Sunday, January 17, 2010

80%

Sundays are my new favorite day of the week. I anxiously await that email from babycenter.com, giving me permission for a small celebration that another seven days have passed.

Today, I am 27 weeks pregnant. There is a four out of five chance our babies will survive if they are born now. It's a statistic that is both comforting and terrifying at the same time.

But I am grateful. Before bedrest, the weeks flew by, I hardly paid attention. Now, every day is hard-earned. Every day, my babies have a better chance of surviving, of being healthy.

My mood has become less stable, even as the babies grow stronger; I try to stay positive but the cloud of worry hangs over my bed. I am dreading my OB appointment on Wednesday because I don't want any bad news, yet I am nervous about waiting 8 days between check-ups. The house is running smoothly with my Mom staying with us, yet I am concerned about how DH and Bean will function without her, especially when I am in the hospital. I want the babies to bake as long as possible, yet I have little confidence that we can handle extended bedrest and hospitalization.

And as I learn more about the NICU, it's scary that this could likely be the easy part of getting the babies home safely.

It is a very gloomy post today, I'm sorry. I have been looking forward to this day, a Sunday, all week -- but I'm grumpy nevertheless. Maybe it's the dreary, rainy Seattle winter outside my window. Maybe it's the newest Harry Potter movie we watched last night, I forgot how depressing that book was. Maybe it's because the overwhelming blue paint that the previous owners chose for the master bedroom makes me feel like I'm trapped inside a giant blueberry.

But as far as an update goes, that's really all I've got. I'm hanging in there. Nothing disastrous has happened since my last post. Next OB visit is Wednesday afternoon. The babies flip and kick constantly, as if to provide a comforting reminder that they are strong and determined. My bed is full of the crumby evidence of countless meals and snacks, despite the dog's best attempts to remedy that, but at least my electric leg shaver arrived from the merciful folks at Amazon.com.

For today, we are all okay.

And on a better note, I farmed the camera for some shots of my little munchkin. He really is a riot these days. He talks up a storm, with new words (and instructions for the rest of us) cropping up constantly. And he's really bonded with my mom -- having consistency of care again means a better behaved Bean. And a happier house overall.

Bean gets some love from Grandpa B. and Grandma C. during our Christmas visit.



Anyone up for some football?


It may not be as exciting as a ball, but he enjoys his radio-controlled car.


Bean shows off his new smile-for-the-camera squinty face. The dog is not impressed.



Bean likes to eat his meals in bed with mama as much as possible. Here he munches on some "toes with pepper" (aka toast with cinnamon and sugar).



Grandma M. purchased a tray, now we are really dining in style.




Photobucket


30 comments:

MrsSpock said...

J is supremely envious of Bean's breakfasting in bed. His mother is an evil harridan who makes him sit at the table.But he thinks that since Bean's mommy is stuck in bed, he'll forgive him this one.

I hope this week flies by swiftly!.

Lavender Luz said...

Well, here's hoping for many more celebrations courtesy babycenter, and that 80% inching up to 100%.

Have I said lately that Bean is so cute? He is.

K said...

Trust me- the whole weeks dragging- totally get it- it S-U-C-K-S! I can only imagine that bedrest makes things tougher than ever what with the constant time to think and think and no means to escape a blueberry room. Having never been in that situation I'm not sure I have any good advice to offer but if you want good book suggestions I'll be happy to send some to you! (The Help- is a good book!)

Congrats on another milestone though, you're trucking through! Your little guy is absolutely adorable!

Jen said...

Hang in there. I'm really pulling for some good news on Wednesday.

Michelle said...

Well I hope you have many Sunday's to celebrate! I am so sorry that this is happening and can only imagine how tough it is. Hang in there you are doing a great job momma!

Expectant Duck said...

Fabulous! Monday is my GREAT day - 21 weeks tomorrow.

Kristina P. said...

Those babies, and you, will be fine. Dreary days and weeks are the worst!

jingle said...

There will be magics in everything you do,
there will be treasures (your babies) waiting for you,
all your dreams will definitely come true,
tomorrow, your feelings will anew...

Be you,
Be free,
Everything will work out
and a smooth birth will await,
nothing to worry about.

...

Grandest wishes, Sunny!
You Can Take It,
You Will Make It! :) :)

AFD said...

You are a wonderful mother and will be a wonderful mother to 2 more little boys in SEVERAL more weeks. :) I am always thinking about you. Did a nice mail carrier deliver anything from WI lately???

Lisa said...

That photo with the tray is awesome. One more week down!

Sarah said...

Still in our thoughts...as always! How long is mama staying? When does she head back? How big is your freezer?

Coffeegrl said...

One more week to go before another party! One step closer each day...It sounds like things are going swimmingly with your mom around. I'm so happy for you and Bean too. A little grandma love never hurt a kid did it?? He looks like a prince with his tray in bed -how sweet!

And yes, that last HP movie was a bit of a downer!

Celia said...

I feel the same way about Tuesdays. But sometimes I have to look at bedrest not in weeks, but in hours. Because it is a long day. We are at 32 weeks tomorrow. And it is my 18th day of bedrest. I find that breaking my day into two hour chunks makes it easier.

I just got my electric razor a few days ago and it is all charged up. I am so exited to test it out.

Michele said...

you arent gloomy! you can do it- you are and are doing great! oue twins were just shy of 28 weeks and spent 9 in the NICU, most of it in the transitional nursery. they are perfect. I am hoping you get wayyyyy farther but whatever happens, we'll be hear cheering you on.

