I am abandoning my attempt for a real blog post, and instead I'll give a quick update in bullet form. Such is life right now.
- Status: Much better than a week ago. Which is relative, of course. No one would look at me and say "Wow, you look great..." without following it with a "...for just having twins." But I no longer walk like I'm hoping to land a part as a gunslinger in a Western flick, and I no longer sob uncontrollably when I burn my grilled cheese sandwich. Physical and emotional stability = a very, very good thing.
- I must qualify the first bullet to say that the only reason I'm doing so well right now is because of all the help I have. When DH goes back to work, my mom leaves, and my friends stop bringing meals, I will be totally screwed. Stay tuned for the fun!
- Another reason I am doing better is that breastfeeding has been getting easier. The kiddos are catching onto the process and my supply is increasing. I am still topping them off with formula after certain feedings via the wonderful/horrible supplemental nursing system, but it's much, much less these days. Hoping to make it over the hump to full breastmilk soon so I can lose the cumbersome contraption. Or at least survive until I'm ready to introduce the bottle, maybe another week or two. In the meantime, I am a walking advertisement for Denny's, as my fenugreek supplements (to boost supply) have the side effect of making me smell like maple syrup. Hmmmm... maybe I can turn this into a lucrative sponsorship. Can I interest anyone in a Grand Slam? Tell them Sunny sent you.
- Related to breastfeeding, I am feeling a bit stir-crazy in the house. After bedrest and then limited activity while I waited to deliver, I feel like it's been ages since I've been a part of the real world. I would love to get out and about with my mom, DH, and the munchkins (so much mall time to recoup!), but because of the supplemental nursing system, I am hesitant to do anything other than very brief jaunts between feedings. I strongly believe in a woman's -- and baby's -- right to nurse in public, but I don't think it's right to flash innocent bystanders while positioning the tube and trying to get a kiddo latched to it properly. It's true the girls never look better than when I'm nursing, but I'm holding off on their big debut until I get offered the big bucks for a magazine spread. I'll keep you posted on that.
- The sleep deprivation isn't as difficult to deal with as it was with Bean, although I'm getting fewer hours of shut eye with the twins than I did with him. I recently heard (or read?) that once you become a mother, you never sleep as soundly as you did before you had kids. I imagine this is true... even before the twins with Bean sleeping through the night, I would jolt awake at even a sigh coming from his room. I can see how this will still be the case even when they are teens and adults, keeping one ear open for the click of the front door or the ring of the telephone. Seeing as I haven't slept completely soundly in over two years, I guess the shock of the newborn phase doesn't quite have the power it had before. Interesting note: Dads do not appear to suffer from this chronic inability to return to deep sleep after having a child.
- Bonding with the twins has been so much easier than I thought. They immediately filled vacancies in my heart that I didn't know existed -- all the worries about loving them less than Bean (what if they aren't as cute?) have disappeared. Although DH and I obviously love the both of the twins to pieces, we have each sort of "claimed" one of them. Twin A is mine, and Twin B is DH's. This is going to work out well for me, because Twin B (our spunky little guy) will definitely be giving us more trouble as he gets older. Hope DH is up for the challenge. At least he'll be well rested from sleeping soundly at night.
- My two-year-old is now huge. And heavy. This applies to his physical characteristics as well as the contents of his diapers. Good lord.
- I am insanely behind all communications, from email responses to blog reading and comments. It took me 3 months to get caught up after Bean, but I'm hoping to do better this time. Please bear with me, I miss you and I'm working on getting back in touch!
Navigating my mid-30s with five fabulous men at my side: my dear husband (DH), our first grader (Bean), our pre-K twins (Nix and Gax), and a spunky toddler (Littlest). Stick around for blogging about parenthood after infertility, trashy romance novels, the quest for the perfect cupcake, and my newfound love of the Pacific Northwest.