Those of you who know
I checked the studio's web site for directions. Their site boasts, "We offer the most exciting, challenging, hardworking, effective yoga classes in the world." Questionable grammar aside (can a yoga class be hardworking?), imagine my delight at discovering that I live within driving distance of the most effective yoga class in the world. Because if I am going to expend any of my precious little energy for the purpose of physical fitness and emotional enlightenment, instead of watching Scrubs and eating ice cream like a reasonable human being would, the class better be the most effective. In the world.
I silently prayed that DH would be delayed in leaving work so I would miss the class, smugly confident that the odds were in my favor for that one. But alas, I saw his cell phone on our caller ID at 6 pm and knew me and my baby weight would be hauling ourselves to class. He arrived home, I put the baby to bed, and with nerves churning in my stomach, I resignedly left the house. I drove the insultingly low speed limit on the highway, which I usually reserve for occasions when I spot a cop, but I didn't want to get there early and wander around in confusion waiting for my friend.
I pulled into the parking lot, straight into God's cruel joke. The studio was nestled between a Cold Stone Creamery and a See's Candy shop. And what towered behind but a movie theater, playing "Twilight" nonetheless, which I had really wanted to see in the theater. *sigh* I called DH for some moral direction. "Do whatever will bring you home to me with a smile on your face," he advised. Note to self: don't call DH when in need of moral direction.
I spotted another preschool mom and her husband in the studio, thank goodness. I signed up at the reception desk (newbie special, 10 classes for $10) and sat nervously with them in the lobby. Our other friend arrived, and finally it was time to enter. My friends and I chatted about bed times and nap schedules as the room filled, occasionally shooting eye daggers when a skinny would enter sporting a toned tummy, tight shorts, and a sports bra. (Or maybe it was just me doing that.) Then the teacher introduced herself. She was probably 5 months pregnant but could still kick my butt six ways to Sunday. She laid the ground rules -- NO LEAVING THE ROOM before it's over, under penalty of death -- and we began.
Seeing as though I had never done so much as a downward facing dog in my entire life, it was hard for me to keep up with the poses. As soon as I figured one out, it was on to the next. (This is power yoga, too. Did I mention that? Which means none of that holding-a-position-for-two-minutes-while-the-ocean-waves-lap-calmly-in-the-background that you see on Sunday morning TV. This stuff is fast.) On top of being new to the yoga moves, I had never previously experienced the feeling that I was going to sweat all my organs out through my pores. Having heard that everyone drips sweat the entire time, I expected the room to be stinky. But either all my nose hairs got burned off or the heat vaporized the smell, because that was never a problem. I did the best I could, taking some time-outs periodically to rest and rehydrate. That being said, I dare say that I held my own with my two friends, who had gone to the class before. After it was over, they praised how well I kept up and expressed disbelief that I had never done yoga before. I thanked them and mumbled something about not being sure I was doing it correctly, but inside I was thinking, "BOO YAH!"
I drove home, feeling lightheaded and a bit nauseated. I'm sure there's a really good reason why people do this regularly. When I looked in the bathroom mirror, I half expected to have lost five pounds of water weight -- now that would be a reason to keep going. Of course I looked exactly the same as when I left. Bummer. I'm not sure how often I'll be able to attend the class, as DH is under a tight deadline and will probably be working past 8 pm through at least this week. Ice cream and Scrubs it is!
**I know I'm overdue to post an update and some pictures of my soon-to-be one year old (gasp). I'll try to do that later this week... it's a busy one!