Martha said...

Sorry for the blues, Sunny and so understandable.
Thanks for the adorable pics of Bean, I love his squinty smile for the camera and enjoying his "toes", Ha, ha!
Best always and in all ways to you and your family.
Here's my pep talk to the babies- Sit tight, little twinlets! There's nothing out here that Can't Wait for you both. Take your time and bake like good little boys.
Mrs.Cervix, hang tight too, thank you.

Nicky said...

I'm amazed that you haven't sailed right past gloomy and moved on to bitter? angry? whatever is well past gloomy. Nobody would blame you.

So, I know absolutely nothing about bedrest, but surely you could switch from your bedroom to a couch in the living room, no? Change of scenery might help. I'd go crazy stuck in my bedroom for more than a few days, but if I were in the living room, I wouldn't feel quite so isolated. Just a thought.

Eve said...

I am so glad you are still hanging in there. You just need to stay pregnant, there is no rule that you need to be jumping for joy about the situation. I will pray that those babies make it past 28 weeks and BEYOND and make you terribly uncomfortable and fat and stretched out and miserable in the best way.

Thanks so very, very much for your support you have given me on my blog and my recent loss. It means more than you know to hear from such dear blogging friends.

Eve

Kristin said...

I don't blame you for feeling gloomy. Bedrest has to be hard. It's been raining and cold and I was moaning about being stuck in the house...then I thought of you and felt like a jerk. You are doing great. Anyone would feel scared and gloomy but you are doing it. You have given your babies another week and every week matters so much. The hardest and most important thing we do as moms is be patient and try not to worry about all the things we can't control...so this is great practice...right? Thinking about you! I'll be checking in.
Kristin

Banshee said...

Great pictures!! We chose a blue paint for our family room..I actually really enjoy it, but have wondered how others would feel about it...ah well. We'll just enjoy it for now.

Congrats on 27 weeks! Every day counts, keep up the good work!

You should pick a happy movie next...maybe the Truman Show?

IF Optimist, then... said...

27 weeks is great. Hoping that the planets align and you get another 8-10 more weeks of baby baking time. I am so sorry that you are feeling down, but I'm glad that your mom and Bean are keeping you in such excellent company. I hope today's sunshine and Wednesday's appointment are two things that will cheer you up a bit.

Katie said...

I have had several friends on bedrest, and I do think that the gloom and doom is normal. From what they have told me, staying in bed all day SOUNDS all well and good, until the reality hits and you CAN'T get out of bed. And when you think about the reality of why you are in bed in the first place, it makes it even more stressful, and since you are lying in bed, you have time to do a LOT of thinking and a LOT of worrying.

One of my girlfriends (lives in Portland), had really hard time and her husband requested a support volunteer from sidelines.org. They matched her with a volunteer who had been on bedrest for a similar length of time and she came and visited once a week for the rest of her pregnancy. She brought treats, magazines, light meals, and they formed an incredible bond and are still friends three years later. When her friend had another high risk pregnancy and needed bedrest again, she was able to return the favor.

http://www.sidelines.org/request-support/

One of my other girlfriends OB requested massage therapy for her. A physical therapist came to her house 2x a week and did massage therapy for her IN HER HOUSE. Massage therapy can be beneficial for so many reasons, and you would probably have to check to make sure, but it was covered by her insurance. The same girlfriend also had acupuncture in her home. . . I have actually never had it myself, but she swears by it, and I didn't even know you could have it done at home. If that's your thing, this is who my girlfriend used:

http://www.acupuncturehealthworks.com/acupuncture-services.html

Well, I hope this helps. As I have never been on bedrest myself, I hope this isn't "assvice." I just hate to hear you unhappy and want to help! :)

Katie said...

And, ohmyword, your kid is CUTE. Freakin' adorable.

And, I seem to be incapable of leaving just one comment for you!

jingle said...

You son Bean looks very cute and lovely, count your blessings,
say more warm and loving words to him, he will cooperate more willingly...

kids are super smart, when you treat them well and with respect, they know and return passion and favor instantly...

take good care.
have a awesome afternoon.

Red said...

Sorry you are feeling down. I know you will look back when you get your boys and everything will be worthwhile, but it is tough meanwhile.

Cute pics!

Bri (fundraising cohort) said...

Soooooo I missed the week of delurking, so I'm doing it now.. I'm a lurker. You've opened my eyes to the world of blogs, and I am now getting even less housework done... thanks! :-)
Sorry to read that you're having a tough time, hang in there... as Barbara or Jane would say "This too shall pass!" :-)

OppositeOfOops said...

First of all, that Bean is a freakin cutie! I love his squinty smile - he's an adorable little ham. :)

Secondly, I can't imagine how hard it is, and how much pressure you're feeling. ((Hugs)) and hang in there - you're a supremely tough chick!

Mary said...

Just checking in on you, hopefully you are hanging in there! Grow babies grow! And I LOVE the pictures of Bean dining in bed, yum!

Shelley said...

I'm delayed on commenting...but 4 MORE DAYS! I hope you're holding up okay and that your appt this afternoon goes well.

Hollyween said...

I'm so relieved that you have your mom there to help. I'm sure she enjoys every minute of it and wouldn't have it any other way.

Um, Bean's scrunchie face is freakin' hilarious.

And now I think I need to buy myself a food tray so I can eat breakfast in bed (and force someone to feed it to me) now and then.

Sam said...

what an utter sweetie Bean is!!!! I love that breakfast tray - Bean looks very comfortable there - I must get myself one of those trays!! ;-)