I could use a drink

A brief review of my week. Implied, of course, are all the usual daily happenings like performing minor miracles to convince Bean that his food belongs in his mouth and not on the floor, and squirting the dog with water to prevent her from overzealously protecting our house from the skinny kindergartner with Spiderman sneakers.

Monday.

• DH leaves for week-long business trip. I take a deep breath.
• Run errands, including trip to the ATM. Stand outside in the rain, balance Bean on my hip as he tries to press the touchscreen, and try not to drop my purse while filling out the deposit envelope. Curse the greater Seattle area for not believing in drive-thru ATMs.
• Read books to Bean, including one about Danny Duck, who is afraid of water and stands under Henry Horse to avoid the rain. Give Bean a brief lesson on enabling and codependency. After moving on to a book about mischievous piglets who wreak havoc on a farm, consider teaching him where bacon comes from. Maybe tomorrow.
• Timing of afternoon nap means we don't make it to mall gathering with MOMS Club. Shopping trip nap casualty #1.
• Bean goes to bed for the evening, I'm feeling good. Decide I will decimate to-do list in DH's absence. Install baby gate, pay bills, and type up tips on early breastfeeding for two friends due in March.

Tuesday.

• Take Evey (and Bean) to the vet. Immediately after walking in, Evey takes a huge crap in the middle of the floor. Clean it up with paper towel in one hand while holding the leash and Bean in the other. Discuss with vet how to get dog to stop licking her butt while juggling Bean to keep him from crawling on the exam room floor. She recommends adding Metamucil to dog food to help clean her glands. Use $10 coupon and pay the remaining $60 bill.
• Practice making grilled cheese for playdate on Thursday. Burn one side of the sandwich. There really is an art.
• Bean turns in for the night. Start cleaning the house for the playdate to the tune of wanna-be singers auditioning for American Idol.

Wednesday.

• Answer call from the mom of twins suppose to come over for playdate on Thursday. They have RSV, have to cancel. No need to finish cleaning the house.
• As we are leaving for preschool, find a sweet and frightened golden retriever at our front door. Unsuccessfully try to locate the owners (collar does not have a tag). Dog leads me to what is likely her house, and after not getting an answer at the door, I leave her sprawled comfortably on the porch.
• Spend most of preschool worrying about the dog and berate myself for leaving her alone.
• After preschool, immediately ring doorbell at house where I left the golden retriever, who is no longer on the porch. Dog comes to answer the door, a human doesn't. I'm satisfied.
• Have panic attack about planning Bean's first birthday party. What if no one comes? What if everyone comes? What if the cake doesn't match the invitations? Call my mom to bait her into coordinating the details; ignore tiny voice in my head mumbling about codependency. Crisis solved.
• Bean goes to bed. The motivation of earlier in the week has dwindled. Flop on couch to watch another two hours of American Idol, and despite not caring for the show whatsoever, I am totally hooked.

Thursday.

• Feeling stir crazy, I hope to attend a mall meet-up with the LLL group at 10 am. Bean goes down for a nap at 9:45 am. Shopping trip nap casualty #2.
• Must leave house. Faced with limited opportunities, we go on our one outing of the day: back to the ATM for another check deposit. At least it's not raining this time.
• Bean burns some energy crawling around the main floor. Somehow crosses the family room and kitchen in 2.3 seconds. I hear splashing; find him playing in the dog's heavy ceramic water dish. I grab video camera. He overturns the bowl, creating a big puddle in the kitchen, just as the caller ID lights up with my mother-in-law's number.
• Bath time for Bean. Undress him in his bedroom to put wet clothes in the hamper. Stand him up on bathroom floor, his little hands holding onto to the side of the tub while I fill his ducky bath. He decides to relieve himself before getting in and uses the linoleum as his own personal urinal. I guess it's better than peeing in the bathwater.
• Bean falls asleep for the night. Type blog entry and run out of time to watch my click flick; DH will have to suffer through a romantic comedy with Dane Cook and Kate Hudson. I don't feel bad.

DH's plane lands on Friday at noon, I can't wait. Then after a brief recovery and some seriously killer spicy chicken teriyaki, we'll be spending the weekend negotiating with used car salesmen as we get ready to turn in my lease car and purchase one. Would anyone care to join me for a Bloody Mary?