Sorry, can't help you

Being located in the Midwest, my undergraduate alma mater often utilizes local alumni groups for recruiting activities in other areas of the country. I periodically receive emails asking for volunteers to "schmooze" (my term) at the meet-and-greet sessions they host at hotels. Being proud of the university, I'd love to show up and share my enthusiasm. However, when I really think about it, the same scenario keeps replaying in my mind...

I picture a family of three: the nervous, shy, and slightly dorky high school senior (future engineer), his business-attire clad father (probably a lawyer), and quiet but pleasant mother (teacher or nurse, perhaps). I greet them with a smile.

Me: "Hello and welcome! Can I answer any questions for you?"

Father: "Yes, thank you. When did you graduate and what did you study?"

Me: "I earned a bachelor's degree from their journalism program in 2002."

Father: "Oh, good for you. Where do you work now, The Seattle Times?"

Me: "No, not exactly. I realized during a six-month internship my senior year that I would rather cut off my right foot than be a journalist. I moved to St. Louis after graduation, where I was offered only one job, and it was for a local business paper making ten dollars an hour. Considering I made more than that babysitting in high school -- and, well, the right foot thing -- I got a temp job instead."

Father: "Hmmm."

Me: "Then I decided to follow my true passion, and I spent one-tenth of what my bachelor's cost getting a graduate degree in counseling psychology."

Father: "So you are a therapist now?"

Me: "I was. But I'm married to someone who went to a state school and makes more money than I can. It took a while, but I finally got knocked up and now I stay at home full time with our baby."

Father: "Oh."

Me: "It's okay though, I had a great time in college, and my parents don't hate me. My dad says he probably would have lost that money in the stock market after September 11th anyway."

Father, silent, looks ill.

Me: "But I do have a blog, and there are seventeen subscribers. Eight of them even follow publicly."

Father grabs wife and son and bolts for the door.

Me: (calling after them and waving) "Let me know if I can answer any more questions! Good luck with your decision!"

Don't get me wrong, I feel that every step I've taken was necessary to get me where I am today, content and confident that I'm in the right place. The lesson that life doesn't always go as planned -- perhaps the biggest exclamation point of infertility -- can sometimes have positive outcomes as well as unpleasant surprises. And I am in good company as a SAHM, many of my friends have this job title as well. I just think that perhaps the alumni group doesn't really have me in mind when they send out that particular request. Sorry, peeps, but for your sake and the sake of our stellar institution, I'll pass this time. Don't worry, I'll still give my annual $25 donation if you promise to send one of those cool magnets.

Twilight. Yes, I finished the first book. Somewhere between obsession and mocking, you'll find me standing there shrugging my shoulders going, "Eh." I am pretty easily amused, and I did enjoy reading a book that didn't involve advice on fixing my child's problem behaviors. However, the cheese factor of this book is HIGH. I mean really high. Even high for someone whose recent Netflix delivery was "Space Chimps." It was written for a teenage audience, and I think the writing style makes it hard to get past that. Plus, my mind's eye was stunted by the previews for the movie, since I've seen the guy who plays Edward and I don't find him dazzling whatsoever. If I had read the book earlier, I would have been able to picture Edward as a young Colin Firth, and Bella would have looked something like... well, me. (Hey, it's my imagination.) But I'll continue with the series, I'm interested in where it goes. It'll be slower now that DH is back from his trip and actually wants to talk to me after the baby goes to bed. He's romantic that way! But using the Netflix scale, I'd give it a 3 out of 5 stars ("liked it").

Thought of the day

Don't read scary vampire books if you are scared of the dark and your husband is away on a business trip.

If you must, it would probably be helpful to have a dog who is more menacing then a shower poofy.

Brainlessness strikes again

I'm sure I've mentioned a million times how my brain power has been decimated since becoming a mom. There is a cloudy haze around all of my thoughts, and my stream of consciousness can at best be labeled schizophrenic. Today, a dangerous combination of absentmindedness and sleep deprivation nearly produced disastrous results.

