Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Just this and that

...So I have been dying to blog about this, for, like, EVER. One day I was watching TV and I saw a commercial for Chili's. I wouldn't list Chili's among my favorite restaurants, but it reminded me of the one near our house back in St. Louis. DH and I would go there every now and then, and I always enjoyed their chips and salsa. So I open up my laptop and search for Chili's locations around Seattle. Ahh, here we go, one result. That's odd... it's at Seatac International Airport. CONCOURSE D, GATE 7. I kid you not. There is only ONE Chili's in greater Seattle, and you have to buy an airline ticket to eat there. Can someone tell me why in God's name they would spend advertising dollars here, that being the case? I mean, I can't imagine seeing that commercial and getting such a craving for Chili's that I'd plunk down the cash for a ticket to Portland just to nosh on their Baby Back Ribs before I board my plane. Marketing genius, I tell you.

... Bean loves to "write" with pens on paper, just like mommy and daddy do. When I saw these washable markers for toddlers at the store, I thought they'd be a great first art supply for him to play with. The box advertises that the design fits perfectly into tiny hands. Just what a mom like me is looking for! Into the cart you go! But you know what else fits perfectly into tiny hands? Small balls. Which are exactly what these resemble, although I didn't realize it until Bean chucked the open markers across the room and clapped proudly. So I spent money on the darn things, and they are sitting on a table far out of Bean's reach. Well done, marketing industry. Genius indeed.

... Last month, our dog turned 3 years old. (I know, I didn't post about it. I'm such a bad poochy mama! Not to be confused with hoochy mama, of course. I'm an awesome one of those.) Anyway, the folks at Petco remembered her birthday, even if DH and I didn't, and they sent us a coupon for a free doggy treat. I popped in one day, grabbed the treat off the shelf, and went to the cash register with the coupon. I was not expecting to open my wallet and was shocked when she said, "That'll be 49 cents in tax." Seriously? I am being unreasonable here in finding that totally uncool?

... So I'm on the Consumer Product Safety Commission email list, which means I get a nifty little note every time there is a recall on any products relating to children. I'm sure this has been mentioned by many people before, but I feel compelled to point it out myself. About 25% of the items being recalled are hooded sweatshirts, because the drawstrings are a strangulation hazard. Really, manufacturers, is there a reason you can't think ahead and NOT include a drawstring on your sweatshirt? It doesn't really seem that complicated. I mean, the lead paint problems, sure... you look at the Dora the Explorer doll and can't tell that her shiny coating is just waiting to cause damage to little Cindy's brain and nervous system. But it's not hard to miss that YOUR SWEATSHIRT HAS A FRIGGIN' DRAWSTRING ON IT. It's going to get recalled. Just trying to help.

... Bean is finally drinking a small amount of cow's milk. PLEASE tell me this is a step in the right direction:

... Speaking of Bean, he finally hit that all-important milestone: At just shy of 16 months old, he received his first credit card application in the mail. Way to go, banking industry. You are totally fixing the economy for us now.

... I imagine between the scandals and the economy, the Catholic Church doesn't quite see the revenue they used to. But really, is it so bad over there that they have to rent out the Pope-mobile? Because I swear to God (heh) that it is delivering ice cream in my neighborhood this summer. I tried to get a picture, but as I thought my neighbors might frown at me running frantically down the street with Bean in my arms, trying to snap pictures of their kids licking popsicles, I decided instead to do a little mock-up of what it looks like. Weird, huh?

... I worked at the MOMS Club booth at the town fair on Saturday, handing out info and talking with families about our chapter. During the lulls, I would sit down and people watch. Which is normally a great way to pass time. Until it dawned on me that there was a disproportionately large segment of freaky people who apparently live in our town. Not like good, diverse, interesting freaky people... but like... freaky freaky people. Hopefully they were bussed in.
... Can someone please give me a pep talk to finally watch The Curious Case of Benjamin Button? It's been clogging up our Netflix queue for almost two months now. It just seems so long and dramatic -- like the serious version of Jonathan Winters playing Mork and Mindy's baby on Mork and Mindy. Fully grown adult pops out of an egg... he's young but he's old... wow, how interesting. Usually I'm not one for dramas anyway, but I've heard so many references for this movie since it's come out, I figure we should watch it just to keep up with pop culture. Please, tell me something to make me watch this movie so I can get on to gems like "Confessions of a Shopaholic" and "Paul Blart: Mall Cop."
... I love quick and easy lunches. Many of those are of the frozen variety. Something I've noticed recently, all of the boxes instruct me to use a meat thermometer to check on the internal temperature of the chicken I just nuked in my microwave. I mean, are other people really following this direction? Bringing a meat thermometer to work to check on their Healthy Choice chicken parmigiana before they eat it? I bought a meat thermometer three years ago and have yet to take it out the packaging. I refuse to do that. I hope I don't die.
... I have been lusting after some Blueberry diapers on my favorite cloth diaper web site. Tell me his buns wouldn't be adorable in these:

