Friday, February 11, 2011

I'm proven right, for once

Today I turn 31.

Part of me is a little sad, I'm having Round Two of mourning the lack of celebration that occurred on my 30th birthday.  Not allowed to sit up while on bedrest, permitted only a small piece of cake due to my gestational diabetes.  Because you know what?  I was really, really looking forward to turning 30, and I wanted to do something special.  I've always said that my 30s were going to be My Decade.  The 20s had their high points, but they were mostly marked by going to school and struggling to conceive.  Ugh and double ugh.  I mean, I did overcome both of those things -- I am exceptionally brilliant and I have more children than you can shake a stick at (believe me, I've tried).  But still.

As I detailed in my birthday post last year, I had very specific plans for my 20s that didn't turn out like I had expected.  My plan for my 30s, though, was to enjoy the spoils that I worked so hard for in the previous decade.

A couple of days ago, while driving the twins to our co-op preschool, one of my favorite songs came on the radio: "Long December" by Counting Crows.  It's beautiful and emotional, filled with regret and loss and tempered hope.  Or as my Dad would call it, a "whiny song."  As soon as I heard it, I turned it up.

But you know... I just didn't feel it.  My life is missing the deep angst, the unfulfilled longing that I used to have, which served as a connection to the lyrics.  My hope has come true.  I still have dreams for myself in the future, but right now, at this very moment, I feel like I am in the right place.  I am madly in love with my husband.  I am having a blast raising my children (when I don't feel like making a mad dash to Canada).  My wonderful parents are present in our lives.  This is a temporary time in my life, and it comes with many struggles, but overall it's glorious.

It's my 30s.

And the verdict after one year: it's all that I had wanted, and more.

Happy birthday to me.

This year?  I'm eating the whole damn cake.


Photobucket

21 comments:

Coffeegrljp said...

Happy Birthday lady! I'm so happy to hear that you're celebrating your life and your self!

E said...

Happy birthday!! Hehe, I remember not being able to eat birthday cake too...it sucked, but well worth it. Actually I ate chocolate cheesecake anyway.

I wish I was turning 31 and not 34 next month. I feel like I am running against time and the decline-of-fertility-at-the-age-of-35-thing. Ugg.

Enjoy it!

Jen said...

Happy birthday!!!

Kristina P. said...

Happy birthday, Sunny! Enjoy it!

Lisa said...

Happy birthday, C!!! So happy that you have all you wished for and more....nothing better than being happy where you are, makes life a whole lot easier! :) Hope you get a little spoiled today still and girl, go for it....eat the whole damn cake! WAHOO!

AJ said...

Happy Birthday!

Aisha said...

Happy Birthday Sunny :)

And I can relate to this- the angsty songs of my 20s just dont have the same effect- and I guess this is why- they make me nostalgic but they do not feel immediate any more.

I hope our thirties, both yours and mine, are when we can relax and enjoy each second

Mary said...

Happy Happy Birthday to You!!!

Stef said...

YES! I loved this post. Happy 31st birthday! You and I are only a few days apart in age. So fun... I feel the same way about my 30's that you do. They WILL be fun, whether they like it or not. I'll make sure of it. They'll be funky and crazy and fun. I want to embrace age and embrace the new, er... old body that comes with it :)

AFD said...

You DESERVE the whole damn cake! I hope it's everything you imagined it would be!!!! Happy birthday my dear friend!

Lisa said...

Happy Birthday Sunny! What a great post, I feel exactly the same. It's nice to be comfortable for once isn't it. Oh by the way, I can't believe you are only 31 (-:

And so it goes said...

Happy birthday. I love this post! Here's to knowing your 30s will be everything you hope them to be.

Alisa said...

Happy Happy Happy Birthday, Happy Happy Birthday to you!
The official WDW birthday song, sung to you via text!
Have a fun one!

'Murgdan' said...

Happy Birthday! Eat it ALLLLLL!

Sarah said...

Happy Birthday!

Alana said...

What a wonderful outlook! SO glad you're able to focus on such positive things. Happy birthday!

kmina said...

Happy (belated) birthday!
You really rock, you spring chicken you!

Keya said...

Happy Birthday. That was a wonderful post. I also find that my 20's was all about school and ttc. While my 30's is about parenting. I guess in our 40's or kids will be older and it will be all about us, well at least in our 50's.

strongblonde said...

omg!! i'm so late!! but happy birthday :)

And so it goes said...

Thanks for the comment. So helps to know I am not the only one squinting at stupid pee sticks.
:)

WiseBursche said...

Am very sorry that I missed your birthday.

Belated Happy Birthday, Sunny!

And blessings to everyone at home.

xoxo