Bean was happily playing with his toys on the family room floor while the dog looked on from the couch. I decided to grab the few quiet minutes to load the dishwasher and empty the kitchen garbage can. The main garbage container is in the garage, so I picked up the kitchen bag and popped into the garage to dispose of it. When I reached for the door back into the house, I tried to turn the doorknob, but... nothing happened.

I silently cursed myself. I had locked it last night because DH is on a business trip, and no kidding I thought to myself as I did it, "I am going to lock myself out." See, it's one of those stupid doors that stays locked even though the handle turns easily from the inside when you leave. Why do they make those idiotic things anyway? Keeps emergency locksmiths in business, I suppose.

Anyway, realizing my mistake, my heart stopped beating and my mind started racing. I just locked my 9-month-old son and dog inside the house. What kind of mother does that? I do not really know any of my neighbors to help me. One woman was decorating her house with Christmas lights (per neighborhood code), I would have to throw myself on her mercy. Would the state take away my baby for being an unfit mother? How long would it be before 911 could break into my house? Will Bean be okay? AAAAARRRRGGGGGG!!!

Before bursting into tears, I decided to check the front door and back door to see if either was unlocked. Slim chance -- like putting on my seatbelt when I get in the car, locking the doors is something I do automatically. I ran to the front door and grabbed the knob and..... (drumroll please)... IT OPENED!!! I collapsed in the entryway and took deep breaths. My guardian angel was looking out for me. We had recently gotten home from the grocery store, and I had been holding Bean in one arm and a load of bags in the other when I walked inside, so I closed the door with my foot and proceeded into the kitchen. Forgetting, of course, to come back and lock it. Luckily, two stupid moves canceled each other out.

WHEW! So good or bad news for poor Bean, CFS is not going to take my child away from me. I kinda wish they'd come for the dog, though. I cannot keep that pooch out of the trash these days! Now I just leave the shredded items around the house instead of putting them back, because otherwise she'll just do it again. This saves both of us the trouble of moving them.

Anyway, let's hope the rest of DH's business trip passes without any additional coronaries. Unless for a happy reason, of course. He's in Vegas this week, and I asked him to play a few of those slots with the huge jackpots. I made him promise to call me immediately when he wins millions of dollars. I don't want to be surprised with diamond earrings and other extravagant gifts when he comes home, although I appreciate the thought. Let me know NOW, so I can order hardwood floors for the kitchen. I already know the number for Empire Today, that damn commercial haunts my darkest nightmares.

Backing up, we had a nice Thanksgiving at home. DH made turkey breast fillets with cranberry and orange stuffing as well as other yummy side dishes. On Saturday, his good friend and his wife visited from San Diego as they toured the Pacific Northwest. It took us 4 days to get the house into decent shape before they arrived, and they stayed for a total of 20 hours (including 7 hours of sleeping). It was rather anti-climactic. They left on Sunday morning, as did DH. I'm lonely without my man, of course, but I try to focus on the positive. Warm 106.9 fm has been filling our home with continuous Christmas favorites since his car left the driveway, and I am finally digging into the "Twilight" series that my mother-in-law got me for Christmas (we exchanged gifts during our November trip). I enjoy the story so far and love that it takes place in nearby Forks, Wash., although the writing style makes it hard for me to forget that it is aimed at a young adult audience. But as the last book I read involved a "roguish... distinguished nobleman" bedding a "fiery beauty" who "stuns polite society with her reckless exploits" in eighteenth century London, you know I am not too picky.

Other than listening to soft rock radio and reading late-adolescent fiction, I am trying to keep us busy so I don't entirely loose my marbles in DH's absence. We have three major outings this week: preschool, LLL meeting, and a meet-and-greet for our local chapter of the MOMS Club. As you can read on the web site, it is a support group designed for the "at-home mother of today." This ain't your mom's moms club! (I guess that means no giant perms or jazzercizing?) I've heard good things about it -- namely that one of the activities involves "stroller skating" at a roller rink -- so I'm going to check it out. I hope they like me.

