Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Moving the carrot

I really wish I had more interesting things to blog about than my frequent doctor's visits, but not only is the other excitement in my life limited to watching idiot TV and googling "nicu stay by gestation" for the 1000th time, but it's been impossible for me to focus on much more than what's happening with my rapidly expanding belly and rapidly shrinking cervix.

I like to think of it as Whale Watch 2010.

With that apology out of the way, let's get on with it.

My weekly OB appointment was today... (drumroll please)... my cervix is unchanged since last week.


I was hoping it'd be a tad longer for all of our good efforts, but at least I'm grateful that they didn't want to keep me in the hospital. And for what it's worth, My Favorite Sonographer did say it looked stronger to her, even if the length was the same. (She also said that they all agree I'm the best-behaved patient of the practice, but I don't want Jen to feel bad so I won't mention that.)

I also got to see my regular OB again, finally. I have been dying to discuss the larger picture with her, as if somehow knowing The Plan would ease the continuous days, hours, minutes, seconds of worry.

I can't remember everything I asked, but here is generally what we are looking at now:

*She said she will be pleased when I reach 32 weeks, very happy at 34 weeks, and ecstatic at 36 weeks. No odds of making it to any certain point, we just keep taking it week by week.

*The last time they will check my cervix by ultrasound is at my appointment next week (32 weeks 5 days). After that point, the measurement is unreliable. However, if it is shorter next week, she will recommend hospitalization. She doesn't want it to get so thin that we end up delivering two preemies at home. Ummmm, cha.

*After 32 weeks, she'll check my cervix manually for dilation. And we'll continue to be vigilant for signs of preterm labor, and head to the birth center (if I'm still home) if/when needed.

*At 34 weeks, she would no longer use the heavy-hitting drugs to try to stop labor. If my body is done, it's done, and we'll welcome the boys into the world without a fight.

So I'm feeling a bit like the carrot moved from 32 weeks to 34 weeks. It's only 2 1/2 weeks away, yet it's a lifetime away. I wonder how I will make it through the constant uncertainty of bedrest, but then I know that the uncertainty of the NICU is far more heartwrenching.

And... yeah, that's pretty much it, I guess. My belly is measuring 38 weeks compared to a singleton pregnancy. The boys continue to look stellar in every way. Oh, and I seem to have developed vertigo, probably as a result of laying flat on my back for the last 6 1/2 weeks.

To cheer myself up, I've been looking at the old pictures of Bean that DH uploaded from our cell phones. (We just "upgraded" from phones with no features or apps to other phones with no features or apps, so we saved the pictures on our computer to not lose them.) I didn't fully appreciate the gift of delivering a healthy full-term baby who could room in with me. Although I really don't remember him sleeping that much. Or at all, actually.



Kristina P. said...

He was such a beautiful baby! Still is.

Mrs.Spit said...

If I promise to turn that carrot into carrot cake when those babies come, will that help?

(Yes, that is a real offer. I make a mean carrot cake)

Katie said...

Oh, gah! That is one cute lil' monkey there!

I know it's hard to feel so close to the finish line and then have it moved. That doesn't seem fair, does it.

You are doing great, though. You are so. freakin. close.

K said...

I like Ms. Spit's suggestion! Wow 34 weeks is so close at hand. Are you ready house-wise?

What a cute little baby!!! He's precious!

Mrs. Gamgee said...

He's such a dolly!

I know you will probably hate me saying this, but I am completely astounded that you are that far already. I swear it was just last week that you announced that it was twins...

IF Optimist, then... said...

So proud that you are being such a good patient! Keep it up kiddo. Remember, the carrot may have moved but the prize is bigger and better.

Michelle said...

Iff Bean is any indication, and I know he is, you are about to have some VERY CUTE boys! Whatever will you do with so much

All I can say is YOU ROCK!! You are doing an amazing job! Keep it up only a little bit left to go.

WiseGuy said...

Bean is so cute!!!

I am hoping that you make it to atleast 34 weeks....Good Luck!

If you watch movies, you could start reviewing them....

E said...

