Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Cue complete and total panic

52 weeks pregnant
Have you ever seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail?  Sorry, dumb question, of course you have.  You know that part where the castle guards are watching someone run towards them?  Every time they cut to the guy, he's running at the same long distance away.  And then impossibly soon, he's right on top of them, wielding his sword?

That kind of sums up this pregnancy.  The birth was always MONTHS away, nothing to worry about, plenty of time.  And now?

Two weeks from this Friday.  AT THE MOST.


Impossibly soon.  And wielding a sword.  I don't mean literally, of course.  Unless you count... never mind.

I'm trying to remember how I felt two-and-a-half weeks before the twins were born.  It was exactly the time I was getting off bedrest, so there was that sense of relief that my babies were likely pretty healthy by that point, plus the grieving that I wouldn't have any excuse or opportunity to spend an entire day watching Teen Mom marathons on MTV.  What I remember freaking out about most was that 1) Bean would have a hard time adjusting to his brothers and 2) I wouldn't be able to bond with Nix and Gax because there were two of them and only one of me.  Turns out the former was a justified and realized fear, and the latter not so much.  But this time around, I am (perhaps naively) comfortable that our kids will do relatively well with a new brother, and that bonding won't really be an issue.  Instead, I am in absolute panic about two other things.  Namely: 1) There is no way my complete-these-tasks-before-baby-comes-or-you-are-totally-screwed list will be finished in time, and more importantly 2) CRAP, I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO MEMORY OF WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO WITH A NEWBORN!

The few things I remember:  Feed baby constantly.  Change diaper frequently.  Give a bath every couple of days.  Dress in adorable tiny clothes.  Strap in car seat for travel.  Allow baby to sleep often, even though the favor will not be returned.

I'm hoping that will do me.

I had my 36-week check-up with my OB this morning.  Everything is looking good, blood pressure, heartbeat, etc.  I am 1.5-2 cm dilated, which freaks me out a bit, but she told me that's normal for women who have given birth previously.  Plus I did walk around for at least two weeks at 4 cm dilated with the twins.  The doc manipulated my tummy and felt the sweet little pork chop for a minute and said, "I'd guess he's about 6 pounds now, and he'll probably be around 8 pounds at birth."  I tried to smile pleasantly and nod, but she must have heard the SNORT! that occurred reflexively in the back of my brain.  She knows that Bean was 9 lbs 14 oz and the twins were 8 lbs and 6 lbs 6 oz, respectively.  I figure the chance of this single child weighing around 8 pounds (if he comes as scheduled, and not early) is approximately the same as the chance that Colin Firth will come to the hospital to congratulate me on the birth, wearing his Mr. Darcy costume and that "I am trying to hide my emotions but I am madly in love with you" expression that he always flashed at Elizabeth Bennett.

Anyway, the OB continued on to ask me what I thought his size would be.  She said that mothers' estimates of birth weight were shown to be more accurate than estimates from ultrasounds and doctors.  I did express doubt that my uterus had suddenly changed its MO and was this time carrying a reasonable amount of baby -- but I'm curious about your guess too, so I included a poll on the right side of this blog, under the "About Me" blurb.  Stop by and cast your vote!

And in the meantime, if someone feels like reorganizing storage boxes in our garage, please let me know.



Mrs. Gamgee said...

You almost made me snort water out my nose with the caption under that pic! It's exactly how I feel right now!

My holy-crap list is a little further along than yours, but I'm still feeling the pressure (pun intended). It seems like we both just started down this road yesterday. Crazy!

Praying that the next couple of weeks go by productively for you.

Mina said...

I have done practically nothing, but then I still have around 9-10 weeks to get my list sorted out. And I totally agree with your MP reference. Sword wielding alight.

I too have vague memories of what to do with a newborn. I hope you can post some hints when you figure it out. It is always helpful.

Oh, and I DO hope you get a super sleeper this time. One who'll make me even more jealous of you for having your awesome mum. Cause I'm nice like that and have no idea what I am talking about right now. :-)

St Elsewhere said...

Oh, you are HOW MANY weeks with this one? I believe you, Sunny.

What a countdown....

Lisa said...

you look great, girl! and i am 100% confident all that baby knowledge will be back in no time. enjoy these last few weeks as a family of FIVE! :)

Lavender Luz said...

You always make me laugh. Belly laugh!

You are so beautiful, too!

Wishing you the best as you enter the homestretch back to newborn mommying! Like riding a bike, right?

Kristin H. said...

Love the belly pic! So cute--aall baby--but lots of baby :) You are an old pro so you will do great with a newborn. It has to seem easier than twins! Can't wait to see the pics of this little guy!

MoonNStarMommy said...

I had to do a double take at the caption under the picture.... does that really say... yep... it sure does... does she think she's an elephant? Heehee....

I am a fellow Mommy of the testosterone type..... oye. We kept trying for a girl..... didn't happen. So I got a girl cat, and a girl dog. I'm still out numbered! One of my boys loves the color pink though...... Daddy is losing hope for grandchildren...


Good luck on your upcoming data overload of how to take care of a newborn..

I'm sure you are excited too :)

I'm across the Sound from you :)

Anonymous said...

:) wahoo. i'm guessing that there might be a baby around now? love the picture and i'm sure it will all come back to you!

JW Moxie said...

I might have peed my pants a little with this. Sunny, you are so, so very funny. Everything you need to know about newborns was whittled down to that "what I remember" segment. You're a natural. :)