The Name Game

My Mom can name anything, anywhere, instantly. If she sees a strange dog walking through the neighborhood, she pulls over the car, rolls down her window, and commands, "Go home, Cooper (or Sherman or Grover or etc.), go home boy!" Because she just knows that is the name of that dog, or her new car, or the wooden parrot perched on their condo balcony.

Unfortunately, like several of my mother's talents, this is not an ability that I have inherited. I don't recall naming many of the hermit crabs that my brother and I had as pets growing up, instead leaving that to him. During his "Friends" phase, we had Phoebe and Chandler, and during his "adjective" phase we had Speedy. Normally it didn't matter anyway, since they rarely lived more than a few months. Although we had one crab, Nikki, that we got for Christmas (named for Jolly Old Saint Nick) that would NOT die. When my brother and I went away to college, Nikki lived in a glass case in my Dad's office upstairs, where she (he?) dined on bologna-and-cheese sandwiches and Hershey's chocolate bars at Dad's amusement. I don't think my parents remembered to tell me Nikki had finally kicked the bucket until several weeks after the actual event. My Dad said he didn't miss the crab whatsoever, but I secretly wondered if he shed a tear in private. And you can't tell me they weren't sharing the chocolate.

Anyway, the first real important name that DH and I had to choose was for our pooch. With our 9-week-old 5-lb fluff ball curled sleeping in his arms, DH proposed "Evey" after Natalie Portman's character in a movie we had recently watched. I was just kinda meh about it, but in the absence of a better suggestion, I agreed. Shortly afterward, I added Louise as her middle name so I would have something longer to yell at her when she was being bad -- which, seeing as she was a puppy, was constantly. Evey Louise soon grew right into her name (or vice versa?) and now I think it's absolutely perfect.

Fast forward a year... and we had a baby on the way. We found out early at 11 weeks that it was likely a boy, so when I finally emerged from my pregnancy denial, we could at least narrow down all the baby names in the world by half. A good start. I had always loved the name we eventually gave to Bean, I have lots of positive associations with it, but I was worried it was too sing-songy when put with our last name. We combed the baby name books for another option, but after he was born and we met him, DH and I felt like the name suited him just perfectly, and the deal was sealed.

Sorry, dude. Sing-songy for you.

Now, obviously, we are faced with another great naming challenge. Not only is my favorite name already taken by my favorite Bean, but there are TWO babies, both boys, names must sound good with our last name (or we could go with a whole sing-songy theme), names must sound good with each other but not be too matchy for our tastes.

DH dug out the ginormous baby name book that we used with Bean -- containing almost 55,000 names. Which seemed like a good purchase at the time, until you really think about how 54,369 of those names must naturally be incredibly stupid and are actually distracting as you look through the pages. Adjanys? Dweezil? Zap? Car? Really, Car? Now you aren't even taking this seriously. This is my son, Car. His name means "mid-sized motorized vehicle." Pretty awesome, huh?

Anyway, one name has really clicked for me, and after my brow-beating gentle suggestions, DH has come around to it as well. Hooray! After hearing that Twin A is two ounces bigger than Twin B, I have started thinking of Twin A by this name... because, I don't know, it seems like a good name for a chunker.

That leaves us with Twin B. DH has made two suggestions for this baby, and either one I would be okay with. Okay with. But I am afraid that since neither DH nor I are as enthusiastic about these possible names as we are about Bean's and Twin A's, that poor Twin B is already set up for a life of being the least favorite person in the family. He's "Twin B" after all, second fiddle to Twin A even in the womb, not to mention trying to live up to the perfection of his oldest brother! And what if he's not as adorable or smart as our other two children? Having a mediocre name will only contribute to the downward spiral of Twin B. DH and I would obviously try not to show our preference throughout the years, but could we hide it? What about the kids in school when they are making friends? Will he live at home until he's 35, but resent us the entire time? Will he ever find his personal success and happiness in life, with the cloud of third-favorite name hanging over his head constantly? A disaster waiting to happen.

This is where you come in. Miss MVK recently had a post soliciting suggestions for naming the second of her own Les Twinks. I was trolling her comments last night to steal borrow glean inspiration from the responses when DH asked the age-old question "Whatcha doin'?" When I told him, he responded, "You should post on that, too." Since I always do everything my husband says, this is it: my official plea for help in naming our unfortunate Twin B.

Only you can save him from a life of disappointment.

I know, it's hard to offer a name when you don't know Twin A's name, or perhaps our last name. We have decided not to reveal our final name choice(s) for either baby until the birth, because we are completely annoying like that. And an FYI, we gravitate towards traditional names -- or at least something you will find on a mini license plate or coffee mug. So those of you who were going to suggest Orth or Weebie... well, thanks anyway.

Otherwise, our ears are open!

UPDATE: I will have a little prize for whoever suggests the "winning" name for the second twin. To be awarded after they are born and names are finalized. Excluded are the three names we have already picked. Thanks for playing!