Monday, January 11, 2010

Top eleven things about being on bedrest

1. Hairy is the new black.

2. I no longer worry about how I'll manage to look presentable as I outgrow all of my maternity clothes.

3. I will potentially go weeks/months without changing a diaper, which will help balance out the 4,271,639 poops and pees I will clean when we have three children who wear diapers.

4. I always have prime pick of the new super-sales at,, and

5. If I fart, I don't need to blame it on the dog, because it's just me and the dog here anyway and she doesn't judge.

6. I am fairly certain I can pass the bar exam, given how many judge shows I have watched. The extra cash I could earn would certainly come in handy.

7. My husband can't give an exasperated *sigh* when he comes in and finds me laying around, typing on the computer.

8. When my friends come to visit, they see the "real" and "natural" me, which I'm sure will bring us closer because I don't appear as intimidatingly gorgeous as I usually do.

9. There's this thing called and credit cards...

10. I have learned how to eat while sideways, which will come in handy if I ever become an astronaut.

11. I have finally gotten an answer to my burning question, "What would it be like to be the dog?"

I try to look on the bright side of this situation, dim as it may be. All my friends who have been on bedrest are bringing me books and magazines, saying they know how boring it is. I'm sure it will get boring as the weeks stretch on, but for now, I am still super busy trying to organize my life from my bedroom. I have purchased Bean's new bedroom set, ordered his new quilt, registered at BRU, planned Mom's Night Out for our MOMS Club, written a birthday card and two anniversary cards, chosen a paint color for the new office, plucked my eyebrows, penned a thank-you note for the two baby quilts our contractor's wife made for us, eaten a metric ton couple of truffles homemade and sent by my Aunt Sharon, completely taken advantage of all of my friends, and killed most of my brain cells watched The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love. See, I'm very busy! And I still have to get caught up on my email and Google Reader (down to 88 posts) (wait, now it's 90) (please stop posting for a minute, will you!).

The hardest thing, of course, is not being able to play with or comfort Bean. He seems to understand I can't leave the bed, which makes it easier... but he always wants to hang out with me here, which is very exhausting. It's hard to entertain a toddler on a queen-sized bed all day in ways that don't end up with goldfish crackers crushed between the sheets. (Yeah, those are from him.) (THEY ARE!) (Okay, a couple may be from me.) The transition has clearly been hard on him, we see more flashes of Evil Toddler Bean than we usually do. Hopefully he'll adjust to the new way of things soon.

My Mom landed safe and healthy yesterday, which has been a huge relief to all of us living here. I try not to think about how we will survive when she leaves. We won't smell as nice, that's for sure.

My follow-up appointment with the OB is tomorrow afternoon. I'll have my bags packed in the car, just in case. Wish me luck.



'Murgdan' said...

ROFL...your list is awesome, even if bedrest isn't.

Hang in there!

Kristina P. said...

I'm glad that you have a good attitude about it! But I guess, what else can you do?

K said...

Great attitude! I'm glad you're finding the silver lining. I'm not on bedrest but Amazon sure gets a lot of my money! Poor kiddo though, its gotta be tough for him to have mama in bed all day but its AWESOEM your mom can come down and help you guys out.

Hollyween said...

This is quite possibly my favorite post ever. And I think it's because of the farting line.

Everyone who has been pregnant or has been near a pregnant person is well aware of the fact that pregnant farts are volatile and can clear a room in less then one second. Just as John.

Lavender Luz said...

You're funny. Just had to say that.

And, woof!

Michelle said...

LOL your list cracked me up. But really girl you have been busy. I think you have accomplished more then I have lately...I better get moving.

I hope the time passes quickly! It must be so hard. I wish I could come visit you. I am in spirit! Hugs to you!

Red said...

Too funny! Glad you are looking on the bright side.

Your #3 made me think of a question: will you continue cloth with all 3 boys?

WiseGuy said...

ROFL on your list....I adore #11!

Yes, it must be so hard for Bean, who is now suddenly entrusted with taking a lil more care of himself....

You will do good! Take Care!

Anonymous said...

Hairy is the new black?! Awesome! I knew there was a reason you rocked.

I'm quite impressed by how much you've gotten done.

Glad you're mom arrived safely.

Mrs. Spit said...

Your attitude absolutely rocks, even if the actual bed rest part really sucks.

Sending hugs. Could you have a nap for me and tell me how I liked it?

Nicky said...

Hahaha! Glad you're keeping busy. It's cute that Bean keeps climbing into bed with you.

IF Optimist, then... said...

#1 and 10 really cracked me up. Sorry about the continued bed rest but hopefully you'll be better soon. Quick crazy question...why is it they don't do a cerclage?

Jen said...

I've always wondered what it was like to be a dog. Mine seems to live a pretty good life in my opinion! Poor Bean though. He must be thoroughly confused by his mama's newly-found lazy state.

I hope everything goes well at the OB today and that it truly is just an appointment.

Michele said...

Love your list!! So true, so true!

Martha said...

Sending you my best for a great OB appt. Your MOM Rocks!! Big ((HUGS)) to you and your sons.
You are still intimidatingly gorgeous to me...

Banshee said...

Am I too late for de-lurking week?

I read your blog sometimes...I should add it to my blogroll so I read it more regularly...

How'd I find you? Honestly, I'm from the Seattle area but displaced...and...well, I can't remember. I think I was googling around Seattle stuffs though...

I hope the bedrest works (even if it sucks) and keeps your boys baking for a Looooong time!

Mrs. Gamgee said...

Love your list! I always wondered what the life of a dog was like... ;)

Sending prayers... for your OB appointment, for you, your family, and those precious boys!

jingle said...

It is FUN to be able to make fun of oneself and feel comfortable about it.

What A Hit Humor Post!
It does not make any bad impression on me as a reader because behind the closed doors, we are almost the same.

You Be Cool,
Be True,
Be You,
I Like This Kind of You. :)

Sweet Dreams tonight,
Hope that you kid sleep through so that you have peaceful rest :)

Anonymous said...

Keep checking in to see how your appointment went. How all is well and that your are home!

Coffeegrl said...

Truly great list. I am so happy to know that you may well pass the bar soon. It would be useful to know a lawyer ;)

Yay! Mom's in the house!!

Lollipop Goldstein said...

Okay, I started laughing with the first one :-) At least you still have your sense of humour intact.

jingle said...

Take Care,

Happy Weekend!