things interesting.  He wakes up closer to 6 am, but he's not really ready to face the day yet (who is, really?), so we have this little challenge where he's tired and crabby but 8 am is super early for a nap... I do end up putting him down for an early nap anyway, because I am the poor little dude is exhausted, and it ends up throwing off our entire day.  Gax obviously needs to sleep in a bit longer for all our sakes, and I'm hoping as he gets more mature, that the super early nap will start blending into his wake-up time, and I may actually have two kids that are sort of on similar schedules.  HA HA HA!  Sorry, that made me laugh too.

My parents moved into their house a couple of weeks ago, and we are all adjusting.  They still spend a lot of time over here helping me out with the boys, but I try to hold down the fort as much as I can alone so they can tackle a three-car garage overflowing with boxes.  DH is usually successful getting home by 7 pm so he can help put Bean to bed, although he does work one day over the weekend as well.  When I'm by myself, it is practically impossible to leave the house with all three boys, and because of the aforementioned napping pandemonium, it's nearly impossible to leave the house with all three boys even with another adult.  Do you want to wake a sleeping munchkin and drag him all over town?  The result is that I'm feeling almost as cooped up now as I did on bedrest.  It is getting old -- very old -- to sit around in sweats all day watching Fireman Sam and trying to ensure that no more than one child is crying at any given moment.  My gracious DH still tells me I'm beautiful when I'm not wearing make-up and my hair is smooshed from bedhead because I didn't get to shower in the morning.  It's really tragic how I've eroded his standards when it comes to beauty.  On the other hand, I'm grateful that the same trick worked for cooking meals.

All three of the boys adore their mama, which is a huge compliment and makes me feel so lucky.  It also makes me incredibly exhausted, because there are multiple times a day when each of them will cry if he is not attached to me in some way.  Nix is a born snuggler; and Bean is probably the biggest snuggler of the bunch, but these days it seems much of his neediness comes from competition for attention and not so much a desire for a hug at that particular moment.  Then there's Gax, who doesn't so much want to be held as to be suspended in mid-air so he can practice his audition for Cirque du Soleil.  I swear that kid has more personality in his pudgy little baby finger than I have in my entire body.

Even though I still feel like a mess, I would have to say that the general trend of things is that life is getting easier as the kids get older.  However, I do struggle with feelings of incompetence because I know it's getting easier because they are outgrowing certain problems, and not because I am getting better at parenting twins. When I get more sleep and the fog clears, I know I will let go of that ridiculousness.  I mean, isn't that what parenting is about?  Surviving each challenging stage and praying for it to pass, knowing the next one is right around the corner? But at the moment, in the muddled mind of this mama of three under three, it bums me out sometimes.  That kick-butt Supermom of Multiples that formed in my head during pregnancy has yet to arrive on the scene, and frankly, I don't think she'll ever show.

But to end on a happy note, the twins have started to really take notice of each other and their big brother, and it makes me even more excited for the years ahead with my little men.  When Bean acts silly and all three of them laugh, I can practically feel my heart sprouting wings and fluttering around in my chest.  When they make each other cry -- well, that's kinda funny too because it's usually the result of the twins affection for grabbing handfuls of each other's faces.

I do love them more than I can possibly express, and although it's overwhelming at times to so completely give myself over to raising three small children, I don't want to miss one single precious smile.  Unless it's one of those "I'm pooping" smiles.  Really, I'm totally over changing diapers.


Kristina P. said...

Just wait until they are teenagers!

Anonymous said...

You are the Supermom in my book, really. When I am thinking of opening my mouth to complain that my little one cannot for the love of God stay two minutes without being entertained, I just think of you and your little three. And I shut my mouth and just keep on practising for the Cirque du Soleil audition. 'cause I am so going there, baby. Supporting my own son in his own attempt and trying my luck as the show's clown. I might as well try to earn a living pulling the faces I have to pull every hour of the day...

Jen said...

I get tired just reading your post from the luxury of my work...away from the kids. Seriously I don't know how you manage it. Saying I'm amazed would be a tremendous understatement. I too look forward to the day when both Jillian and Hayden take a long afternoon nap at the same scheduled time. 2 hours of total peace and quiet will but blissful.