So I asked DH pleeeease could I order them? And he sighed and looked at me and said, "Honey, if Bean needs them, of course you can get them. But we don't have the extra money if you just want them." CURSES! I guess technically I don't need them... we are surviving with what we have. But in all honesty, it would be easier to have a few more, as it relieves the pressure of having to wash them all every other day. So I thought and thought and thought. How could I come up with the extra cash? What can I sell? Legally, of course, which is very limiting. I could go through the boxes in the loft or garage to find stuff, but we haven't had the motivation to do that in the past year that we've lived in this house, and three cloth diapers ain't gonna do it. So I'm thinking of posting my resume writing service on craigslist instead. (Remember, I am a Certified Professional Resume Writer! For reals!) And I'm throwing this out there to you, too, bloggy friends. If you would like your resume spruced up, drop me a line! Or maybe you are just so moved by the udder cuteness (snicker) of these diapers and just want to send me money. Either way, you know where to find me. I'm right here.


Martha said...

Great randomness and super cute diaper covers. A credit card application for your baby? So strange.

Kristina P. said...

How is it possible that there is a Starbucks on every corner in Seattle, and only one Chilis?!?1

And definitely watch Bejamin Button. It's long, but it's worth it. This is coming from someone who hates long movies.

Michelle said...

Those are so super cute! Gotta love the Chillis in the airport...huh? That make no sense. love their mini cheeseburgers with onion strings which are the best.

Anonymous said...

OMG I am dying laughing at this post! I think you should write a product review blog and make big bucks snarking on other products (is snarking a word?). At the OT in me must tell you to ditch those markers in favor of the triangular shaped crayons, much better for the development of fine motor coordination and they won't get confused with a ball!

lisawitt said...

Ditto on the crayons!! I bought "paint" type ones and we use them outside...but same issue...BALL! :)

Mary-where do we get these triangular shaped crayons??

Very good post, I love the randomness!

Red said...

I can not agree more with the crayola review. I bought Champ the same product, but with crayons inside instead. He never uses them, and if he does he just eats the crayon part and moves on (I don't know when he is suppost to grow out of this everyhting in the mouth stage but I hope that it is soon!).

Cute nappies, we have received Champ's cloth ones and I love them! I'll do a post about them soon.

Nicky said...

The solution to all your problems:

1. Accept Bean's credit card offer.

2. Have Bean sign the offer letter with his fabulous new markers.

3. When Bean receives his shiny new credit card in the mail, he can use it to buy himself the diapers.

4. Since Bean (I assume) has very few assets and no income, he can ignore the credit card bill.

5. When they try to collect from Bean, help Bean to declare bankruptcy. It'll stay on his credit report for 7 years, but unless he's going to need to buy a car or get a mortgage before he turns 8, it'll probably be okay.

Just sayin'..... :)

Justin said...

How's this for inspiration: I turned off Benjamin Button. I got bored with it 45 minutes in and didn't want to sit through another 105 minutes of it. Go for Confessions. It's pretty dumb and the writing isn't particularly good, but amusing in its own silliness.

IF Optimist, then... said...

A great post and I give Nicky a standing ovation for her comment. I am in love with those diaper covers. The little COW! NOM NOM NOM

Jen said...

Honestly I started reading your post 2 hours ago but I was interrupted by a small hungry child who then demanded food, a bath and then to be put to bed. I have to say that I was cracking up when I first started and I'm still laughing now.

Jeramy burned Benjamin Button when we got it from Netflix. Still haven't seen it though.

You'd think a professional resume writer could get a lot of business in this economy. Of course unemployed people don't exactly have a lot of spare change I guess. I like Nicky's idea better.

momofonefornow said...

I don't even know where to begin. This post had me cracking up. Loved the hoochie mama thing!

I am totally with you on the BB thing. I feel like I am supposed to want to watch it, but I don't. I am entirely freaked out by the thought of Brad Pitt from beginning to end. I mean, I couldn't fantasize about him properly if I was picturing him in a baby diaper or a Depends. You know? Creepy.

Anonymous said...

I know what you mean about restaurants that have commercials on TV yet are impossible to get to... Jon and I both love Sonic, and yet the closest one is in NJ. Therefore, while visiting Chicago and Cleveland last week, we drove the five hours instead of flying so that we could stop for an Ultimate Drink Stop in Toledo. Hope you're well! :-)