And I know you just come here for the pictures, so here you go.

Happy Thanksgiving!

It is neat to look back at last year's Thanksgiving post and remember our first weeks in Seattle as I approached the third trimester of pregnancy. Since then, we've seen a lot of changes, a lot of excitement, a lot of stress and doubt, and a lot of laughter. After years of waiting and wondering, my greatest blessing has come in a small package. I never could have imagined what motherhood would be like -- how it has expanded my world, yet narrowed its focus. As Bean snuggled into me this morning, I was struck by how there is no place in the world either of us would rather be at that moment. I have so much to be thankful for, and above all, I am thankful that God delivered this sweet person into our family.


Next year, hopefully I can be thankful for 364 nights of good sleep. Any day now, little guy...

Happy Turkey Day to you and yours!

Splish splash

In true Bean fashion, it's been a bit difficult to transition him out of his infant bathtub. This is not a kid who likes change, and as he's too young to understand a bribe, I just try to be gentle with him. Even though his little head and feet stuck out of the ends of the baby tub for a couple of months now, he was determined not to graduate to the big scary one that mommy never uses anymore but hopes to one day again before she dies. A while back, I purchased an inflatable ducky for him to bathe in (it even quacks!), but he screamed bloody murder when I put him in. I suppose I don't blame him.

But... we had a breakthrough yesterday! He discovered the absolute joy of splashing water all over the place, plus he realized that getting your hair washed was not excruciatingly painful. We had an entire bath without tears. Maybe he felt more comfortable with the dog serving as lifeguard, who knows. As proof of this miracle, I can finally offer you the obligatory cute baby bath pictures.

Be my guest

We finished the guest room!

BEFORE (previous owner)

AFTER

And here is a close-up of the Bean pic that is framed on the nightstand. It's from his professional 6 month shots. I never did post those... maybe I'll remember and do that sometime soon. Or maybe not.

So when are you going to come stay with us?

Carried away

First, a recap/update of the past three days.

• I was not killed in a mall shooting.
• After applying the fourth coat of white paint to some wooden letters to hang up in Bean's nursery, I was reminded of the importance of reading product labels when I learned of the existence of "semi-opaque" white paint. Twelve coats later, we're almost to opaque. (It's the principle of the matter now.)
• Yesterday I spent over an hour and a half in the grocery store. Thumbs up to other pre-Thanksgiving shoppers, who did a great job of navigating the carts so aisle traffic was relatively smooth. Thumbs down to the check-out clerk, who had no sense of urgency and an unnecessary focus on perfection when bagging groceries. You are not playing Tetris, we just need to get our food into the car and then into the house. Thanks.
• We learned that our homeowner's association mandates that each house be decorated for Christmas, unless you have religious objections. Being naturally defiant, we are considering converting to Buddhism.
• I was right, "the cheese stands alone" is the last verse of The Farmer in the Dell. Best nursery rhyme ever.
• DH painted the guest room, as his friends are staying with us over Thanksgiving weekend and I wanted (him) to make it nice in there. The walls look AMAZING -- pictures to follow when the room is set up -- and now I feel like the rest of the house is crap in comparison.
• Evey Louise has rediscovered her puppyhood habit of removing items from the garbage cans, shredding them, and scattering them around various areas the house. While I appreciate her doing her part to redecorate the rest of the rooms, we apparently have differing ideas on which of mommy's used personal items are appropriate for guests to see.
• This morning I had the pleasure of meeting Jen from Despite the Best Laid Plans... We have been following each other's blogs for over a year and finally got together for coffee. She is super friendly, we immediately starting chatting like we had known each other for years. Jen and baby Jillian both look fantastic, and they are already getting more sleep at 7 weeks than we are at 8 months. Luckily I'm not bitter.

Now, I will address a comment from two posts ago, left by my college BFF and maid-of-honor at our wedding, Kristin. I thought I detected a bit of sarcasm aimed at my modest collection of baby carriers, so I am opening it up for her (and your) review. It's not nearly as fabulous of a stash as others have, but it works for us.