AJ said...

You are defintiely that kick-butt Supermom of Multiples ande I hope one day when the fog has cleared and you look back you realize that. Noah loves Fireman Sam too - I had never heard of it before and didn't know anyone else who watched it!

Allison said...

How I wish I could just drive over and hang out for a few hours! Although, would bringing Ella and Nathan over really help anything? Probably not. But, we could look "beautiful" together and feel like "supermom" together! Hehe! Oh, and I do not like Fireman Sam. He really annoys me. Just my opinion. :)

Sarah said...

You are an amazing mom! Don't feel incompetent because as you said yourself, "parenting is about surviving each challenging state and praying for it to pass, knowing the next one is right around the corner!" It's that way for us all and you have an even steeper hill to climb than the rest of us. As for the sweats, I'm still in them a year later and STILL haven't figured out my make-up situation (although I am taking your list with me when I go to ULTA). Besides, who cares what we look like when our kids are having a giggle-fest in the back of the car making us in turn glow! That's all a mom needs! As for GAX sleeping situation, is he in his own space/room? Is there anyway you can wait to get him from his room until 7am just to see if he puts himself back to sleep for another hour? Or is he screaming bloody murder? A little nursing and then back in for the rest of his sleep? (Empathy for your "girls" btw!) It's so hard in the mornings. I understanding the isolation of motherhood - especially trying to manage multiple sleep schedules! Again, AMAZING Mama!!! You are inspiring and are doing a great job!

Anonymous said...

can you ever REALLY have a schedule with three kids? i have a hard enough time with two!

...sounds to me like you are doing an awesome job. and showering? totally overrated!!! :)

lisawitt said...

Isnt it so precious when they are "playing" with each other? Nothing makes me smile more then when Z is making M laugh, or maybe it just cause he isnt knocking him over! You are doing GREAT momma, dont ever forge that!! :)

Aisha said...

My child is six months old- and yep, no sleep schedule at all yet- you are not alone. So happy for you and your little family and that you are finding the joy admist the chaos!

Kristin @ Intrepid Murmurings said...

So great to hear how things are going -- even if its not quite how you'd hoped or envisioned! Sounds like you are doing great, given where you are! For me, I felt like it was around a year where I finally felt like I started coming out of the fog. You'll get there! Life with 2.5 year olds and a 4.5 year old is crazy, but I feel SO much more "on top of it" (and even when I don't, really, it's still way better/easier than that first year, ha ha!)

Fireman Sam is a fave around here, too!

Our sleep schedule really started to fall into place around 7-8 months, kind of timed around solids (after each solids meal, they nursed and then went to bed for either a nap or bedtime). My girls were naturally pretty in synch sleep wise, which I know is lucky -- but they did get up at 6 and AM nap started at 8:30ish.

I hear you on being housebound!. It was SO hard to get out. I only ever did it from 10-12 in the AM, between the naps, and that still was pushing it.
Going out on solo errands/shopping on weekends was key to my sanity for awhile (still is). Your husband's work schedule sounds challenging, it is HARD to be on your own with them for so long!

You're doing awesome! Some day (maybe when everybody is finally sleeping, ha ha) I'd love to get our little crews together!

Katie said...

I can't even imagine. Because I am feeling extremely cooped up with just the two of mine. Emma has started slipping into a "schedule," so long as I encourage it. I feel all sorts of selfish, because being home all day makes me want to blow my brains out, so I rarely encourage her to sleep on a schedule. Which then leads to an overtired baby. Which I then complain about, even though it is SO my fault. But UGH, staying home sucks the big one. So, all of that to say, I feel you.

Jessica Zabel said...

I love your blog! Thank you so much for posting. I'm not exactly sure of the connection, my mom suggested it to me (she's a hygienist in St. Louis and someone in your family sees her - maybe?). Anyway, I've been following for a few months now... shortly after I found out I was having twins (identical girls). I also have a 22 month old son, who will be 2 when the twins arrive. I appreciate your insight into my soon to be reality! I really liked the post of recommended baby gear to buy/borrow/etc... very helpful! I am doing my best to prepare for this huge up coming change. I would love any advise. I can only imagine what I'm in for.
It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job with your boys! It can only get easier, right!?