Aww, he is so cute. Scared me at first. I thought Oh, no!! but then I thought "Wow, that is a big baby for being early." lol. So, I knew you were fine, well, as fine as can be right now and the fact that I only saw one baby.

It is good news that your cervix is not shorter!! I will keep hoping and wishing you make it to at least 34 weeks.

How have you been faring bedrest? Here I am complaining of having GD but you have GD and bedrest.

Hang in there!!!

lisawitt said...

oh c, bean is so adorable! seems like just yesterday our boys were born!!

as for the next boys are doing GREAT! and 34 weeks is awesome. My bf had her twins Christmas 08 and 6.5 weeks early. One spent 1 night in nicu and the other 4 days. They were perfect! We celebrated their 1st birthdays back in Dec and one would never know they were born "premies"!! All that being said, your body is cooking them the best it can and they will be just perfect when they get here!! I truly cannot believe it is almost time!

Kate said...

Great news that you're only 2.5 weeks off from "very happy". And only a couple days off from the 32 week milestone.
Hope you can hang on to the very end at home!

jingle said...

he is very cute...

timeless smiles!

got a new award 4 u,
please choose one of the five.

take good care.

Kristi said...

Grab that carrot and go! Just to give you my experience (which was an emergency C section due to an issue too complex to bore you with, and not shortened cervix), I delivered my twins at 34 weeks, 3 days. They were 4.9 and 5.3, and they spent 6 days in the NICU (3 of those days not hooked up to anything and completely breathing on their own just about from birth). I will tell you that it was scary delivering at 34 weeks (I would have liked to make it to 36) and they are smaller than the average 16-month-old, but other than that, are doing just great.

And Bean = Adorable!

Lavender Luz said...

Well, those pix are enough to cheer anyone up.

So they moved the goal line to 34. Doctors are sneaky like that. Glad your lady parts are hanging in there.

How in the world are you passing your time? And how is your husband taking care of everything?

Kudos to you both.

Coffeegrl said...

Oh my dear. Vertigo on top of everything else?? Having had a few rounds of it myself I swear it's one of the most unpleasant experiences a person can have.

I love the pictures of Bean. How do we not realize at the time just how much they actually sleep when they're that little???

Here's to 32 weeks and beyond!!!

Jen said...

Don't worry about my feelings. I know that I'm far from the best patient in the practice I am sure given all my chai lattes and sugar these days!

And why is it that I only remember Jillian screaming and screaming at the hospital but she is sleeping in every picture? It looks like Danny was the same way. They tried to make us forget what we're in for this time. And x2 in your case!

You are so close. Just a little bit longer.

Beautiful Mess said...

I think i was going to say something about how amazing you are at bed rest and such, but after I saw the pictures of Bean, my brain overloaded on cuteness! I love those pictures. He has such a great smile! Awwwww...thanks for sharing them!

jingle said...

It is amazing to see a cute little pop grow, and able to walk, talk, and speak...

an exceptional post about love, growth, and connections...

Happy Weekend!

Banshee said...

you can do it! 34 weeks is almost here! (maybe if we keep telling you that it'll seem more bearable?)

Red said...

I can understand that must be frustrating. Just think that soon, when you have 3 boys to take care of, you will look back on this time of idleness as bliss (even though I am sure it doesn't feel like it now).

Carrie said...

KEEP hanging in there! You are totally rocking it. Bed rest is AWFUL and each of those days on your back are so worth it, but it is hard to see that. I wish I could've held out longer...

Um, those pictures make me want to screech! What a BEAUTIFUL baby, and there are two more going to be in your arms so soon!


Martha said...

Bean is beautiful, thanks for sharing his great smile.
Thinking of you w/<3.
17 more days, hmm, that's what 2.5 more weeks is, okay, Mrs.Cervix and Mrs.Uterus, Chill.

Eve said...

Hang in there momma. I know from my experience with ds how grueling complete bedrest is. You are doing everything within your power to keeps these twins safe. I'm sending you lots of prayers that God eases your physical discomfort and gives you peace that these little fighters are going to be just fine. Many hugs.


Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

Every day counts at this point! Good luck and congrats. Your son was ADORABLE! (Well, I'm sure he still IS, but you know what I mean...)