The official carrier count, in the order they were acquired...

1. We registered for a BabyBjorn because it's one of the few carriers at BRU, and there are stylish, attractive European people wearing it in their advertisements. It's not terrible, certainly the dog liked it. And DH wore it several times with the baby, too. But the design is not the most comfortable (nor ergonomically correct) for the wearer or the baby.

2. When Bean was a newborn, I heard people rave about their Moby wraps. Finding myself plus one baby who refuse to be calm unless he was snuggled up with someone, I decided it was worth a shot. Bingo! It was like he never left the womb. Sort of. There are many different ways you can wrap the Moby, but I used it most for the front-carry position when he was tiny. Now that he's bigger, I don't often have the patience to fuss with all that fabric, and it's too stretchy for long-term wearing with a heavy baby. At our recent babywearing meeting, our group leader used a tighter cotton weave wrap with her 1.5 year old, and it was super cool. So I'm keeping my Moby for perhaps a future newborn (please!), but I'd love to get one made of different fabric for now when I'm in the mood to wrap. Because really, wraps are the most comfortable carrier once they are on.

3. I got my first sling when I saw an unpadded Slinglings on MamaBargains.com for only $15. What an amazing invention. The fitted slings are great because they fold up very small into the diaper bag for traveling, and I can pop him on my hip in about 30 seconds. I use it all the time when I am running errands and want my hands free in the stores, or when we have a long walk from the car to our destination (such as at the doctor's office when we have to park in the parking garage and walk to the office area of the hospital). Doesn't he look happy?

4. Next was my first major purchase, a Calyx from Mama by Design. As Bean grew and still loved being carried, I wanted to wear him in the back carry position for more convenience. This is now my favorite one. It's so nice to be free to fold laundry, empty the dishwasher, and do other chores around the house while satisfying his desire to be close to me. I wore it on Saturday when we hit a bunch of stores along a strip mall, no stroller to navigate and he fell asleep with his sweet little face snuggled into my back. Precious! And it's super comfortable, too.

5. When doing research on ring slings for a new baby gift for my friend Allison, I selected a Maya Lightly Padded Sling based on mommy reviews. Of course I got the bug, too, and had to have one for myself. When DH's employer gave us a $50 gift card to Amazon.com, I knew exactly how to spend it. This carrier is definitely Bean's favorite, as it offers the widest range of vision and provides easy access for him to grab whatever I have in my hands (such as the camera). It takes longer to put on than the fitted slings, but the adjustability and light padding at the shoulder make it more comfortable for longer periods of time.

6. Next I set my eyes on a mei tai. I specifically wanted it for the front carry position, as the Moby is too stretchy now and the Calyx is a bit bulky for that. You may remember this post from about a month ago when I mentioned my field trip to the baby carrier warehouse. I ended up with a Napsack Baby, which is so comfortable I can hardly tell there is almost 20 pounds strapped to my stomach. I used it in the airport, I was actually able to get him in there without waking him so I could have both hands free to lug a ridiculous amount of luggage all by myself. My next task is to try to practice using it as a back carrier, because I have a suspicion I will like that, too.

7. When I was at the Attached to Baby warehouse, the owner Sara offered me one of the padded Slinglings from the returns for a deeply discounted price. Seriously, what was I going to say, NO?! It's got padding at the legs so that it's more comfortable for Bean. Come on, it's his COMFORT we are talking about.

And that's all of them: 7! I *heart* babywearing because it allows me to go about my day even though Bean loves to be held so much. He gets to be close to me and can participate (sort of) in the things that I do around the house. It's also convenient for quick trips, shopping, and other times when I'd like my hands free. In return for the deluxe ride, Bean must endure constant head kisses from his mom. It's pretty much win-win. I grab one carrier over another based on what I'm doing and what I'm wearing.

But don't think that because of this, my house is clean. Or I've cooked dinner. Or I've accomplished anything significant today. Let's be realistic. I had to type this post, didn't I?