Weaned

Well, I think it's time to call it official.

The Beaner is a weaner.

We are breastfeeding no more.

For quite a few months, we had been nursing twice a day -- before nap and before bed. Sometimes at night if he woke up sick or scared.

He nursed through the first weeks of the pregnancy on this loose schedule without a problem. Then either taste or supply must have changed, and he was less interested. We'd miss a session here or there.

I was sort of ambivalent about tandem nursing (i.e. continuing to nurse him after the baby was born). When I found out there wouldn't be so much a BABY being born as BABIES -- well, let's just say I was less ambivalent and more determined that he would be completely weaned before the spring. I thought it wise to keep a balance in the boob-to-baby ratio.

Fortunately, Bean was hearing my silent wish. (Yet he ignores my verbal wishes... maybe I should consider telepathically telling him not to yank the cords out of the wall sockets? I smell a lucrative book deal in my future!) Anyway, I really didn't want to have to actively wean him. We had both worked so hard in the first months to get this nursing relationship off the ground. I've mentioned before how I felt like a failure at conception and a failure at delivery; this was the one thing my body and I could do right. After what Bean and I had been through together, I was loathe to deny him that part of our connection if he wanted it.

Breastfeeding was, in a way, part of my rehabilitation following infertility.

Although the pregnancy certainly sped up the weaning process, I like to think it was still natural for both of us. He was not at all upset when our nursing sessions gave way to snuggle sessions. And I wasn't either.

Every few days he would still ask to nurse (by taking his binky out of his mouth and handing it to me when we snuggled), and I obliged. But for the past couple of weeks, nothing. The girls and I are not offended. I'm thrilled that I have no recollection of when our last session was. If I had known at the time, I'm sure I would have sobbed uncontrollably. Because I tend to do that these days. Heck, I have tears rolling down my face when the Laurie Berkner Band sings "My Family" on the Noggin preschool channel. (Don't judge until you've heard it.) (There are many ways to make up a family, and they are all beautiful.) (Sniff.)

So that, my friends, seems to be that. The girls will be resting until the spring when we welcome our two new nurslings into the world. I plan to do much research, chat virtually with other breastfeeding twin moms, and reconnect with my local LLL group before that point.

But in the meantime, I'm fondly remembering 18 (mostly) happy months of nursing my darling Bean. Thank you for the memories, sweet boy. I love you to pieces.